u/Mother-Jaguar7387

Mods, please let me know if I’m violating anything. I’m sorry about the while Mickey Rourke thing; wanted to make sure you know I’m not ai so I left it in

I am not looking for medical advice.

You guys. I am 48 years old. My kid graduated college, I figured out I’m autistic/gifted last year. I already knew I had adhd but also thought it was from trauma and/or I was faking it). I FINALLY understand so much about my brain and talents and needs.

I need to paint and I need to be in the woods sometimes. Oh! And I need to understand the why, need to be learning, and need to be making stuff out of other stuff (lamps, jewelry, learning carpentry, fermentation, etc)

And then I banged my elbow, and fell on my forearm.

It is impacting my functioning significantly, had a crappy neurology appt., left with no next steps and don’t know where to start.

So now I am experiencing some complex physical stuff that has resurfaced after a lifetime of high sensory needs suppression, raising a kid while navigating work and school and life.

I am medically avoidant for the most part, and have a pain tolerance of Micky Rourke’s dick so it’s hard for me to trust that providers are actually listening and not thinking I’m faking it or diagnosis seeking or something.

But also I was medically neglected as a kid, and then in DCF custody and THOSE guys aren’t really known for their follow through. The “Lupus fiascos” of my early 20s has definitely impacted my engagement also. And while I literally advocate for adolescents and families across mental health, child welfare, educational, residential systems, throughout my entire state professionally for the past 15 years, I realized I have no idea how to advocate for myself.

I saw a neurologist today. She was literally a hoarder. Literally. My exam was not thorough. I am going to write a short story about it because I’m not sure that it wasn’t actually an absurdist secret camera gameshow. Her exam table was covered in boxes, and there were paths to the two chairs.

What I am looking for: somebody who is super jazzed and knowledgeable about healthcare systems, nd health related stuff, who can VERBALLY interview me about my symptoms and history and then explain medical/insurance system access points for testing and/or treatment.

Then I would like that or a different someone to help me generate some next steps, questions, language, symptom monitoring, or whatever medically engaged people do, so I can keep on it while I’m waiting for referrals.

I am used to pushing through disempowerment alone in service of others.
I’m too tired to do it alone for myself.

I’d rather paint in pain and the certainty of pain for my twilight years, than navigate ineffective medical systems while hoping one day I won’t need to

In exchange here’s some stuff I could offer:

informal advice that is REALLY attuned

I will give you what I call a ‘bell hooks’ right upside your head. What this means is, I will tell you something that I wonder about you/your problem, said with deep wholeheartedness, will be delivered with care and respect and will push you towards your own, or my own, spiritual growth. Basically, I’ll ask us a wicked uncomfortable question that is hard to hear/ask but likely impactful.

I am an incredible hype-lady, both for confidence boosting, and for post-nervous system spike reassurance.

psychoeducation about almost anything related to child development, adolescent mental health, parenting, most common diagnoses,’etc. and WHY it might matter for you specifically

Adolescent system of care knowledge specific to your state

An amazing large format abstract photograph that I will print, sign and mail to the location of your choice. The print will be subpar but it will still be fucking stunning because it’s a special interest project I’ve been working on for 40+ years

Zippy one-liners? I don’t know—I’m funny and maybe it would be hilarious to learn about my history of mild incontinence?

Creative writing workshopping or feedback

I also LOVE learning about other people’s special interests—and get wicked engaged in learning through dialogue

The universe wants this for us

I had a few recent injuries that resulted in me having something going on with my left ulnar nerve. Xray ruled out breaks or fractures. I was seen at urgent care who referred me to neurology to be seen within 7 days. But they forgot to send the referral, which i found out after a week of ongoing pain and mobility issues while working full time and living alone. I had to go in person to ask them about it because they never answer their phones. I digress.

The neurologist called, is leaving for vacation and said “Well, this won’t be within 7 days but I can see you the day I get back.” So, that’s a full week away, two weeks since I orig ally went in. I’m treating with Tylenol, advil, a series of splints and pullies that I have to keep changing ( i think my shoulder may be fucked too?).

My question is: Am I supposed to be chill at a 5-8 pain level, intermittent swelling, disrupted sleep, and having to do everything with one hand for another week? I can’t really half ass my job, I do a lot of typing, and work in a 10 day adolescent crisis program, and my other wrist and shoulder are starting to pay the price. I am wicked high masking autistic lady, with a pain tolerance that has actually scared people; I can deal if I have to but this sucks

I don’t ever really go to the doctor so I don’t know if I’m under-reacting or being a baby.

For reference, my pain scale is 0fine—10childbirth/bone deep tooth infection

I had a few recent injuries that resulted in me having something going on with my left ulnar nerve. Xray ruled out breaks or fractures. I was seen at urgent care who referred me to neurology to be seen within 7 days. But they forgot to send the referral, which i found out after a week of ongoing pain and mobility issues while working full time and living alone. I had to go in person to ask them about it because they never answer their phones. I digress. The neurologist called, is leaving for vacation and said “Well, this won’t be within 7 days but I can see you the day I get back.” So, that’s a full week away. I’m treating with Tylenol, advil, a series of splints and pullies that I have to keep changing ( i think my shoulder may be fucked too?). My question is: Am I supposed to be chill at a 5-8 pain level, intermittent swelling, disrupted sleep, and having to do everything with one hand for another week? I can’t really half ass my job, I do a lot of typing, and work in a 10 day adolescent crisis program, and my other wrist and shoulder are starting to pay the price. I am wicked high masking autistic lady, with a pain tolerance that has actually scared people; I can deal if I have to but this sucks. I don’t ever really go to the doctor so I don’t know if I’m under-reacting or being a baby. For reference, my pain scale is 0fine—10childbirth/bone deep tooth infection