u/MousseLanky4062

I was in my desk drawing my comics and i was listening to my playlist and some really sad music was playing. I already felt sad, and kept saying horrible things about me. So while drawing, i was crying and wondering why the heck am i wasting my time with this. But then the song "Beat it" from Micheal Jackson and it struck me. Like i suddenly felt powerul. And i angrily/happilly continued to draw my comic feeling overpowered.

I saw the movie recently which added to my sudden motivation§

You still give hope to us Micheal ! Love you !

now let me explain😭

i recently managed to stop being addicted to porn content. i usually did it like in many medias. Videos, photos, books, AI texts. EVERYTHING. it was because i watched shit when i wa younger (free access to wifi yk?)

expect 2 girls i did some kind of things with, i never had any relationship nor intimate relation with anyone. im the "i look experimented but im a virgin girl" yk ?

so yeah, now i recently managed to stop being addicted, but it didnt stop me from fantasizing. and now, my fantasies kinda became soft.

before i would wish to rail someone crazy, do dirty kinks and shit and whatever hardcore BDSM i saw online.

now ?

i just want that, without the bandage. the scenario is like me and my fake ahh husband doing it in the kitchen, we get silly and horny as the kids are away in schools.

its all happy and stuff, which crack me up. like i REALLY get horny just imagining that. foreplay anywhere with my fake ahh husband. a lovely happy marriage where we get nasty somewhere.

does it happen to anyone else too ??? i cant be the only crazy person to change mindset like that🤣

I never believed in therapy nor using meds to make life easier. It scare me to be depedant to that. I have friends who use both and i totally respect that, it's just not for me.

So when i hit rock bottom in January 2025 and fell in depression, i never ever wanted to go to therapy. It was after high school, and it was the holidays. So i always stayed in my bedroom, ate alone at night. Playing games and having a messy schedule. Lust, social media, games, snacks. It's like my life have been revolved around those things.

What actually saved me, was when my mom stepped in and forced me to go to an internship to have some money. Well past forward, i finally got accepted in March and immediately went to work, like the next day. We choosed whatever was open. Whatever was available was fine with me, better than being inside my bedroom rotting. It was a work in rugbyfield and i had to go around elementary school to make some rugby activities with kids. I kind of was interested in rugby so i accepted.

I was anxious. I never was really sociable to begin with. But the first day, it was just me watching my boss does his rugby activities. It's weird, but, when i watched the kids play rugby, all happy, all joyful, its like something inside me was revealed. I was once like that. I too just wanted to have fun in life. It was like being releaved the fragile innoccence of life move just infront of your eyes. And something moved when my boss the following words :

"We just make it fun for them. Rugby is supposed to be something to have fun at first with others. No need for complicated stuffs."

And it kind of opened myself to many opportunities. I worked, i made mistakes and was struggling. But i will never exchanged what i felt for that first day. It kind of reminded me that life is worth it. Why life is fun. I had awkward moments where i could definitely been better, but i still hold them dear to me. Becaus that's what build me until now.

It opened doors inside me. Made me learn cool stuff about me. Made know myself more. Which also helped know what i want do with my life. There is always difficult moments. And you will always have days in the morning or the night, where you wonder why the f*ck are you still living. But you just remember those moments, just have a little bit of breath to look and reflect.

Life is full of things. Good, bad, or just there. We just are living in life. What actually matter is the happy moments you hold dear to you, and only you. Things no one can understand but you. It fills you and made you, you. You are special, because you have something nobody else can sense. You are of something you never asked for, of the things you love doing, the people you chatted with, the parents who gave you birth, the problems you were given, the obstacles you must face and the things that make you so unique. You are everything that make you so unique.

You are not just a sentence you read in TikTok. You are so many things in just one body. And that's precious. And life can be hard, that's true. But it's those happy, small instances that make it worth it. And as llife goes on, you start to want more of those happy moments. So you just create more happy memories.

I came to a point in my life, where my mistakes shaped me a open minded life. So feel free to just vent.

Your life matters :)

Ok, so it's a movie about a man who learn that he have only a few days to live. I Don't remember if he feels sad about it or not, but he decided that he will does everything he can to do what he can. I think he went to kill some people. And he had a relationship with a woman (idk if she was the same age as him or younger) who was kinda edgy and draw to him. Anyway, he came back to that doctor, and he leanr that the doctor actually took the wrong folder : meaning he read the results of another patient. Meaning, he isn't gonna die and whatever he is suffering from can be healed.

Now, im searching this movie cuz i don't remember how it ends. It had that old song playing in the backgorund at some point that sounds so cool and made me watch it...

i think i finally know what they meant by that.
since i came to live in a big city for college, i moved to my parents house to my own studio! and it's magical how cooking is such a wide wxperiment!

i manage to make my own pizza ! my own bread ! a chocolate cake ! and some bolognaise pasta !

now im out of money and out of many ingredient to make a complete meal, so somehow, i manage to eat some french stew (cassoulet) with pasta! okay hold on to me..

at first it looked werid so i added some salt, paprika, and smached the peas so it made a sauce and damn that st so good!

10/10 improvised meal!

(it's a long post!...)

i'm F19, and i'm failing my year completely.

like yeah completely.

i never left hometown, so when i came to live in the big city, it was hard. Everyone moved fast, like they were rushing on everything. Everything is stressing and university was a big rush for me.

Assignements were my weakness and i totally forgot to note some. i have no friends in that country, because i wasn't used to their type of humor (really dumb reasons, pls don't attack me!) and all. in where i came from, since its a small community, everyone knew everyone. so all classmates were automatically kind-of friends. but in the big city, it was completely different.
There is a huge step between classmates and friends overall.

Anyway, my issues were asking classmates for homework. i was embarassed to do so because i was a real awkward person in real life. it was hard personnally since i never knew how to express myself IRL and with my own voice.

Now the second semester is about to end, and stuff have been pretty hard lately. until i realized that i have to change more about myself. i had a lot of free time to think, and i realize how selfish i was to think i had worst then everyone else, when everyone also have their sacks of problems you know ?

Taking walks outside my comfort zone also helped me to realize. i have to change my ways of thinking. to adapt in that new city, and finally focus on my studies.

took me a while to realize that, life actually is all about mindset first, then action second. i watched kids shows like "Kung Fu Panda" and "The Great Lego Adventure" and idk, it mades me cry a little lol. make me realize that life is awesome, if you let it be. and thats what i did! now everyday is important to me, as im focusing on who i want to become and... wtf idk, its like i could actually see flowers all around me yk ?

in case you wonder, i have no boyfriends, no dating life, no interest on dating anyone and no experience in that area. My friends talked about that in high school like it was something you automatically have in high school, but i think they forgot to tell me that i HAVE to search for that if i wanted one 🤣

anyway, now, my life is going pretty good. i failed my class, yeah. so im doing it again next year after holidays. but now, i feel like im starting seeing this like a good opportunity to be a better person.

ok, it was me dumping one year of my life in one post lol. idk, i dont expect anything anymore, and i think its best part

Hi, i'm 19, in college and it's like i'm always hesitant with my life. i always been one to start things but never finish them for example.

it's like i'm moving with that any clear directions.

Now i'm in bed, wondering what the hell do i truly want. I choosed something in college that i slightly liked (geography) cuz i actually messed up making my portfolio for art studies.

It's stupid, i guess, but what's done is done. i don't know what to feel about that.

i have many things i started, but never finished. and that's mainly because i don't know where i'm heading. i want to make comics and stuff. and make money too. I know i can't do that for now, but i have the idea to makes comics aside and start trading.

Since it's the holidays soon for me, i wondered what could i do to make all of this work ?

Ok so hear me out-

Ive always been a pervert since i was a teen. like, the first time i watched porn was when i was a kid and it blew my mind for real. i was like 11 or something ?

anyway, since then i've been watching all sort of lewd stuff and it really did excite me. i watched everything, read lots of stuff. Pleasuring myself became my second hobby after breathing yk

i've never done anything before with anyone. men, women, individuals. never touched anyone's skin before and its all been a fantasy of mine since then.

but lately, ever since i entered college and started living on my own, my fantasies have turned.. healthier ? family friendly ? idk what the term is. i'm in college, single, no relationship, no sexual actions going on, nothing! not even married yet!!

now i fantasize about doing lewd thing to my partner while the kids are away. being all sneaky in the kitchen as they prepare our dinner. Recently, i was the one cooking and they were cheering me up by giving dome head (good memory)

We would lay on the couch watching TV, eating chips and burrito during sundays, as we slowly get things heated and fuck on the couch slow. or even touch each other.

And when i watch porn, ill be like "mmh.. bet this guy would look good if he fucked her after dinner.. or that table, after work blah blah.." i'll be adding context to PORN when they are literally just fucking bruh💀

it kind of switched my ways of thinking porn and fantasies. i usually thought about plot of threesome for example then some way ill manage to turn it like "mmh.. nah i fuck my partner better alone" or something.

now i stopped watching porn (for like.. two months now?) and ive only been using my imagination so far.

i think i became a healthy pervert !

just got my hands on a PS5 to play The Last of Us 1 and 2 remastered! really cool! now i want to try some guys i can play non stop...

i had my eyes on Baldur's Gate 3 and it kind of have everything i want from a game but im hesitating. i dont want to waste the PS5, so i really want any recommendations that have the followings points (not ALL of them, but some or at least one):

- RPG that let you customize your character and give you choices to make (that have consequence or not.)

- Horror game: is aw a caseoh video and i lowkey felt interested on playing horror game/simulator. ex: corner shop you have to handle a shop but there is a monster or whatever.

- World building: a game like that one game TheoTown on Play Store. i LOVE creating environment and places damn it. i NEED something similar.

- Romance type choice idk?: idk i saw a video of a game caller Starlewd Valley and it looks lowkey peak.

-Tactical Type of game?: a game similar to Fire Emblem ? damn i miss that game. if they had it on PS5 i would bought all their merch.

- Game decisions : your decisions matter like life is strange. too bad i already played it on phone.

- a game like Fire Emblem but in ps5 ?🤣

idk while typing this i realise i really want a game like that bruh.

yeah thats all!

my own note but if i dont find any cool games, i may as well sell my PS5 and buy a nintendo switch😭🙏