u/Mystic_Squish

Hey im a weirdo looking for another weirdo to chat with lol. My life basically sucks and I dont do small talk. Dang im really not selling this but at least im being honest. I joke a lot and I can become clingy unfortunately, its not intentional. Looking for complete and total non-judgement. People always say they dont judge but they do. My life is very boring and basically nonexistent but I'll try to keep the conversation interesting. I know some small talk is needed to get things rolling but I dont like when it sounds like an interview basically.

Hey im a weirdo looking for another weirdo to chat with lol. My life basically sucks and I dont do small talk. Dang im really not selling this but at least im being honest. I joke a lot and I can become clingy unfortunately, its not intentional. Looking for complete and total non-judgement. People always say they dont judge but they do. My life is very boring and basically nonexistent but I'll try to keep the conversation interesting. I know small talk is important at first but I just want people to be their real true selves. No judgements here as long as im not judged. Mutual effort would be appreciated thank you ☺️

Its really discouraging when I make a post looking for friends and I really click with someone yet they put no effort in, after they are the ones that messaged me. Or the fact I say in the post that im not good with small talk, but almost every message is just that.

Im not good with small talk and im a very weird person looking for like-minded weirdos. Be real and be you. I understand some small talk is needed to form a foundation I guess but come onnnn. Show me the ugly and be judgement free. (I'll most likely go to bed soon but I promise to reply until then and after I wake up)

Hey im a weirdo looking for another weirdo to chat with lol. My life basically sucks and I dont do small talk. Dang im really not selling this but at least im being honest. I joke a lot and I can become clingy unfortunately, its not intentional. Looking for complete and total non-judgement. People always say they dont judge but they do. My life is very boring and basically nonexistent but I'll try to keep the conversation interesting.

Hey im a weirdo looking for another weirdo to chat with lol. My life basically sucks and I dont do small talk. Dang im really not selling this but at least im being honest. I joke a lot and I can become clingy unfortunately, its not intentional.

Will never be anyone's first choice. I am the last resort. Im not the person people run to first. I will never be loved, not romantically or more than that. I will not be chosen first. I am always replaceable and the first one to be replaced. I have been in so much pain with no comfort for far too long. I genuinely give up. I hate this fucking life.

I just want someone to message. It doesnt have to go further than that. I suck at small talk and depression has a choke hold on me. Just maybe someone can take my mind off things and I can also take their mind off things.

I dont wanna be here anymore. How do you continue life when youre full of love but no one to give it to and you also will never receive that love? All I have ever wanted was to be loved. I feel so worthless. I feel like the world will be better off

Not like I wanna be. Im a crappy person and a crappy friend and just destined to be alone forever

One of these days I will be worth the conversation to someone. I will be worth every bit of that uphill battle. And I will be worth sitting thru uncomfortable feelings. I will be worth it to someone one day. I will be worth everything I have spent months begging you for. I will be worth everything I have cried for. I will be worth it all and more. I was never worth it to you. You are a liar. Im nothing to you. Watch while you become nothing to me now.

Have you heard of that story? I suggest you look it up. That's you. You are the boy thats been crying sick every week since Christmas. Oh sorry I didnt message you for 2 days I was too sick to even live yet I refuse actual medical care and its an ongoing issue every week for 5 months.

You love me? Im the one and only right? Absolute bullshit. "I cant live without you" and then spends every week finding ways to ghost me while being too chicken shit to be honest.

You know what hurts the most? Its not you thinking im too damn stupid to ever figure it out. Its the fact I believed you actually cared for me at all. Its the fact I thought you loved me. Im over here crying to random strangers that are having to comfort me.

STAY FUCKING GONE! I know the second I reply to you then it's only a matter of days before im fucking ghosted again. You don't do that to people you claim to fucking love!!! And you fucking know that so respectfully fuck off.

Edited to add that im not even worth your communication. Im not even worth a sentence so you could let me know so I wouldnt worry myself fucking sick and into panic attacks thinking the worst. Im not even worth a fucking sentence to you but you love me?!?!? Nah that is the most hate I've seen from someone. Not even worth a sentence smfh. Leave me the fuck alone.

But thats not being ghosted? Im not worth a singular message in that time period? "Hey bitch im sick" nah just fuck me right? Cause who gives a fuck about my feelings? You sure as shit dont.

Im so sick of everyone. I just wanna ghost everyone and disappear. Tried making friends on different reddit subs and its either the most dry boring conversations to exist or im only good for whats between my legs. That makes me feel so fucking worthless. I also love how effort and everything is expected of me but the same effort and energy isn't returned. Like fuck off.

I was gonna make a big long post ranting with stuff way too personal but you know what? Im okay. Im not okay, im gonna cry and be pissed and rage and be depressed and be happy, but I will be okay. Its gonna be okay. People will come and go and its all good. Life will always have problems and its all good. Even if it doesnt seem okay it'll be okay.

Thank you to everyone who has reached out to me, the good and the bad. Although, there wasnt that many bad. I have a long ways to go as far as being "myself" again, whatever that is, but I've come a long ways thanks to people taking my mind off things. I really appreciate it. People think they dont make a difference or they dont matter but I promise you do, at least with me.

So much for us finishing split fiction huh? Im glad I reset all of my progress on the first descendant since we "were gonna play together". Don't even get me started on the Minecraft world that I have spent months building and is now completely gone and erased, so I guess I'll be starting that over alone. Thank you for earning my trust and building me up just to hurt me worse than everyone ever has. Stay gone! Its what youre fucking good at anyways.

Why did you have to make me feel like the most important person to exist just to do this? Why did you have to leave me feeling so lonely and worthless? Why did you leave my heart in a million pieces yet fucking again? Why did you ever come into my life? There's so many more things I wanna say out of hurt and anger but I know I'll regret it so im not saying anything else.

I wish I didnt have to stay busy every second of the day or else I spiral and cry. I wish I didnt feel so lonely. I wish I didn't feel so worthless. I wish I could wake up with my heart healed and no sadness and no tears in my eyes. I wish all the bullshit you said was true. I wish I was full of happiness and love instead of heartbreaking depression with rage. I wish I wasnt lonely

I hope one day i will be healed enough to stop posting here. At least to stop on a regular basis. I wish I was worth it. I wish I was worth someone's love and time and attention. He showed me I am absolutely not worth any of that. He showed me how worthless I am. He showed me I mean nothing. Everybody telling me to keep my head up, I thank you and I understand everyone is just trying to help but i dont wanna do that anymore. I want to crawl into a dark hole and die. I wish I was worth something. I wish I meant something. That is what kills me and my heart.

I have never felt this lonely in my life. I feel like i am worthless. I feel like i am nothing. Everybody says it gets better and I know it does but I cant see that right now.