u/NarcHealingWithGod

Had a bit of a breakthrough today that seemed worth sharing...and I’m curious if anyone else has experienced something similar?

I realized there are two specific words and one short phrase that trigger my nervous system (yuck feeling) and had no idea until I heard all three of them spoken today.

In most contexts, these are actually incredibly healthy, positive, and healing words. Unfortunately, they were heavily weaponized in my marriage. It’s a strange, frustrating feeling when the language of growth is twisted into a tool for harm.

Instead of trying to "reframe" these words (something I'll eventually address..maybe?).. I decided to go with alternate words that have the same meaning... but resonate more with my healing process.

What's interesting is that my nervous system felt the change immediately.

I’m not going to share those words here for now, but I wanted to put this out there..

Has anyone else had seemingly appropriate or "healing" words weaponized against them in their abusive relationship? Were you able to reframe or find ways to break the negative associations?

Taking the steps to heal from abuse (i.e., narcissistic, physical, etc.) is the hardest thing you will ever do. Keep going....don't give up....your healing is worth it! 👍

https://reddit.com/link/1tgsqvv/video/kk4fa5ytfx1h1/player

Philippians 4:13 - "I CAN DO ALL THINGS, through CHRIST, who STRENGTHENS ME"🙏

Taking the steps to heal from abuse (i.e., narcissistic, physical, etc.) is the hardest thing you will ever do. Keep going....don't give up....your healing is worth it! 👍

My 18 year old daughter is testing me right now. When I ask her to help with chores around the house, she either refuses or ignores me. And as a single dad of three daughters, I need their help around the house.

I've been calling her out on this..and she does them grudgingly...though she makes comments like "well if I have to do chores here, then I will stay at mom's". I told her once "go ahead as my home is not a hotel and since you know so much more than me and you're technically an adult, you can figure out how to pay for this, this and that". It seemed to work, but honestly, I was being reactive and not sure if that was the best thing to say?

We have a good relationship and get along well when she's not angry or coming sideways at me. I also told her that I'm not going to walk on eggshells in my own home..been there and done that.

I know she is hurting from the marriage split, along with her own life adjustment as an 18 year old. It just pains me to see her going through this (fortunately she is in therapy).

I'm praying to find that balance between loving and supporting her as she works through things and setting healthy boundaries. Thank you for your prayers and advice welcome...🙏

"Get Out" is one of my favorite movies and I recently figured out why. In my opinion, the main actor, Daniel Kaluuya portrays what "cognitive dissonance" looks like perfectly.

This is also Jordan Peele's (Key & Peele, "Gaslighting Megan") first directorial movie which also won an Academy Award for "best screenplay" in 2017.

Warning- This movie is disturbing and NOT recommended for children or sensitive viewers.

https://reddit.com/link/1tc6m8h/video/ayx1flcewx0h1/player

https://preview.redd.it/phs0cb0qlx0h1.png?width=438&format=png&auto=webp&s=4280c36a45398177bef8cbdbc4390be6611610f7

I’m almost a year out of my narcissistic abusive marriage, and I’m realizing that rebuilding trust is one of the hardest parts of healing.

I know people are human...they’ll fail me and I’ll fail them... but my nervous system still scans for threats even when someone seems trustworthy.

Sometimes the smallest glimpse of someone’s humanity makes my walls go up fast, especially if it reminds me of something from my past.

I’m not hopeless, and know it will get easier, just being honest. This part is hard.

If anyone else can relate, I’d love to hear how you navigated it.