u/NarwhalRadiant7806

Something slightly more personal than diapers and wipes, but something affordable that you’d give to a person you barely know — thank you in advance!

Several women at my job are pregnant and it appears they do the baby shower thing here (don’t even get me started on the etiquette of this). Cash has been strongly suggested. I barely know these women or anything about them, and I’m *extremely* strapped for cash at this time.

What is the appropriate amount of money to give for this type of obligation?

EDIT: cash will be expected, and (particularly as a manager) this isn’t optional, it’s essentially extortion. I get along fine with most of the people here but they are not my friends. A lot of people here are close, and my personal feeling is they should just attend a shower outside of work - but it is what it is!

Seriously how low have we sunk as a species that simply meeting people has become soooo complicated? I hadn’t dated since the 90s and after my husband passed away I chose to wait till my daughter was grown to make any attempts at dating - what an absolute nightmare of a circus it is out here. Like, no one is straightforward and there are all these weird new games and rules. I was always vehemently against making the first move, but all I hear these days is how women *have to* do it, because men are uncomfortable approaching them.

So it takes me forever, I finally step wayyyy out of my comfort zone, and wind up with a situation that *very* quickly burned out due to this guy’s weird, selfish, inconsistent behavior. WT actual F, just say you’re not interested - what happened to honesty? Why start something with zero intention of making any effort? It‘s going to be extremely difficult for me to do this again, if I’m even able to at this point.

I’m reading here and hearing from others about how they are just looking for something/someone normal and honest and nice - so obviously it’s out there, but where are all of these people? And why can’t men just man up and approach women anymore? Not going to attempt the online route for a number of my own reasons. Hearing stories here and elsewhere, it doesn’t sound like a great idea, regardless, for a variety of other reasons.

I received some really good tickets to an event next week and invited someone, via text, who I thought would be interested. Did not receive a response yet (asked yesterday afternoon) - how long do I wait before inviting someone else?

EDITED TO ADD: the text was read yesterday - it’s someone I don’t want to (*refuse to*) double-text or follow up with. I did inform the person that the tickets were given to me, free. I don’t know, feel like there should be a reasonable amount of time to await response before I just find someone else. I’ll wait till the end of the weekend and going forward (in general, not with this particular individual 😂) will definitely remember to add “let me know by X if you’re interested” so as not to leave myself hanging again.

Gotta rant. I went to great pains to hide my birthday at work, due to the fact that they do this god awful ritual where they sing, and I hate being sung to. Anyway, they found out. Myself and 3 others were “celebrated,” each with a little cake. Mine was not gluten-free. The ONLY thing that makes the singing the tiniest bit tolerable for me is the promise of CAKE when it’s over.

I know there was absolutely no malice intended, but it was thoughtless. And the woman who organizes this stuff was put-out that I was bothered (there were SO MANY layers of reasons why I was bothered that would make this a far longer rant than it needs to be). She kept pushing “just eat the fruit off the top” (I said that’s too risky and I’d put it in the break room for others to eat) “NOOOO you can take it home” (TO WHOM IN MY GF HOUSE). I don't like explaining or having whole discussions, just please let me leave without a whole argument.

Like if you’re going to do something “nice” for employees, then make an actual effort (they are well aware I have some kind of allergy as I usually cannot partake in food that is brought in) or it’s not nice. And it‘s not my job to make anyone feel better about not being inclusive on top of embarrassing me.

Last year just before summer some neighbors set up a basketball hoop on the sidewalk, which hangs over the street. We live in a parking-impacted neighborhood and can only park on one side - the side where the hoop is. I won’t purposely park there but I’m at the point where I also won’t drive around the block looking for another spot so that space can stay open if they want to play on a whim. They don’t use it all that often, but one of the kids asked me to move one day so they could play (they played for less than 10 min).

(edited to remove a bunch of extra details so my actual question doesn’t get lost in what looks like a rant)

I’m on “friendly acquaintance” terms with most of my neighbors and want to be kind, even though I feel that taking up that kind of space is rude and presumptuous. I’m not a monster and have always tried to be understanding about the kids‘ need to play freely. My spidey sense (which is pretty good) tells me that a parent will bring it up to me sometime soon, and I just want to be prepared. I tend to be very straightforward which I’ve been told is a problem, that I come across as cold or even mean. Is there a polite way to respond while holding one’s ground, or is this simply a no-win situation for me?

At least now I can recognize it’s the PMS talking, but I am having an incredible amount of difficulty - actually, I am straight-up FAILING at - holding my tongue about things that upset me.

I’ll avoid the more controversial stuff but one example is, a woman who comes into my job a couple times a week mentioned that her friend got an AirBnB in Havasu. I felt my face wince in disgust and said “ew.” She said, “what’s wrong with that?” Friends, I went on a 10-minute rant about exactly what’s wrong with AirBnBs and the people who own them - leaving her stunned.

I pride myself on being accepting and minding my business, but am currently finding it impossible to not weigh in on every single thing which I feel is affecting me in some way. Anything from someone’s mouth being dry when they’re speaking (ok I do have misophonia), to dogs in stores, to people voting on a measure I was vehemently opposed to, and everything else in between. It’s awful and I just can’t be stopped 😭 I shouldn’t even be looking at Reddit because I unloaded on a commenter yesterday (I was RIGHT, but it wasn’t necessary).

I had my first bout of eczema Jan 2023 - came out of nowhere, age 44. Felt like maybe related to cold/dry weather, but who knows. Hit hard and heavy, had a couple of BAD flare-ups, then settled into occasional ones. (A couple of people suggested it was long-covid related)

Had the worst one ever in March 2025, lasted a full month, oozing, bleeding, full-body breakout, everywhere. It did come on the heels of being “glutened“ so I assume that was why it was extra awful (?)

Couple minor flare-ups after that. I’ve had slight patches on my hands and rumblings of flare-ups on my eyelids (why must it appear in such obvious areas!?) but hypochlorous acid usually does the trick, and small amounts of Aquaphor on my hands.

It hit me the other day (and I hope I’m not jinxing it here!) that I haven’t had a bad flare up in over a year, or even a minor one in a few months.

Has anyone ever heard of/experienced this? Coming on as an adult, then just going away?

There’s a guy I see on a weekly basis - both of us expressed interest, I told him to call me and we’d go out sometime, then… nothing. Ok. He ramped it up again and it just all felt very low-effort. Like if you’re interested, *do* something about it; I am not playing games.

I will run into him still so I’d prefer to not make that weird - but basically, he took too long, I got bored with the idea, and the offer “expired” 😂 Any ideas as to how can I convey this in a calm and straightforward manner, so as to avoid further interaction on that personal of a level?

My 19yo is a great kid. Dean’s and President's honors, a wide circle of friends, works part time. My issue is having to nag and flip out over chores - and even then she acts as though I’m abusive and will *STILL* skip or half-ass it.

How do others deal with this issue?

At this point I’m considering levying cash fines because I’m stuck with a bunch of extra labor and, frankly, can use the money. It takes away from my very limited free time after an exhausting job dealing with the public - while she is living foot loose and fancy free.

Has anyone else tried this? What do you do with a young adult child who can come and go as they please?