u/Natural-Chipmunk-472

I have TFMR scheduled 8/25. This is my second late loss but first TFMR. With my last loss at 16 weeks I recovered quite well and quickly. Obviously the hardest part is the emotional recovery. I love travel and honestly sitting at home is not good for my mental health. My husband and I are tempted to fly to Europe to get away for a week. Not sure where exactly but a city with good healthcare (like in Sweden or Copenhagen since those are some of the lower priced flights). We originally wanted to travel on 9/3 before all this happened but that’s only 9 days out. I imagine I’d be physically okay but is that pushing it? I figured 2 weeks would be the smarter move. We talked about just driving around Canada which is international travel but doesn’t feel as “let’s get away” as Europe. Also we’d take it easy. Wander museums and town but nothing too demanding.

Hi all,

Sadly I have had a late miscarriage that requires surgical intervention. I’ve only lived in the state for 6 months and don’t have the hours to qualify for FMLA or paid family leave in WA. I do thankfully qualify for pregnancy disability leave. However, my work is saying I have to exhaust my PTO and extended illness benefit (EIB) first before I go unpaid. I’ve seen conflicting answers online on if this is allowed or not. It sure feels like I’m being punished by having to use my PTO for something so out of my control.

My work said that because I don’t qualify for FMLA, I still get the leave but it follows the personal leave of absence pay structure (using PTO EIB first). I just want to go fully unpaid and save my PTO in case I get sick later in the year.

I’d appreciate any advice.

My baby was NIPT+ for T18. US showed substantial hygroma. We are still going to do amnio but I’m already scheduled for TFMR in 2 weeks. I’ll be 15 weeks exactly. I had a previous spontaneous miscarriage (with vaginal delivery) at 16 weeks. I’m wondering if anyone else has had both a traumatic late miscarriage and a TFMR. How was the coping similar or different? The hardest part for me is knowing he still has a heartbeat and when I wake from surgery, he won’t be there. I already have anticipatory grief and anxiety for when I wake up. I feel confident in my decision, but naturally there are the what ifs. I was devastated last time, so I know I will be again, but I just wonder if it’ll be different since we “chose” when to do this and how. Still praying for the miracle that he passes naturally before so we don’t have to deal with that element of heartbreak but I’m not optimistic. I considered the idea of letting things progress since it’s likely he will pass naturally at some point, but that just prolongs the inevitable and it’s harder on my body and mind.

Also while I’m posting, any tips for mentally preparing for this? I’ve gotten the US photos and tried to be present with him. I’ve tried to remind myself he is still currently here and alive so I can cherish this time. I don’t want to regret anything.

Looking for some similar stories and reassurance. I had my first miscarriage Sept 2025. Found at 8 weeks baby measured 5 weeks. Got pregnant immediately after and lost him at 16 weeks due to what we thought was recurrent SCHs and chronic placental abruption. Got pregnant on 4th month after. Everything seemed to be going well until NIPT showed T18. This was last week. Today detailed US shows findings consistent with T18 so although I technically haven’t had a 3rd loss, it will come. I hope naturally but otherwise TFMR (and please don’t try to change my mind, I’ve seen T18 as a nurse and I’m set on my decision). I’m at a loss for how this happened. 3 losses from seemingly differently causes. We now wonder if there was a genetic component to the second loss. I’m just in shock and it feels surreal we are in this situation again. I would really love to hear some similar stories with a positive outcome because I’m basically at rock bottom right now.

How do you deal with the anger and jealousy towards others? Just saw someone post about their pregnancy. It’s baby number two and I just feel so upset that I don’t get to be that lucky. There are some people in my life who aren’t particularly wonderful people… yet here they are, multiple kids and no losses. I realize there are some people who may have had losses I’m unaware of, but also some I know for a fact haven’t. It’s just so unfair. I’m devastated and want to avoid any person with an infant. This sounds so so so bad, but there’s this awful part in me that wishes they had a loss so they knew my pain and I wouldn’t be the only one 😣 I hate having those thoughts and I feel guilty for it.

I can’t believe I’m writing this, but today we found out the NIPT was positive for trisomy 18. I’ve personally seen many patients with T18 as a nurse and I always worried about it in the future. It’s so surreal this is happening. I’ve had two miscarriages in the last year (8 wk and 16 wk). I feel like the unluckiest person in the world. My OB sent a referral for further testing and we are waiting to schedule. My actual lab report gave a PPV of 25.7%. My OB said my US at 11 weeks looked normal to her but it was just a quick scan. She said she did actively look for signs of a genetic issue so she could give a “warning”, but again the scan was super fast. I’m so terrified. Idk what I will do if it’s truly positive. I mostly just don’t know what to do with myself for the next 1-3 weeks while I wait for testing 😣 I’m 12 weeks and it was a good fetal fraction.

I can’t believe I’m writing this, but today we found out the NIPT was positive for trisomy 18. I’ve personally seen many patients with T18 as a nurse and I always worried about it in the future. It’s so surreal this is happening. I’ve had two miscarriages in the last year (8 wk and 16 wk). I feel like the unluckiest person in the world. My OB sent a referral for further testing and we are waiting to schedule. My actual lab report gave a PPV of 25.7%. My OB said my US at 11 weeks looked normal to her but it was just a quick scan. She said she did actively look for signs of a genetic issue so she could give a “warning”, but again the scan was super fast. I’m so terrified. Idk what I will do if it’s truly positive. I mostly just don’t know what to do with myself for the next 1-3 weeks while I wait for testing 😣 I’m 12 weeks and it was a good fetal fraction.

Hi everyone. I’m due Feb 16 and have been thinking about when I’d have a baby shower. Obviously won’t invite people yet because I’m only 11 weeks, but we will have people traveling so in the next few weeks I want to give an FYI for a save the date. My ideal time falls right around the holidays. I’ll be 28 weeks the week of Thanksgiving and 32 weeks the week of Christmas. I was thinking maybe December 12 when I’d be 30 weeks, but I know that’s a little tough with traveling near the holidays. I’m worried before Thanksgiving would be too early and after Christmas would be too late. For example, if I did 2 weeks before Thanksgiving I’d be 26 weeks and if I did 2 weeks after Christmas I’d be 34 weeks.

What would you do?? I want to enjoy it but I also want people to actually come… one other thing is that it’s my husbands super busy season during November up until December 5th, so if we have family visit he won’t really be able to do anything with them if we do November.

Hi all. I am 9 weeks. I’ve had two miscarriages (8 and 16) so anxiety levels are pretty high. I went on an e bike ride today and we got a late start which ended up having us finish the ride in the hottest part of the day. It’s mid 90s, dry climate. I was fine until about 3/4 of the ride when I started to feel hot like I wanted a break. We stopped in some shade and I made sure to keep up on my water (had already had one 16 oz bottle and a small Gatorade). For the last 1/4 of the ride I turned the e bike up to full assist and just zipped through each spot until I could stop in the shade again. Felt hot 1-2 times but cooled off in the shade. Now I’m all freaked out that I exercised in the heat and could have harmed the baby 😣

I’m not worried enough to call the OB and I didn’t/don’t have any cramping or bleeding but I’m just looking to see if anyone had a similar story and if everything was fine. Have you accidentally overheated in early pregnancy?

I have had an 8 week mmc and a 16 week loss. I’m now 7 weeks and 1 day and am going in for my viability scan today. I can’t help but think something will be wrong. I am on progesterone and have had no spotting or weird cramping, but my brain convinces me that’s only because of the progesterone. I have symptoms like aversions and occasional nausea.. despite these I’m completely convinced this is futile. Has anyone else felt this way and it worked out? Scan is in 4 hours 😬😣

It brings back that heavy devastation when finding out it’s not going to work out. With my first I had intermittent spotting the whole time which increased so we got the scan and it measures 5 weeks. My second was awfully traumatic with a spontaneous home birth. I can’t imagine feeling that way again… I’m terrified.

Hello! I am pregnant and have always dreamed of a trip with an infant (crazy, I know). I love traveling and I know that after about 1 yr it gets really hard for a couple years, so I've always wanted to do one last trip while the baby is mostly potato. I have envisioned going when the baby is around 4-5 months old because he/she will have 2 rounds of shots and hopefully I've have recovered more. We'd probably do England. However, we have a wedding in Spain that we were invited to and it would be right when baby is 7 mo old. As much as I'd love to do both, I'm not sure I can swing that. The wedding is someone my husband knows but if we didn't go, it wouldn't be a huge deal. I mostly wanted to go to the wedding because it's an excuse to go to Spain. Is 4-5 months really that much better than 7 months? Or is 7 actually better? My only concern with 7 is baby might be more mobile and will be eating solids. Our itinerary either way will likely just be site seeing that is really flexible and slow paced.

And yes, I know traveling with babies can be hard etc etc. I plan to make it all refundable/changeable in case life throws a curveball.

I am 4 weeks and 1 day. In January I lost my 16 week baby due to what we thought was recurrent subchorionics. I bled at 7 weeks, then a big bleed at 14 weeks with persisting brown spotting. Had a spontaneous delivery at 16 weeks exactly. 4 mo later here I am. I also had a mmc at 8 weeks in Sept ‘25, baby measured 5 weeks and they didn’t see an embryo so I assume blighted ovum?

I feel slightly reassured that both were different causes and generally considered “flukes”. But what if they weren’t?! Has anyone else had a similar story with a success or currently pregnant? I’m starting progesterone today. Negative work up otherwise after my loss. I did have a dermoid cyst near my right adnexa. There was also a simple cyst on my left ovary but we thought maybe the corpus luteum?

Another odd thing is they thought maybe I had a uterine AVM after the 16 week loss but my OB is skeptical.

Technically yesterday was 14 DPO and my HCG was 214. Recheck is tomorrow.