u/No-Common9210

Hello everyone. In America it is obvious that black mental health is largely ignored. You or someone you know probably struggles with mental health. Maybe you have lost someone to it whether it be a family member a friend or almost yourself. I know I have people in my life who I have watched struggle without support, I have seen their pain and the battle they have fought. I understand how poor mental health can affect someone and how it can put a barrier in your life which stops you from truly living. Recently this is a topic I have been thinking about, it is something that needs attention and needs to be addressed. If you feel the same way as me, and you also want to help our community, I want to start a project. I'm not sure what yet but I want someone to collaborate with. I know many of you have amazing ideas wether this can be a non-profit, a podcast, a support service or even just an informative website the possibilities are endless. If you also want to do something to make an impact please dm me so we can talk more.

Hello everyone. In America it is obvious that black mental health is largely ignored. You or someone you know probably struggles with mental health. Maybe you have lost someone to it whether it be a family member a friend or almost yourself. I know I have people in my life who I have watched struggle without support, I have seen their pain and the battle they have fought. I understand how poor mental health can affect someone and how it can put a barrier in your life which stops you from truly living. Recently this is a topic I have been thinking about, it is something that needs attention and needs to be addressed. If you feel the same way as me, and you also want to help our community, I want to start a project. I'm not sure what yet but I want someone to collaborate with. I know many of you have amazing ideas wether this can be a non-profit, a podcast, a support service or even just an informative website the possibilities are endless. If you also want to do something to make an impact please dm me so we can talk more.

So I go to a really tough private school where everyone is super smart. I've been going there since elementary. Pretty much every kid ends up going to a really really good school like most of the class in T30s and above. The thing is though I'm not doing well right now, I think i'll end this semester with like a 3.0. Its better than every other semester (this is the end of my sophomore year) but its still not good. All my friends have higher grades than me and I feel like such a failure. My parents spend all this money for me to get these kinds of grades. I feel like im not going to get into a good college and I'll feel like I've just waisted so much time. I never can do anything on time, I study for test almost always the day before and I can never just do things right. I really don't want to go to my college counselor next year cause I know when I tell her where I want to go she'll say i can't get in anywhere. I plan for junior year to get a 4.0 both semesters and do really well on the SAT. But Im scared I'll just fall back into the same patterns and not get into any of the colleges I want. This guilt, shame and fear have consumed me for the past like two months and i'm really upset about it.

So I go to a really tough private school where everyone is super smart. I've been going there since elementary. Pretty much every kid ends up going to a really really good school like most of the class in T30s and above. The thing is though I'm not doing well right now, I think i'll end this semester with like a 3.0. Its better than every other semester (this is the end of my sophomore year) but its still not good. All my friends have higher grades than me and I feel like such a failure. My parents spend all this money for me to get these kinds of grades. I feel like im not going to get into a good college and I'll feel like I've just waisted so much time. I never can do anything on time, I study for test almost always the day before and I can never just do things right. I really don't want to go to my college counselor next year cause I know when I tell her where I want to go she'll say i can't get in anywhere. I plan for junior year to get a 4.0 both semesters and do really well on the SAT. But Im scared I'll just fall back into the same patterns and not get into any of the colleges I want. This guilt, shame and fear have consumed me for the past like two months and i'm really upset about it.

Ok so I want to get into T30's plus Spelman and maybe FAMU (two prestigious HBCU's) schools the only issue is at the end of my sophmore year my uw gpa is around a 2.7. I know this is bad I've heard it 1000 times and I've told myself this 1000 times you don't need to tell me. The reasons are as follows:

- The BIGGEST reason is because I don't go to a regular high school, I got to a very rigorous and prestigious private high school where most everyone goes to at least T30's. The curriculum is very difficult and my weighted GPA right now would be around like a 3.4. It's genuinely soul crushing being in this environment. acceptance rate is around 7%.

- The second reason is because I didn't really try to hard for the last two years, I've picked it up since Freshmen year but it's still not great. I have some issue relating to anxiety and that has definitely not helped. I am nervous all the time which keeps me from being able to sit down and just do things. I'm finally getting some help for it.

Now that you get my reasons here is what I plan to do to fix it/make up for it on applications:

- High SAT and ACT score iv'e started studying and I plan to get a 1500+ on my SAT's

- I am not stupid or talentless as you may think. I am an talented piano player, I play jazz and classical (mostly jazz) and I plan to major in something to do with that. Spelman is where I'd go if I had the chance right now and if you want to go to go into their arts program they let you submit an art supplement along with your application, I will be doing that. Anywhere I apply I will try and emphasize this.

- I will get a 4.0 all of my junior year. I have heard upward trends are good.

- I have good EC's in addition to music

- I will be applying early decision to somewhere, this should help.

- I know I can write a really great essay and maybe explain some of this

- As a hail marry I'm going to apply to Upenn cause I'm a legacy there, It probably will not work but no harm in trying

I need anything I can get please offer me advice, if you just want to tell me i'm cooked thats fine I guess but I don't know why you'd read all this to tell me that.

I had never really listened to Miles Davis' later funk stuff so I started listening to on the corner and ts is deadass just noise pollution. I love Miles Davis so much, I have 'Round about midnight on vinyl, but I was listening to One and One I think and I just turned it off it was hurting my head. I looked through the songs on the album and I see the longest song on there is 32 fucking minutes. If yall ever want to torture me make me listen to that. Ugh happy birthday Miles.