u/No-Eye-258

So I have a question. I’ve had this friend for about a decade, and I know he had feelings for me back in 2009–2011. He’s never been my type and I’ve never had feelings for him, but it makes me wonder whether men who get friend‑zoned ever actually lose those feelings or if they just bury them.

For context — this same friend married us in 2021, we lived together for 10 months, and we recently had to ask him to leave our home because of his own behaviour and ended up taking advantage of us. Not hypothetical question and not hypothetical situation.

So do men who have been friend - zoned ever move on from those feelings?

We recently had to ask our 41‑year‑old roommate to move out because he refused to clean, treated our dog terribly, and kept his room in such a disgusting, mold‑like state that the entire house started to smell.

He moved out on Wednesday, but he left some belongings behind. We told him he is not allowed on our property without permission and that any pickup must be at a time confirmed by me. Today he showed up anyway—completely ignoring what we told him and doing it purely for his own convenience. I told him that if he does this again, we will trespass him, which in Canada can come with a fine of up to $10,000.

This isn’t new behaviour. He has never respected boundaries, not just ours. We gave him a simple, reasonable expectation list for the short time before he moved out, and he ignored every single thing on it. These weren’t extreme rules—they were basic adult responsibilities: clean up after yourself, put dirty dishes in the dishwasher, ask where things go instead of dumping items randomly, and clean his snake enclosure regularly. So would I be an asshole for trespassing him?

We’ve been more than fair, and he’s 41 years old acting like a teenager who’s never lived on his own. At this point, enforcing boundaries is the only thing we want.

For those saying we are an asshole if we do this, please read our other post.https://www.reddit.com/r/roommateproblems/s/oxEeJvQ9h9

Edit - also thank you for those agreeing with us. We have given him many warnings before this, he does not care.

law article and it is that simple for trespassing. Got the amounts wrong but still

Trespass on private property in Alberta is governed by two separate acts, the Trespass to Premises Act and the Petty Trespass Act. Both deal with trespass in a simple way.  Trespass is prohibited if an individual is told by the owner not to trespass or if a poster or sign states that no trespass it permitted.  If the owner tells someone not to trespass, it can be either orally or in writing and it can be before or during an incident of trespass.  Any signs prohibiting trespassers must be at each corner of land and at any entries to the land.
The punishment for trespass is a fine not exceeding $2000 for the first time. For second and subsequent offenses, the fine shall not exceed $5000.  Remember, these fees will only apply if the individual trespasser knows they are trespassing.  Being proactive and putting up signs is what the law wants.

Would you be okay if a roommate — who’s already shown zero respect for your property — just took your keys and let himself into your shed without asking? Especially when you literally just had a break‑in and he knows about it. Every other time he’s asked for access. He doesn’t have his own set of keys because he’s a roommate, not a co‑owner, and the keys stay with us. He’s renting a room in our home, and yeah, we were long‑time friends, but his recent behaviour shows he doesn’t care about boundaries or basic respect.

We gave him 45 days but at the rate he’s going police might be involved and will be out in 14 days.

Edit - rant and question - see previous post
https://www.reddit.com/r/roommateproblems/s/qFuGLVvDKK

I’m introducing new products to my store and need to figure out the best way to ship hats. I normally use poly mailers, but I don’t think they’ll work here.

We asked our roommate to move out because of how he’s treated our home, our dog, and several other issues. His idea of “respect” now is talking to our dog and asking how she’s doing, which completely misses the point. Respect means not shooing her away, not riding her to keep her still, and using basic common sense — not performing friendliness.

He did finally get rid of the snake, thankfully, but he still makes us uncomfortable in our own house because he lacks basic awareness. I even had to tell him to stop asking whether he should lock the door when he leaves at 8:30 p.m. He works nights. He’s 41. This shouldn’t need explaining.

He asked if we’d still be friends after he moves out, but honestly, at this point, the answer is no.