u/No-Meet4936

When you know money or begging the universe won’t change anything

My agoraphobia is not panic related it’s related to a very specific type of ocd which I won’t mention because I don’t want it to trigger anyone

But I just can’t go on any longer

I have lost my job I worked so hard for

My marriage is ending because I have not been able to maintain the stable family life I was always able to - my husband can’t cope that I’m a shell of the person I was. He has turned further to drink and cocaine

I can’t even go out and do any ‘normal’ things like go to the shops, meet friends for a coffee, go to a softplay with my son

My husband took him to see his grandparents today, he ended up leaving him there and went out drinking, I’ve had to sit at home all day just waiting for him to come home

I hate being this pathetic person. This has taken everything from me.

My family are tired of it. Can’t understand how I can’t just get back to who I was. I spent 5 weeks inpatient last year.

This week I walked off in the night, found a field to sit in and cried for hours looking at the stars and being bitter at the universe

Hi

I have a son who is 8. He has cochlear implants, a speech impediment, adhd and school have just said they think he has dyslexia.

He is a bright kid - vocabulary above his age, enjoys history, geography type lessons at school and he’s social and popular but not one of the footie boys if you know what I mean

Just finished year 3 and it went well - year 2 was a s hit show before adhd meds. But the gap in his literacy has widened and he’s now 3 years behind. Hence the dyslexia suggestion as his adhd was way better managed but he didn’t catch up as much as his teacher thought.

He has an EHCP. It is up for review in September. I am going to ask to have referrals to 2 independent schools which cater for adhd, dyslexia, autism - they are both very close to us.

I am worried in mainstream that although he is a social child that the learning gap is getting big and it’s causing him frustration and possibly going to make him feel even more different. His primary school also doesn’t feed into one school, kids generally end up at 4 different schools so continuation of friendships is also an issue.

His best friend who is a lovely boy I don’t believe will even stay in the area. The primary schools are much better than the senior schools and his mum made a comment about moving before big school. His dad is a doctor and his mum is a dentist - both first gen immigrants and very keen on achievement in academics. So I don’t even think he would have his bff going into seniors.

The independent schools run up until 16

Any pros or cons from anyone with experience in these type of settings

I am on long term sick. I don’t think I will be able to return to my role or another role.

I am really upset about this as I worked there for 20 years and did my chartered accountant qualifications there and got a few promotions along the way to reach manager grade. I work for a UK bank.

But I am still struggling with mental illness that meant I had an inpatient stay last year for 5 weeks and on 3 medications right now etc.

I have been off sick now since April 2025 and I fully expect my employer to want to dismiss me when my current fit note runs out in December.

Is it likely I will be dismissed at that point or is there likely more procedure to go through before they get to that point? I am conscious my team are still a person down and not able to recruit while I am still on sick but the person I spoke to about ESA which I have just started to claim said do not resign. Follow due process with my firm.

Won’t say the type of ocd as don’t want to trigger anyone

My whole life has fell apart. I have been in a psych ward for 5 weeks, been on multiple meds, therapy

I have had mental health issues my whole life but this is different.

I have so much to live for but can’t live I’m just existing. It’s horrible, I’m in Groundhog Day. I’ve got no job now (had to leave my accountancy role in a bank) can’t see my friends due to the ocd, can’t enjoy anything.

I have an 8 year old son. I loved my life with him, life isn’t perfect but I cherished it. He’s deaf and has adhd and dyslexia. He’s such a loving and happy child

I have no personality left. I was a good family member, a good friend, a good mum. I had a zest for life and although my anxiety held me back often I still loved my life.

I’m now a ghost. I don’t want to die but I can’t live life this unwell.

Developed sensorimotor ocd about saliva 10 months a go. Have been on many drugs, in a psych unit for 5 weeks (voluntary patient after attempt) have been having therapy with an ocd specialist.

I’m done. I have no life. My brain is torturing me constantly where saliva feels like it’s pooling in my mouth.

I had swallowing ocd in the past which I managed to get over because that wasn’t something which gave me social anxiety. It was annoying and frustrating but I did stuff despite it and it faded. I’ve also had a few others like that - itching, the way my body felt, hyperawareness of thoughts. But all of these weren’t life shattering to me. Feeling like you are on the edge of drooling, feeling like you constantly have to monitor something, it feels unbearable and I feel hopeless.

I’ve been off work for over a year now. I first went off with a bit of an anxiety breakdown…and then when I thought I was turning a corner a few months later the ocd came in.

I’ve tried to be brave. I’m volunteering 3 days a week at a farm. But everyday is Groundhog Day. I am not living im existing. I try to do things with my family but it’s painful. I look at pictures and realise how far I am from that existence.

Despite my mental health issues before this, I had a family, a beautiful son, friends, a good job as an accountant for a bank, friends, holidays, trips. Anxiety was always part of my life and i might not have had as free a life as my friends. But I had a life.

I’m getting to the point of extreme hopelessness. OCD has truly stolen my peace, my life and my happiness. I’m not willing to live like this.