u/NoRadio4530

Going to start off by saying that I mean platonic people in my life. My dating profile saying either LTR or life partner and have never been questioned by men on that. They just ignore it lol.

So I (30F) have had several conversations where, when I tell people that I would like to be married one day, they give me a sort of... look. They seem surprised and I can tell that they don't think that's a good approach to dating or something. It makes me feel pathetic but isn't that the point for most people in society still? To build a life with one person?

I've suspected I may be on the spectrum but cannot afford the tests so if there is some secret where we all date casually and then, under the radar, try to lure someone into a relationship instead of just being honest then please do let me know!

Has anyone else experienced this? I was the girl that had her first boyfriend in grade 1 and basically never stopped dating until I was 25 when an abusive relationship changed my life for the worst. Now a lot of people in my life know me as the chronically single friend rather than the hopeless-romantic-loyal-banana-bread-baddie that I really am. I feel pathetic and tired. So so so tired.

I (30F) went on a date on Sunday and I thought it went pretty well but he told me last night that he doesn't see me as long term relationship potential. He was keen on hanging out again but didn't want to string me along, knowing that I'm looking for long term.

I truly appreciate him telling me because I tend to be very naive(Wow! Surprise, surprise!) and think that people have my same morals and values and best interests in mind when they really don't.

I'm actually super bummed about it because, although it wasn't perfect, I was excited to see him again! I didn't bother asking what his reason was but it's obviously something about my personality or lifestyle choices. The part that's bothering me the most, and related to the title, is that he talked a lottttt and even when he did ask a few questions it wasn't long before he interrupted me again and went on another monologue.

It's honestly women with strong personalities as well but I find men really take the reigns on the energy and dynamic of an interaction and I feel like I wasn't allowed to be my full and authentic self on the date.

I don't know how to keep living life with the feeling that other people are always in control of the narrative :(

A bunch of folks I work with that went to school together got hired on and over the years we've ended up hiring like 8 of these people. They're pretty cool for the most part but they can be sooo cliquey and annoying at times - standing around talking, being rude to new staff, taking forever to do closing tasks because they're messing around, always talking about their group plans after work because they're in the same clubs, ect.

There's kind of this undertone that they run the show and I've found it to be pretty irritating in the past year because it feels really school-age. Before they were all hired the dynamic was a bit more balanced and felt like a job instead of highschool.

I know that a lot of us don't grow up, no matter what industry, but I'm just wondering how many other restaurants have this sort of dynamic? A lot of people I've worked with at this particular place have been incredibly immature over the years and I'm wondering if this place just attracts that type. We're all late 20's btw.

It was a first date from hinge and the guy (35M) mentioned something about the run clubs in our city having turned into dating events. I (30F) said that my previous roommate went to some of those and didn't recommend them because they were like 80% women. The guy proceeded to jokingly ask which exact run club that was, hinting that he's interested because there's lots of women.

Earlier in the date as well he made a comment about the industry that I'm studying for. This industry is 95% male dominated and when I told him I'm lisenced he said, "It's pretty easy to get, right?" Idk maybe it was just him not knowing anything about what it actually takes but I can't help but take it as a slight dig.

Am I wrong to be put off by these? I've been chronically single for 5 years now and have been trying to recognize my own patterns in order to change them but holy fuck men give me the ick so easily.

Got my PPL a few months ago and will be time building and doing cross countries from here on out. I've been really anxious and frankly, too lazy, to take passengers up with me but my instructor is pushing for it. I took my first passenger up last week and everything went well but it's too much work imo.

I have to pick them up, drive us out to the airport, explain everything, do a proper passenger briefing, answer tons of questions, show them landmarks(fun part), make sure they're feeling okay throughout the flight and easing any anxieties, ect.

Did anyone else feel this way during training? It's so much more exhausting than just hopping in the plane by myself or with another CPL student.

I've worked in food and beverage for 12 years now and I've always been a very calm and understanding person but after COVID and being at my current place for 5 years I noticed that I've gained some horrible traits.

I'm easily irritable now even when I'm not at work, customers piss me off within the first 10 minutes most days, I'm less accommodating, I'm always complaining to coworkers, and just completely drained emotionally by the end of the day and have little left for interactions outside of work.

I don't hate my job, though. The team is alright and pay and schedule are good. It's fast paced brunch and our customers are like babies that can't read the menu by themselves. I'm tired of explaining what basic ingredients are. A lot of our clientele are tourists and I never thought I'd say this, ever, but I cannot deal with the language barrier anymore and constantly having to repeat myself or overly-simplify my vocabulary.

Has anyone found anything that helps them or am I cooked at this point? Been trying to leave the industry for years but I'm stuck here until I'm done school. I relax on my days off and come into work happy but customers literally ruin it within minutes lol

I'm 30 and working on my commercial license right now but not sure if I want to continue. I'm single right now but would love to have a family one day and I'm not sure I can handle being away multiple nights a week.

I also have an affinity toward helping others and would really love to teach others how to fly but it seems like a lot of instructors aren't happy. I'm not sure if this is because they're annoyed that they're not where they want to be yet or if instructing really is that bad.

I make >50k right now so if the pay is anywhere near that I'm okay with it. The instructors at my school seem to have decent control over their daily schedules and get all major holidays off, are home every night, ect.

I'd love to know if anyone is sticking with instructing in Canada and actually enjoy it? Is it naive of me to think that I could instruct for several years and then apply for a jet job if/when I feel ready?

I (30F) was always the relationship oriented girly but now I've been single for 5 years. The first couple years were great with healing and not having to compromise with an unreasonable man but I'm at the point where I feel like I genuinely can't do this shit alone anymore.

I basically have no family. I only text with my mother about twice a month and it's very surface level stuff. The rest of my family I'm basically estranged from due to abuse growing up. I've tried so hard to make meaningful friendships but everyone just prioritizes romantic relationships. I'm no ones favourite person. I do everything alone. I work full time, I'm in school for something really cool, have hobbies, exercise, ect.

Last year I realized that the only way I will ever have a family is if I make one myself because the family I was born into was awful and I've tried to be more intentional and proactive about relationships but just can't find anyone I'm compatible with. I downloaded hinge again last week and it's so depressing.

I wish I could just lobotomize the part of my brain that wants connection.

I'm not sure if neurotypical people think that reality tv like Love Island or Too Hot To Handle are based in reality? I feel like conversations and relationships between these people feel completely faked and foreign.

Does anyone else feel like this? I feel like I have a disconnect from these people/shows. Their emotions and relationships feel ridiculous to me.

I (31F) finished my PPL earlier this year and got my night rating but lately I've really been feeling like I don't have what it takes.

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I don't really want to grind and spend 10's of thousands more to finish commercial and instructing. I paid for everything myself and it was really hard. Where I live about 50% of flights get cancelled due to weather and I'm not sure I have the stamina to fly multiple times a day as an instructor anyway.

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Did anyone pursue a different line of work in the aviation industry or just keep their PPL and join a club for fun? I don't have a degree, only 12 years of customer service under my belt. I've thought of maybe airline scheduling with the local flights here as I hear benefits are decent.

I (30F) went from realizing how weird and absent my family was as a teenager, to accepting their flaws in my 20's, to now extreme resentment and coming to the realization that everyone in my family has neglected me.

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I understand that it's mostly my fault that I'm 30, single, living with roommates and overall struggling but my family never offered me any proper support after like age 10. I found my first job by myself, bought my first car by myself, went through an abusive breakup by myself, and have been paying 10's of thousands for school by myself trying to improve my life and my family just... hasn't been present for any of it. Like, I'm single and living in in a very expensive city and they just don't care?

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I have friends who were gifted their grandparents homes, parents offered to pay for 50% of their education, parents enjoying going on vacation with their kids, ect. My family just doesn't *do anything*. They don't talk about anything that matters, don't host dinners or get-togethers, don't actually ask me how I am.

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I'm wondering if this is common for other adults/women? I think most people I see enjoy spending time with their parents, even if the relationship isn't perfect. The resentment and feeling abandoned is eating me alive lately.

I've been at my current place for about 6 years now and in the industry for 10 years.

My current place has perks like changing shifts easily, with seniority I can pick the exact days I want, the team is overall pretty cool and hardworking, ect. But the cracks started to show a few years ago and I've noticed lots of the employees here are drinkin the kool-aid, so to speak.

A few things that bother me:

1. FOH doesn't get any free food or beverages. We pay 50% for everything, even if that's more than cost. BOH gets free everything.

2. BOH gets 30% of our gratuities.

3. There's no training for servers. Assistants and food runners are just thrown into the role without a knowledge test and make the same tips as senior servers but senior servers have to pick up all the slack.

4. Calling in sick is the greatest offence in history. It would be less offensive to burn the owners house down.

5. No staff parties or staff appreciation events. Owner used to throw fun parties previously but is too cheap now. The restuarant gets awards every year and only ever a verbal "thank you" from him. Dude, some of your employees have stayed here for 6+ years, stop being a verbal tipper to your own staff.

Just want a reality check because I don't know if things are better or worse out there and I'm nervous to find out. I'm used to places allowing free food or AT LEAST free beverages for staff, and I've only ever worked at small local places.

I just feel like the bottom of the barrel of society with no healthcare, no paid time off, no actual perks or benefits, no staff parties or social events, ect.

I purchased a 2021 EX a few months ago and I'm disappointed in the fuel economy so far. My 2011 Ford was getting 7L/100km and my civic has been getting 7.5L.

I do mostly highway driving - 32km on highway and 4km in the city each way so around 80%-90% highway.

I still love my civic but was hoping for 6L or at least better than the 15 year old car I was driving before since I dropped >20k on this thing.

What are you guys getting?

I read an old post a few days ago from someone who seemed to have experienced a similar childhood to mine and they said their parents would minimize their abuse and neglect by stating they weren't being beaten black and blue and it resurfaced some memories of my own childhood where my parents would say the exact same phrase.

I used to think my mom was so kind because she'd go out of her way to help others and she always gave us gifts and gave us fun birthday parties. Now that I'm 30 I've started to realize that my mom was NOT, in fact, the biggest victim to my dad's abuse, she was an enabler. My dad would yell and throw things and physically intimidate, and sometimes hit us kids and now I remember my mom using the phrase, "It's not that bad. Some kids get beaten black and blue by their parents."

The way this manipulated me as a child to actually think that its not bad just because it could be worse. What the fuck, mom.

Anyone else's parents use this phrase on them? Where on earth did it come from?

I (30F) cut off a good male friend of mine about 7 months ago. We had been friends for 8 years and he's been a real one on occasions where I really needed someone.

However, in the last few years he's been saying some increasingly sexist rhetoric and didn't see the point in arguing with him so I just ghosted him but I'm really mourning the friendship.

What he's said:

1. In regards to women not wanting to pay for dates: "I've been socialized to trash women, it's sad but it's true. Through highschool, through college, calling people sluts ect. I expected to change and I did. I don't think it's a big deal to expect women to change too."

2. In regards to attraction: "One step to overcoming looking for signs of fertility as a man is to try and ask her questions to find something more interesting than her boobs as quick as possible. That's why we don't stare at our female friends. We've already attributed value to other things."

3. In regards to women not putting in effort on dates: "Women always expect us to pay on the first dates, expect us to wait for what they may have given someone else on the first date, jump in if there's danger, and carry the conversation a lot of the time."

Has anyone else had to cut off a male friend like this before? I know it's probably not worth it to maintain a friendship with someone like this but he didn't reveal this side of himself until 6 years into our friendship.