u/No_Mousse5176

My divorce should be final before end of month. I took a long weekend trip to see my best friend to get out of my head for a bit and it worked. But now I’m coming home and sitting in the airport crying. Why is this happening? I swear I’m a good person so why is this happening to me? I look at every married person now and wonder why they are better than me. I’m angry and hopeless and sad. It’s not his fault that he is sick.

I (37F) filed for divorce about two months ago. My husband (37M) and I have been together for over ten years and been married for eight. He was preliminarily diagnosed bipolar schizophrenic but he is also a heavy marijuana smoker so they werent sure if he has BP or if the marijuana is inducing a psychosis of some sort. I've posted before about this being the most difficult thing I've done. I thought I was getting "better" but the past two weeks have just had me gone back to crying all the time and not being able to get out of bed most days. This is truly the most painful think I have ever experienced. I feel like I'm losing my best friend and my soulmate. My friends and family are being very supportive and tell me I'm making the right decision because he isnt trying to get help at all. In fact, I was trying to keep this entire thing under wraps from my friends/family but he forced my hand by calling my parents and telling me to get out. Ever since then, I'm stuck in a cycle of "what if." What if he gets better and returns to the person he was? What if this is the wrong choice? What if this hurts so badly because this is the wrong thing to do and the universe is making me pay for it? Has anyone been through a similar situation? I just needs some words of encouragement because I feel so lost right now and losing my person might quite literally kill me. I thought I had found my person, and now I'm back to being no ones number one. That's a hard pill to swallow.

My husband started smoking weed four years ago to help with his aggression. It turned into him smoking non-stop. He quit his job (we agreed) with the goal that he would find something he was truly passionate about and start a journey towards that whether he would work or go back to school. This didnt happen and instead he would smoke all day everyday. He would not help around the house until I absolutely begged him to and even then he would tell me what he did and say "i did what you asked for, master." To be fair, there were moments when he would do things without me asking. He started spending so much money that it became stressful for me - like over 10k one year on food delivery. He ended up having a break from reality and insisted that he was God and that we all live in a simulation. He even bought a tent and said he would go live on the beach as to not participate in society anymore. I was worried he would hurt himself and he checked himself into a facility where he was diagnosed with bipolar schizophrenia. After looking it up and speaking to his doctors, his family and I agree that this is logical because he goes through periods of mania and will not sleep for DAYS. When he came out, he agreed to go to therapy and we ended up only going a handful of times before he said we didnt need it anymore. I ended up applying for jobs for him (with his permission) and he landed a job for about three months. He ended up quitting though because he couldnt handle the people, the commute, and basically working in general. He also refused to take any medication that was prescribed to him because he said he was fine and the smoking continued to increase. I try to get him to go out but he never wants to leave the house and doesnt like it when I invite people over. This behavior only got worse when he entered another manic period and continued to think he is God and that I am "dead" and am haunting him. I told him if he continues that I would need to leave because I can't take the emotional whiplash anymore. He gets road rage in cars and thinks people are following him. I was hoping that he would realize I was serious and get help but he told me to leave and called my parents and told them I was hurting myself which forced my hand to come clean about everything. He said he wasnt going to change and if I didnt like it then I needed to leave. I've been staying with my parents for a month now with no contact and I'm moving forward with the divorce. This is so incredibly hard and I'm in agony. I guess I'm on here just trying to get information if anyone has been through something similar? I love him so much and this is killing me. I'm not sleeping or eating. I'm crying all the time. My body is in physical pain and I'm so confused if I'm making the right decision. We've been together for over a decade and I dont know how to live without him. Can someone please tell me if I'm making the wrong decision? What if he decides to get better and I'm not there for him? What if he gets hurt? I dont want my marriage to end and I know its supposed to be for better or for worse, but I can't make him do his part; does this make me a bad wife? Am I just giving up on him?

tl/dr: Am I abandoning my best friend?

My husband started smoking weed four years ago to help with his aggression. It turned into him smoking non-stop. He quit his job (we agreed) with the goal that he would find something he was truly passionate about and start a journey towards that whether he would work or go back to school. This didnt happen and instead he would smoke all day everyday. He would not help around the house until I absolutely begged him to and even then he would tell me what he did and say "i did what you asked for, master." To be fair, there were moments when he would do things without me asking. He started spending so much money that it became stressful for me - like over 10k one year on food delivery. He ended up having a break from reality and insisted that he was God and that we all live in a simulation. He even bought a tent and said he would go live on the beach as to not participate in society anymore. I was worried he would hurt himself and he checked himself into a facility where he was diagnosed with bipolar schizophrenia. After looking it up and speaking to his doctors, his family and I agree that this is logical because he goes through periods of mania and will not sleep for DAYS. When he came out, he agreed to go to therapy and we ended up only going a handful of times before he said we didnt need it anymore. I ended up applying for jobs for him (with his permission) and he landed a job for about three months. He ended up quitting though because he couldnt handle the people, the commute, and basically working in general. He also refused to take any medication that was prescribed to him because he said he was fine and the smoking continued to increase. I try to get him to go out but he never wants to leave the house and doesnt like it when I invite people over. This behavior only got worse when he entered another manic period and continued to think he is God and that I am "dead" and am haunting him. I told him if he continues that I would need to leave because I can't take the emotional whiplash anymore. He gets road rage in cars and thinks people are following him. I was hoping that he would realize I was serious and get help but he told me to leave and called my parents and told them I was hurting myself which forced my hand to come clean about everything. He said he wasnt going to change and if I didnt like it then I needed to leave. I've been staying with my parents for a month now with no contact and I'm moving forward with the divorce. This is so incredibly hard and I'm in agony. I guess I'm on here just trying to get information if anyone has been through something similar? I love him so much and this is killing me. I'm not sleeping or eating. I'm crying all the time. My body is in physical pain and I'm so confused if I'm making the right decision. We've been together for over a decade and I dont know how to live without him. Can someone please tell me if I'm making the wrong decision? What if he decides to get better and I'm not there for him? What if he gets hurt? I dont want my marriage to end and I know its supposed to be for better or for worse, but I can't make him do his part; does this make me a bad wife? Am I just giving up on him?

tl/dr: Am I abandoning my best friend?

My husband started smoking weed four years ago to help with his aggression. It turned into him smoking non-stop. He quit his job (we agreed) with the goal that he would find something he was truly passionate about and start a journey towards that whether he would work or go back to school. This didnt happen and instead he would smoke all day everyday. He would not help around the house until I absolutely begged him to and even then he would tell me what he did and say "i did what you asked for, master." To be fair, there were moments when he would do things without me asking. He started spending so much money that it became stressful for me - like over 10k one year on food delivery. He ended up having a break from reality and insisted that he was God and that we all live in a simulation. He even bought a tent and said he would go live on the beach as to not participate in society anymore. I was worried he would hurt himself and he checked himself into a facility where he was diagnosed with bipolar schizophrenia. After looking it up and speaking to his doctors, his family and I agree that this is logical because he goes through periods of mania and will not sleep for DAYS. When he came out, he agreed to go to therapy and we ended up only going a handful of times before he said we didnt need it anymore. I ended up applying for jobs for him (with his permission) and he landed a job for about three months. He ended up quitting though because he couldnt handle the people, the commute, and basically working in general. He also refused to take any medication that was prescribed to him because he said he was fine and the smoking continued to increase. I try to get him to go out but he never wants to leave the house and doesnt like it when I invite people over. This behavior only got worse when he entered another manic period and continued to think he is God and that I am "dead" and am haunting him. I told him if he continues that I would need to leave because I can't take the emotional whiplash anymore. He gets road rage in cars and thinks people are following him. I was hoping that he would realize I was serious and get help but he told me to leave and called my parents and told them I was hurting myself which forced my hand to come clean about everything. He said he wasnt going to change and if I didnt like it then I needed to leave. I've been staying with my parents for a month now with no contact and I'm moving forward with the divorce. This is so incredibly hard and I'm in agony. I guess I'm on here just trying to get information if anyone has been through something similar? I love him so much and this is killing me. I'm not sleeping or eating. I'm crying all the time. My body is in physical pain and I'm so confused if I'm making the right decision. We've been together for over a decade and I dont know how to live without him. Can someone please tell me if I'm making the wrong decision? What if he decides to get better and I'm not there for him? What if he gets hurt? I dont want my marriage to end and I know its supposed to be for better or for worse, but I can't make him do his part; does this make me a bad wife? Am I just giving up on him?

tl/dr: Am I abandoning my best friend?

Does anyone know of an antique/vintage/estate jeweler in the Arizona region that is brick and mortar? Am wanting to go into a shop and search instead of just online. The online store that I’m trying to find something similar to is Maejean (on YouTube and Etsy) but again wanting something in person.