u/No_Theory_8428

I've been having a hard time with this and I guess I just want to know how other people dealt with it.

I was talking to this guy and we really connected. We weren't officially together or anything, but it was becoming something. He was an introvert, a loner, and he opened up to me about a lot of things. He told me there wasn't really much joy in his life at the moment and that he felt like his life had no direction.

We started just talking, then calling, and eventually it became something I looked forward to every day. We would talk about random things, personal things, make each other laugh. You get used to someone being there.

Then we had one conversation that got a bit heated. It wasn't even some massive fight. The next day he told me he needed time to think.

And then nothing.

I know he said he needed time, so maybe this isn't technically ghosting yet. I don't know. But going from talking all the time to complete silence feels horrible.

I think what I'm struggling with is just... how do people do that?

How do you talk to someone so much, open up to them, make all these little memories together and then suddenly you're just not there anymore?

And I hate admitting it but it really hurts. I can't concentrate properly. I keep checking my phone and part of me still thinks I'll see his name there.

It also makes me feel like I've failed again somehow. Like I finally thought, hey, maybe something good is happening in my life, and then suddenly it's gone. And now I'm sitting here going through everything in my head wondering what I said, what I did, what I could've done differently.

Maybe he'll message again. Maybe he won't. I really don't know.

I just miss talking to him.

For people who have gone through this, how did you stop waiting for that message? How did you get used to the silence when you were so used to having that person there?

I’ve been looking back at a past relationship and realizing there were things I completely brushed off at the time.

Things I laughed about, made excuses for, or just thought were normal.

It’s weird how differently you can see a relationship once you’re no longer in it.

What was something you didn’t realize was a warning sign until after the relationship ended?

Has anyone developed anxiety about their appearance?

I used to feel like I was cute, or at least most of my life I was told I was. I never really thought this much about my appearance before.

I was in an emotionally abusive relationship though, and my ex would sometimes point out features of mine that weren't flattering or make fun of them. At the time I would just laugh about it, but after we broke up I realized how much it actually affected me.

Now I get really anxious about how I look. Whenever I see photos or videos of myself, sometimes I don't even want to look at them. I look in the mirror and feel like I see someone completely different.

I also find myself looking at other people and thinking everyone looks good except me. Then my mind goes to things like, maybe no one will find me attractive anymore or want to date me.

I started having panic attacks after that relationship too, sometimes with really heart palpitations. I don't know if everything is connected, but that relationship was definitely a major factor in my anxiety.

I just miss how I used to see myself. I feel like some of the happiness and confidence I had is gone.

Has anyone else experienced anxiety like this, especially after someone made you feel bad about your appearance? Did it eventually get better?

I’m 38M and I’ve been talking to this guy who’s 33M. He’s pretty introverted and shy. Based on our conversations, he doesn’t have a lot of friends and he’s also going through a rough patch at the moment. It was hard for him to open up at first, but eventually he did, and I really appreciated that. I also noticed him making an effort and trying to improve certain things, which made me happy.

We ended up connecting a lot more than I expected. We spent two days basically just on video call, talking, doing our own things, lying in bed, and even watching each other fall asleep.

We both talked about getting that butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling with each other. Sometimes during our calls, I’d catch him just looking at me and smiling, and I’d do the same. Those little moments honestly meant a lot to me.

He played songs for me and even wrote a song for me. We’re both hopeless romantics, so I guess we got caught up in that connection pretty quickly.

Then we had a bit of a petty argument. I’ll admit that I can be passive aggressive sometimes when something bothers me, and I know that’s something I need to work on.

Yesterday we didn’t talk because he told me he needed some time to think. I told him I understood and that he should take the time he needs and take care of himself.

I know I should respect that, so I’m not messaging him right now. But I miss him. I miss hearing his voice and just having him there.

I haven’t felt this kind of connection with someone in a long time. He seems like a genuinely good guy, and for the first time in a while, I’ve met someone I genuinely don’t want to lose.

I don’t want to pressure him, especially when he asked for space. At the same time, I don’t want to lose something that felt genuinely special over one argument.

I guess I’m just wondering, when someone asks for time to think, how do you know when to give them space and when it’s okay to reach out and let them know you still care?

I’m 38M and I’ve been talking to this guy who’s 33M. He’s pretty introverted and shy. Based on our conversations, he doesn’t have a lot of friends and he’s also going through a rough patch at the moment. It was hard for him to open up at first, but eventually he did, and I really appreciated that. I also noticed him making an effort and trying to improve certain things, which made me happy.

We ended up connecting a lot more than I expected. We spent two days basically just on video call, talking, doing our own things, lying in bed, and even watching each other fall asleep.

We both talked about getting that butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling with each other. Sometimes during our calls, I’d catch him just looking at me and smiling, and I’d do the same. Those little moments honestly meant a lot to me.

He played songs for me and even wrote a song for me. We’re both hopeless romantics, so I guess we got caught up in that connection pretty quickly.

Then we had a bit of a petty argument. I’ll admit that I can be passive aggressive sometimes when something bothers me, and I know that’s something I need to work on.

Yesterday we didn’t talk because he told me he needed some time to think. I told him I understood and that he should take the time he needs and take care of himself.

I know I should respect that, so I’m not messaging him right now. But I miss him. I miss hearing his voice and just having him there.

I haven’t felt this kind of connection with someone in a long time. He seems like a genuinely good guy, and for the first time in a while, I’ve met someone I genuinely don’t want to lose.

I don’t want to pressure him, especially when he asked for space. At the same time, I don’t want to lose something that felt genuinely special over one argument.

I guess I’m just wondering, when someone asks for time to think, how do you know when to give them space and when it’s okay to reach out and let them know you still care?

Hi! I'm 38M and looking to make a friend, or just meet someone who can help me learn French. I think it'd be more enjoyable and motivating to practice with someone who actually speaks the language.

A little about me: I enjoy watching films, going for walks, trying different foods, and just relaxing. I'm easygoing and always up for a good conversation. If you're patient and don't mind helping someone learn, feel free to say hi!

Lately I've been struggling with this thought: is there really someone out there for me?

I've(38M) always been a hopeless romantic. I know that probably sounds cheesy, but I've always believed in finding someone who genuinely wants to build a life together. Lately, though, it feels like I'm searching for something that's becoming harder and harder to find.

Recently, I started chatting with someone online who lived in a different time zone. Despite that, we talked a lot, and I genuinely thought we were building a connection. He even told me he didn't believe in ghosting. That's probably what hurt the most, because one day, he just disappeared without any explanation. I cried over someone I never even met in person, which made me realize how much hope I'd invested in the possibility of us.

I've noticed the same pattern with a lot of people I meet online. Many say they're looking for something meaningful or a serious relationship, but once the conversation starts, it feels like I'm the one carrying it. I'm always asking questions, trying to get to know them, and keeping things going. After a while, it becomes exhausting. I can't help but wonder how someone expects to find a meaningful connection if they aren't willing to put in the effort to build one.

I think part of this also comes from my previous relationship. I was with someone who was narcissistic, and even though it's over, it left me doubting myself in ways I'm still trying to work through.

At the end of the day, I don't think I'm asking for anything extraordinary. I just want someone who's there for me. Someone who's excited to talk to me, checks in, communicates, and makes me feel like we're choosing each other every day.

Maybe I'm just in a rough season, but I'd really like to hear from people who felt this way once and don't anymore. What changed?

I've been using dating apps lately to try and connect with people, but it feels like most conversations only last a day or two before they fade away.

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I'm the type of person who genuinely enjoys getting to know someone. I ask questions, try to keep the conversation flowing, and take an interest in who they are. But when all I get back are one-word replies like "ok," "maybe," or "lol," and they never ask anything in return, I eventually stop trying. After a while, I start wondering what the point is. Sometimes I even joke, "You know, you can ask me a question too."

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Then there are the people who are only looking for hookups. There's nothing wrong with that if both people want the same thing, but it's not really what I'm looking for.

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Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I still believe in getting excited when you see someone's message pop up. I still believe in long conversations, butterflies, learning someone's favorite movie, hearing about their day, and slowly building a real connection.

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Honestly, I don't think I'm asking for anything extraordinary.

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I just want someone who's there at the end of the day to ask, "How was your day?" Someone to cuddle with when you're tired, make stupid jokes with, and laugh together until your stomach hurts. Someone to go on walks with, share little adventures with, and enjoy both the exciting moments and the ordinary ones.

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Sometimes, I wonder if there are still people who believe in something a little magical.

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Not fairy tales or perfect love, but that feeling of meeting someone and genuinely wanting to know them. Someone who's excited to hear from you, asks questions back, and wants to build something instead of always looking for the next option.

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Maybe that sounds naive or delusional to some people, but I still like to think those people exist.

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Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic, but one can hope.

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Does anyone else feel this way?

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