u/Ok-Camp-9504

Hello everyone! I am a breastfeeding mom ( been breastfeeding for 12 months now) and there is a lump in my right armpit which is there for 16 months (from last trimester of pregnancy). When I first breastfed by baby she couldn’t latch properly and my breasts were full and the milk couldn’t come out. So I noticed my breasts got lumpy and very painful. This is normal I know.
I got my armpit checked and the doctor told me it will go away on its own nothing to worry about. It is just a benign lump.
But I am worried now. Because it’s been a year since I first started breastfeeding and the lump isn’t gone.
Can someone guide me is it normal?? Any similar experience??

It’s been a year since these events happened but my memory and trauma is still the same.
It is a long story but I will try to explain everything in simple words and try to keep it short.
I live abroad with my husband and a one year old. My baby was born 2 weeks before due date so my MIL arrived 3 days later my delivery.
My MIL visited us for my delivery and postpartum. What looked like “help” was beyond anything but help. She constantly criticized every move I made, regularly gave me taunts, and would bad mouth about me to my husband.
I had a really difficult pregnancy. Was diagnosed with HG so I couldn’t drink or eat anything properly for 9 months. I was constantly vomiting for 9 freaking months and lost 8 KGs in two weeks of pregnancy. Anyways, I was hospitalized multiple times during first trimester and only survived on biscuits and raw cornflakes during that time and Alhamdulillah later trimesters I got better. I was at least able to drink few sips of water and eat few bites of food followed by vomiting. Vomiting just one time a day was my definition of feeling good. For context, my first trimester vomiting was like 20+ vomits in a day. It was horrible. I am alive is a big achievement for me Alhamdulillah.
So coming back to postpartum, I still vividly remember every single word, look, and taunt she gave me. I will write everything chronologically as it still replays like this in my head.
When she first came straight from the airport I got up from the bed with a baby to greet her. She pushed me aside and said “people I’ve met before, get a side. I want to meet new people (my newborn)”. I laughed it off.
Next day, she saw my kitchen cabinets and said “looks like a bachelor lives here” as in everything is so disorganized that it looks like no woman lives in this house. But I literally BEGGED my husband a day earlier (with a 2 days old newborn) that please help me clean the house. Your mother will kill me and criticize me. He said “my mother is chill, don’t worry about her”
Even when he picked my MIL from the airport, I cleaned the whole freaking house in fear of my MIL with a 2 days old baby. I was in pain, baby was crying, I felt like killing myself.
Yeah so next day she saw the wallpaper of my phone and said “who is this?” When she could clearly see it was my half face (just my eyes). Then she said “looks like an old person haha”
I was embarrassed and shocked what to say. Again, I laughed it off. Also, I never put my own wallpaper but because I knew I was postpartum and won’t be going out so I put that screenlock to make myself feel better.
Then one day she was washing the dishes and said “I am only doing all of this for few days, the woman of the house (me) should take care of this”. I was shocked again. Like it’s not even a week since you are here and you’re already saying these things.
I kept a healthy distance from her after seeing her attitude towards me since the day one. I would mostly stay inside room because the baby was needy and would cry a lot. And also because I was in pain. Even though it was a natural delivery but I had stitches and it was hella painful. I was severely constipated for weeks. Trust me it was SEVERE. Bleeding even 6 months later because of the constipation. And during the first two months the pain in stitches was horrible even though everyone kept saying it heals faster but idk my experience was slow. Again, I appreciate women who give birth through c-section no comparison to their pain. But I felt a lot of discomfort and pain in my pelvic area. Reason to share this was to tell you all that because I was in pain so I preferred to stay in my room on bed and would move every now and then. My MIL didn’t like this. Labelled it as “attitude and rudeness”
She cooked for us mostly and would do dishes for the first few days and then after that she would cook and I would wash the dishes and trust me everyday it would be a mountain of dishes in the sink. She did it on purpose I know. No doubt she took care of the baby few times a day but anytime I would try to do self care (bath, skincare, dress up to feel better) she would give me a look of “frustration and how long would it take for you to take bath” and sometimes she would even ask how long. She would let me take a nap in the evening but little did I know she would use that time to talk sh*t about me everyday to my husband. My husband used to work for 13+ hours and was working from day 5 after our baby was born. Which means he had no leave nothing and I was left at home for 13 hours with MIL from hell.
Every single day MIL would say things like “she doesn’t do anything, the baby was crying a lot, she only stays inside her room” etc.
11 days postpartum I got a high fever because of tiredness, sleepless nights, and exhaustion etc. I remember ny baby was cluster feeding and I was breastfeeding her every 20 mins. It literally made me so tired and I got a fever. My fever wasn’t going down. I was combination feeding my baby and my supply went down because of the fever. It was horrible. Every inch of my body was in pain. My husband said I would take a leave to take care of you and my MIL didn’t like this and said no need to do this go to work.
Next day as per routine, my husband came back home in the evening after work and I heard them talking behind my back. I was going to the toilet but I heard my MIL saying “I am telling you, in natural birth, women start to run after few days and can do everything, I am only doing it for 40 days (cultural relevance) then after that I won’t do anything for her, I went for a walk and she called me today and told me that baby was crying (which as trueeee wallahi I panicked and called my MIL cuz the baby was crying endlessly (13 days old)” “she has severe attitude problems and only stays inside, doesn’t even bother to come sit outside with me” and then my husband added “she has attitude problems, haven’t you seen how she talks to me”
I was listening to their conversation. The way my MIL was talking about me….you guys… I felt so angry. And I was so hurt by husband as well who was just listening and adding more fuel to the fire and not saying anything in my defense. Like just one day before I had a hight fever… sleepless nights, pain, exhaustion, suicidal thoughts, no bonding with a baby…and you’re saying all of this about me?
So I entered the room and exploded and confronted them. My MIL didn’t like this and said “you’re being rude to me” “son, oh god look how she is talking to me” “son, send me back, book my flight asap, I can’t stay here” “ look how she is talking to me”
I came inside my room and cried loudly, screamed, and couldn’t stop crying. In front of my 13 days OLD BABY.
I felt betrayed by my husband and left my baby in the house next morning. Disappeared for few hours. I was literally crying endlessly like a madman on the streets. I wasn’t even looking left or right while crossing the roads for I didn’t care if a car hit me. It would’ve made me happy in that moment. My husband called me, begged me, cried and all for me to come back. Then I came back later when he found me on the road.
Even after this day, my MIL didn’t stop criticizing me and threw same taunts every now and then.
Even said things like “if there was any cousin of my son’s age, I would’ve married him to her not you”.
My MIL would continue to talk bad about me loudly because she knew I was listening and she wanted a reaction out of me. I knew her tactic and after confronting them one time never did it again. Just stayed in my room and ignored what she said.
Before she left, she tried her best to create scene again. But I fully ignored her.
She said things like “are you the first parents in the world?? Only taking care of the baby” “keeping the baby in your arms all the time” she was saying it all loudly on purpose and even my husband was shocked to see his mom like this during those two months stay here.
Also, when she left for her departure, she didn’t even greet me or my baby. I got up early in the morning to greet her one last time before she left for the airport and tried to hug her but she didn’t hug me or even looked at my baby.
Also, she didn’t like when my husband would spend money on me or our baby or try to help me with house chores.
It was a long story. Tried to squeeze everything here.
Shared for the purpose of…idk…venting? Rant? Support? Whatever you think.
Thanks for your time.

That was the loudest thunderstorm of my life….
I thought world war 3 began😭😭

Is Sheffield Hallam University a good initiative ?? I am thinking to do PhD from there. Any opinion is welcomed :)

I am just curious to know what are the things most married couples fight/argue about?? And how bad does it get??

It is going to be a very casual post. Honestly I am just loving this new trend where women in their 20s who are being pressurized by the society is putting men in their place (no offense).
This new generation of women know their rights, they know what Islam says about life after marriage, the curse of joint family, and that husband and wife should bring Sakeenah (peace) in each other lives.
Pehle sirf larkon or unn ki demands khatam nahi hoti thin. Humain bahu aisi chahiye, wesi chahiye.
Gori ho, patli ho, masters kiya ho, daaaactar ho, lekin subh uth ke hum sab ke liye gol roti or parathay banaye. Yeh kare wo kare. Basically model jesi bahu ho jo kitchen mein kaam karti achi lagay. Ate jate mehman dekh kar uss ki tareef karen. Live in maid le ao bhaii itni zaroorat hai agar. Lekin nahi uss ki bhi aukaat nahi hai ap ki. Khair STOP LOOKING FOR KATRINA KAIF JESI BIWI FOR YOUR TEENDAY JESI SHAKAL WALA BETA. Ffs.
I am glad that now women are also putting demands AS THEY SHOULD. As ISLAM GIVES US RIGHT TO DO SO. Alag ghar, monthly pocket money, jesi zindagi maa baap ke ghar thi uss jesi (not in terms of money only, but zehni sakoon bhi) yeh sab literally BASIC rights diye hain Islam ne. Lekin nahi ghattiya culture bheech mein le ao. Aurat ko dabao. Inhe sirf ek kaam wali tak mehdood rakh dou.
I recently came across a post on this sub where a man was complaining ke larkion ki itni demands hain.
TOU? TOU?? Women in male dominated fields (desi version)??
Ap provide kar sakte hain yeh sakoon ki zindagi tou theek hai warna bhai single hi rahen. Kyon ke shadi wali tou ap ki aukat nahi hai. Respectfully.
Ap bhi sakoon se rahen apne maa baap ke sath. Hum larkiyan bhi sakoon se rahen apne maa baap ke sath.
Thanks for your attention everyone.
Awain rant karne ko dil kiya hehe
Good night :p