u/Ok-Lab-6032

TW
Trigger warning : depression & childloss

Today the weather has finally cooled down and it felt nice, cool and cozy inside. After dinner , My children & I got our blankets and laid down in the loft to watch the cartoon version of the grinch. My 3 year old thought it was hilarious and my older daughter enjoyed it just as much. They’re snuggling with me and their new stuffies. We’ve got our mini tree up for the ambience. I’m sitting with my kids thinking, this year Christmas will be different. I won’t be crying tears of despair coming from the pain of delivering a full term stillbirth child. I’ll be celebrating her life & how loved and cherished she & being thankful I got to hold her for 9 months. My antidepressants have seemed to help me as I am in a better place than last year.
My husband came back from the grocery store and bought us lots of treats and joined us in our cozy loft. As my youngest is dangling off her daddy’s shoulders and my oldest is resting her head on my shoulders , we’re watching the grinch together and loving the festive colors and warm cozy feeling of togetherness. Thank you God, for I have so much. I know our angel is looking down at us. I have a feeling this Christmas will bring me joy and peace . Next year we might even add another little baby to our family , if God wants. Christmas movies give me feelings of joy and hope. I am happy to say it has definitely helped my soul tonight 🩷 🎄

I am so sorry from the bottom of my heart that we are in this group . There is LITERALLY NOTHING worse than losing a child. I am 8 months pp. i ache for my baby girl and our planned future .

I have two lc already so I know how lucky I am . But I want to try again. Does that make me crazy? I am almost 36. I die everyday just looking at my body & wishing I had my baby girl who was inside of me for safe 9’months.

I am terrified of going through this again. Can anyone please share any positive stories if anyone has had a successful birth of a lc after a stillbirth ? Especially considering my age already ?

Peace and blessings to all you mommies and daddies . I pray our babies are all safe and happy and continue looking down on us and give us strength . Big hugs to all.

I’m 9 months pp. I have 2 daughters already and this was to be our 3rd and final baby. Our angel left us 2 days before her scheduled C-section delivery . No issues found. I am still here and living because I refuse to let my living children go through hell just because I have. They’re so young and need me still . But somedays the grief hits me so damn hard. Like literally I am wailing and crying . I miss my baby girl so much . My whole image of my family changed. I know I have so much to be thankful for , I have two beautiful loving daughters …. But I miss my third daughter !! I feel like throwing up somedays . I am on low dose of Zoloft . But idk how to keep doing this . I feel like I’m wearing a facade for everyone else . Therapy Hasn’t helped me much. I keep thinking I want another baby . But it’s not going to bring my baby girl back. I know that. I never did wrong to anyone I always pray for everyone’s safety and happiness . Idk why this happened to us.

Praying for strength for all your mamas . Life is cruel . So cruel