u/Ok-Nebula-3829

This is probably going to sound dramatic, but I've been thinking about this a lot lately.

I've been talking to this girl for a little over two months now, and something about getting close to her has been changing me in a way I didn't expect.

For roughly the last four years, I've been extremely emotionally closed off. I basically trained myself not to cry, not to be vulnerable, not to show too much, and whenever something hurt badly I'd either suppress it, intellectualize it, get angry, or try to detach myself from it.

I genuinely can't remember the last time I cried before this year.

And now I've cried **twice in less than a month.**

The weirdest part is that neither time was forced. I wasn't sitting there thinking “I need to cry” or trying to be vulnerable. It just happened.

Tonight especially, I got really upset about something I've been carrying for a long time. Normally this is where I'd get angry at God, spiral into nihilism, or just shut everything down. But this time I consciously refused to do that. I didn't have some profound solution either. I just prayed, vented a little, and eventually my eyes started flowing.

I was genuinely shocked when I realized I was crying.

And I think part of why this is happening now is because I've experienced what it's like to actually care about someone again.

Having someone whose voice I look forward to hearing. Someone who checks on me. Someone I can watch shows and movies with, talk about random shit with, share little parts of my day with, and genuinely miss when she's not around.

It's made me realize how much of myself I'd shut away.

I don't think she's “healing me” or that she's responsible for my emotional wellbeing. I think she may have simply reminded me that there is a part of me capable of connection, affection and vulnerability that I had basically buried.

For the first time in a long time, I don't feel like being completely emotionally invulnerable is something I should be proud of.

I actually want to become softer in the sense of being more human.

And honestly, crying after four years of being stone cold felt almost surreal.

Maybe this is what changing actually feels like.

This is probably going to sound dramatic, but I've been thinking about this a lot lately.

I've been talking to this girl for a little over two months now, and something about getting close to her has been changing me in a way I didn't expect.

For roughly the last four years, I've been extremely emotionally closed off. I basically trained myself not to cry, not to be vulnerable, not to show too much, and whenever something hurt badly I'd either suppress it, intellectualize it, get angry, or try to detach myself from it.

I genuinely can't remember the last time I cried before this year.

And now I've cried twice in less than a month.

The weirdest part is that neither time was forced. I wasn't sitting there thinking “I need to cry” or trying to be vulnerable. It just happened.

Tonight especially, I got really upset about something I've been carrying for a long time. Normally this is where I'd get angry at God, spiral into nihilism, or just shut everything down. But this time I consciously refused to do that. I didn't have some profound solution either. I just prayed, vented a little, and eventually my eyes started flowing.

I was genuinely shocked when I realized I was crying.

And I think part of why this is happening now is because I've experienced what it's like to actually care about someone again.

Having someone whose voice I look forward to hearing. Someone who checks on me. Someone I can watch shows and movies with, talk about random shit with, share little parts of my day with, and genuinely miss when she's not around.

It's made me realize how much of myself I'd shut away.

I don't think she's “healing me” or that she's responsible for my emotional wellbeing. I think she may have simply reminded me that there is a part of me capable of connection, affection and vulnerability that I had basically buried.

For the first time in a long time, I don't feel like being completely emotionally invulnerable is something I should be proud of.

I actually want to become softer in the sense of being more human.

And honestly, crying after four years of being stone cold felt almost surreal.

Maybe this is what changing actually feels like.

Need a book that can bridge two VERY different reading tastes for a shared read

I want to start reading a book together with someone I'm close to, but our tastes are almost complete opposites, so I'm looking for something that could genuinely work for both of us.

Her taste is mostly BookTok romance/romantasy. She likes romance to be a major part of the story and doesn't mind spicy/smutty elements. She's into things like the Shatter Me series and that general character-driven, addictive BookTok style.

My taste is... considerably different.

I'm not an extremely prolific reader, but when I read, I tend to gravitate toward philosophy, existentialism, psychology, classics and darker literary fiction. I loved Camus' The Stranger, and I'm interested in Kafka and Dostoevsky. Philosophically, I'm drawn to Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, existentialist thought, absurdism, and Stoic literature. I like themes around meaning, morality, freedom, alienation, suffering, human nature, identity and the question of how you're supposed to live.

Basically, I like books that make me stare at the wall afterward and question my existence 💀

But weirdly, we actually have some overlap.

We both seem to appreciate twisted romance and morally questionable relationships. We've talked about that kind of thing before, and neither of us is particularly interested in stories where everything is clean, healthy and morally straightforward.

We also have a tendency to side with the villain if the villain is more interesting. For example, we both wanted Homelander to win at the end of The Boys, and were genuinely disappointed when he didn't. So we're not necessarily looking for wholesome “good person defeats evil” stories. A compelling villain, morally gray protagonist, disturbing relationship or unconventional ending could actually be a huge plus.

The funny part is that I DON'T want the book to be completely devoid of romance. I actually think romance could be the perfect bridge between our tastes. I just don't want something where the entire substance is romance + spice with nothing interesting underneath it.

She's probably not going to have much patience for a 500-page philosophical monologue about the meaninglessness of existence, and I probably won't survive 500 pages of nothing but romantic drama.

So I'm looking for the middle ground:

\* Strong romance/relationships

\* Twisted, unconventional or morally complicated romance is welcome

\* Interesting, psychologically complex characters

\* A compelling protagonist or villain, even if they're morally questionable

\* Some philosophical or existential depth

\* Themes we can actually discuss together

\* Enough plot to keep a BookTok romance reader hooked

\* Good writing without being unbearably dense

\* Ideally not ridiculously long, because I'd like this to become an actual shared reading habit

Basically, what book could make a BookTok romance reader and a Kierkegaard/Nietzsche/Camus/Dostoevsky/Stoicism enjoyer both want to read the next chapter?

I'm open to classics, contemporary fiction, literary romance, psychological fiction, dark romance, romantic tragedy, morally gray stories, etc.

What would you recommend?

Need a book that can bridge two VERY different reading tastes for a shared read

I want to start reading a book together with someone I'm close to, but our tastes are almost complete opposites, so I'm looking for something that could genuinely work for both of us.

Her taste is mostly BookTok romance/romantasy. She likes romance to be a major part of the story and doesn't mind spicy/smutty elements. She's into things like the Shatter Me series and that general character-driven, addictive BookTok style.

My taste is... considerably different.

I'm not an extremely prolific reader, but when I read, I tend to gravitate toward philosophy, existentialism, psychology, classics and darker literary fiction. I loved Camus' The Stranger, and I'm interested in Kafka and Dostoevsky. Philosophically, I'm drawn to Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, existentialist thought, absurdism, and Stoic literature. I like themes around meaning, morality, freedom, alienation, suffering, human nature, identity and the question of how you're supposed to live.

Basically, I like books that make me stare at the wall afterward and question my existence 💀

But weirdly, we actually have some overlap.

We both seem to appreciate twisted romance and morally questionable relationships. We've talked about that kind of thing before, and neither of us is particularly interested in stories where everything is clean, healthy and morally straightforward.

We also have a tendency to side with the villain if the villain is more interesting. For example, we both wanted Homelander to win at the end of The Boys, and were genuinely disappointed when he didn't. So we're not necessarily looking for wholesome “good person defeats evil” stories. A compelling villain, morally gray protagonist, disturbing relationship or unconventional ending could actually be a huge plus.

The funny part is that I DON'T want the book to be completely devoid of romance. I actually think romance could be the perfect bridge between our tastes. I just don't want something where the entire substance is romance + spice with nothing interesting underneath it.

She's probably not going to have much patience for a 500-page philosophical monologue about the meaninglessness of existence, and I probably won't survive 500 pages of nothing but romantic drama.

So I'm looking for the middle ground:

\* Strong romance/relationships

\* Twisted, unconventional or morally complicated romance is welcome

\* Interesting, psychologically complex characters

\* A compelling protagonist or villain, even if they're morally questionable

\* Some philosophical or existential depth

\* Themes we can actually discuss together

\* Enough plot to keep a BookTok romance reader hooked

\* Good writing without being unbearably dense

\* Ideally not ridiculously long, because I'd like this to become an actual shared reading habit

Basically, what book could make a BookTok romance reader and a Kierkegaard/Nietzsche/Camus/Dostoevsky/Stoicism enjoyer both want to read the next chapter?

I'm open to classics, contemporary fiction, literary romance, psychological fiction, dark romance, romantic tragedy, morally gray stories, etc.

What would you recommend?

Need a book that can bridge two VERY different reading tastes for a shared read

I want to start reading a book together with someone I'm close to, but our tastes are almost complete opposites, so I'm looking for something that could genuinely work for both of us.

Her taste is mostly BookTok romance/romantasy. She likes romance to be a major part of the story and doesn't mind spicy/smutty elements. She's into things like the Shatter Me series and that general character-driven, addictive BookTok style.

My taste is... considerably different.

I'm not an extremely prolific reader, but when I read, I tend to gravitate toward philosophy, existentialism, psychology, classics and darker literary fiction. I loved Camus' The Stranger, and I'm interested in Kafka and Dostoevsky. Philosophically, I'm drawn to Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, existentialist thought, absurdism, and Stoic literature. I like themes around meaning, morality, freedom, alienation, suffering, human nature, identity and the question of how you're supposed to live.

Basically, I like books that make me stare at the wall afterward and question my existence 💀

But weirdly, we actually have some overlap.

We both seem to appreciate twisted romance and morally questionable relationships. We've talked about that kind of thing before, and neither of us is particularly interested in stories where everything is clean, healthy and morally straightforward.

We also have a tendency to side with the villain if the villain is more interesting. For example, we both wanted Homelander to win at the end of The Boys, and were genuinely disappointed when he didn't. So we're not necessarily looking for wholesome “good person defeats evil” stories. A compelling villain, morally gray protagonist, disturbing relationship or unconventional ending could actually be a huge plus.

The funny part is that I DON'T want the book to be completely devoid of romance. I actually think romance could be the perfect bridge between our tastes. I just don't want something where the entire substance is romance + spice with nothing interesting underneath it.

She's probably not going to have much patience for a 500-page philosophical monologue about the meaninglessness of existence, and I probably won't survive 500 pages of nothing but romantic drama.

So I'm looking for the middle ground:

* Strong romance/relationships

* Twisted, unconventional or morally complicated romance is welcome

* Interesting, psychologically complex characters

* A compelling protagonist or villain, even if they're morally questionable

* Some philosophical or existential depth

* Themes we can actually discuss together

* Enough plot to keep a BookTok romance reader hooked

* Good writing without being unbearably dense

* Ideally not ridiculously long, because I'd like this to become an actual shared reading habit

Basically, what book could make a BookTok romance reader and a Kierkegaard/Nietzsche/Camus/Dostoevsky/Stoicism enjoyer both want to read the next chapter?

I'm open to classics, contemporary fiction, literary romance, psychological fiction, dark romance, romantic tragedy, morally gray stories, etc.

What would you recommend?

Guys i want to switch from topical to oral minoxidil but i xant find it online, and i wonder if there's any way i could get my hand on some

I'm almost 21.

The last time I cried, I was 17.

For years, I genuinely thought I had forgotten how.

There were nights where I wanted nothing more than to cry. Funerals, heartbreak, loneliness, disappointments. I'd sit there hoping just one tear would come out because I knew I needed it. Nothing. It was like my body refused.

Somewhere growing up I adopted a really toxic version of masculinity.

To me, being a man meant enduring. Never showing weakness. Never crying. Just work harder, lift harder, study harder, become stronger and eventually life would reward you.

In a way, it worked.

No matter how empty I felt, I never abandoned discipline. I buried myself in academics, trained consistently, isolated myself from distractions, and eventually overperformed enough to build a future I could actually be proud of.

But emotionally...

I've been falling apart for years.

I lost friends I thought would stay for life. People I imagined growing old with slowly disappeared. I found myself isolated for months.

Somewhere along the road I became angry.

Angry at people.

Angry at life.

And honestly...

Angry at God.

There were periods where my heart simply refused to believe. I drifted between faith, agnosticism, and sometimes something that looked a lot like atheism. Not because I wanted to rebel, but because disappointment kept piling up until belief became difficult.

For months I also fell into nihilism.

Nothing felt meaningful.

My moral compass started feeling numb. I became colder, more detached, and I hated what that was turning me into.

Today was strange.

I woke up before dawn for Fajr.

Later I prayed Jumu'ah.

Despite everything, I still asked God for guidance because I genuinely don't know where I am anymore.

Tonight, around 10 p.m., I was alone in my room during an internship in the middle of nowhere. Desert. Silence. Hundreds of kilometers away from home.

Something happened that triggered everything.

And then...

I cried.

Not a tear.

Not thirty seconds.

Five to ten minutes.

It felt physically intense. My chest tightened, my breathing changed, and it honestly felt like four years of emotions that had nowhere to go finally forced their way out.

The strange part is that I wasn't crying over one event.

It felt like I was grieving years.

Years of loneliness.

Years of disappointment.

Years of trying to carry everything through discipline alone.

I don't know why today.

I don't know why not all those other nights when I desperately wanted to cry.

But today, after four years, it finally happened.

And now I'm left wondering...

Was that me breaking?

Or was that the first sign that I'm finally starting to heal?

Has anyone else gone years without being able to cry, only for it to suddenly happen out of nowhere?

​

I got close to someone over the last month, and somewhere along the way I ended up more emotionally invested than I expected. We talked a lot, got to know each other pretty well, and I think there was a mismatch in feelings, timing, or expectations.

Nothing dramatic happened, and nobody hurt anyone. But after some uncertainty and disappointment, I'm starting to accept that she's probably not interested in me romantically.

The thing is, she's genuinely one of the most wonderful and unique people I've met in a long time. I don't even mean that in a romantic sense anymore—she's just someone whose personality, energy, and way of seeing life made my days better.

Part of me thinks the healthy thing to do is to move on completely. But another part of me feels like I'd rather keep her in my life as a friend than lose the connection entirely.

At the same time, I'm worried that maybe I'm only telling myself that because I'm not fully over my feelings yet.

Has anyone here managed to turn something like this into a real friendship, or does it usually end with one person secretly hoping for more?

How do you know whether you genuinely value the friendship itself, or whether you're just afraid of letting go?

Its basically what the title says im looking for a nice cafe for a first date , and optimally the cafe is near a park or some place we can have a walk after getting our drinks or something, or help me with a totally different simple first date idea in rabat (im still a student so i cant spend alot alot ) thanks in advance <3

Extra question: shes from sale im from casa is rabat a good location for the date or should we do it in sale

Can befriending females actually help u get a date, as in it lets u understand their perspective and how to talk to them or naash?

How I am supposed to greet a girl on a first date