u/OkCellist4682

Hey, idk if this is the right place to ask but, my mom might be a bit manipulative? idk my partner pointed out that i literally saw her as perfect until he pointed out the cracks. i personally noticed that when im talking to her about feeling upset with her, or something important, she A: starts playing with the dogs and is like "look OP, isnt he so cute?" or B starts complaining about some kind of physical pain. (back, neck, dizzy, etc) and i pointed it out to her once and she was in so much pain she never answered. im confused because i know she loves me and thought she was perfect, and everyone else does too, just now that i see hints of manipulation im confused.

Hey, idk if this is the right place to ask but, my mom might be a bit manipulative? idk my (16M)partner pointed out that i(15F) literally saw her as perfect until he pointed out the cracks. i personally noticed that when im talking to her about feeling upset with her, or something important, she A: starts playing with the dogs and is like "look OP, isnt he so cute?" or B starts complaining about some kind of physical pain. (back, neck, dizzy, etc) and i pointed it out to her once and she was in so much pain she never answered. im confused because i know she loves me and thought she was perfect, and everyone else does too, just now that i see hints of manipulation im confused.

hey so like. does anyone else get super pissed when youre like down and someone is like "whats wrong" and you say 'idk' and they respond with smth almost identical? like "well what happened" IDK PATRICIA. IM DEPRESSED ND TIRED

...this might be an autism thing?

so if you wanna dissect my last posts for more info and background info you can try, but im gonna try to just get this out here coherently.

i met a boy online, we hung out a lot, we were friends and vented to each other for months, my mom liked him. we got together and now have been together for 6 months. my mom no longer likes him because he trash talks her for letting other family members physically and mentally abuse me in front of her. she is also pissed that sometimes we stay up really late on calls hanging out and stuff. i dont think it matters tho because i still do my responsibilities.

yes i know that immediately he hits red flags, having met him online n stuff, but ive seen an id of his, talked to his family, and video called for hours on end and i dont know if a catfisher could come up with and accurately keep up with my bfs life story. its lowk ridiculous. his lore is insane. plus, ive talked to friends of his, and seen too much of him and his life to think hes a catfisher. he used to talk to my mom and grandpa and that was nice.

the reason my last post is so messy is because i tried to give context with abuse and mental health struggles and dynamics and stuff. idk please just help me

so if you wanna dissect my last posts for more info and background info you can try, but im gonna try to just get this out here coherently.

i met a boy online, we hung out a lot, we were friends and vented to each other for months, my mom liked him. we got together and now have been together for 6 months. my mom no longer likes him because he trash talks her for letting other family members physically and mentally abuse me in front of her. she is also pissed that sometimes we stay up really late on calls hanging out and stuff. i dont think it matters tho because i still do my responsibilities.

yes i know that immediately he hits red flags, having met him online n stuff, but ive seen an id of his, talked to his family, and video called for hours on end and i dont know if a catfisher could come up with and accurately keep up with my bfs life story. its lowk ridiculous. his lore is insane. plus, ive talked to friends of his, and seen too much of him and his life to think hes a catfisher. he used to talk to my mom and grandpa and that was nice.

the reason my last post is so messy is because i tried to give context with abuse and mental health struggles and dynamics and stuff. idk please just help me

im gonna delete this post when i stop getting comments because it feels yucky to doubt them like this. one of them has to be right and im scared.
⚠️TRIGGER WARNING: literally all of them. mentions of....

⚠️DRUGS, SELF HARM, SUICIDE, ABUSE, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, CHEATING, NARCISSISTS, EATING DISORDERS SUCH AS ANOREXIA AND BULIMIA, AND OTHERS I PROB FORGOT⚠️

-I am in a 6 month long long distance relationship with a boy.
im a teen but we have plans for the future because right now we live 2000 miles apart and we see how we can both get away from our childhoods(ik, im 15, still a child, but i dont feel like one anymore) (neither are pretty) and it should be great if everything works out... heres the problem.
he and my mom dont get along.
(bg info, ask for more where necessary, ill comment it)
ill call my bf M bc theres 3 'he's in here and 2 are family so ill use their family title things
-i wanna preface with my mom does her best. shes a good person i think, and would be a good/better mom if me and my brother were older and not affected by so much tauma(im 15, brothers 11 and my bf is 16) anyway she is overprotective and neurodivergent (as am i) and we both have trauma and issues from my dad who she just recently was forced to get a DVO with because he lowk tried to kill us.
-my dad sucks
-i regularly stepped into fights with them between age 12 to when they got separated a few months ago and regularly urged her to leave him
-i didnt realise my dad was abusive until 8th grade bc i was homeschooled and friendless my whole life. but i knew something was off a wwhile before that
-in 8th grade i was sent to an awful in person school and learned what abuse was
-my brother picked up my dads habit of hitting and i am his main target. hes 11 but it still hurts to lowk be beat every other day. better than my dad tho ig.
-my brother is misophonic and cant stand when i move, breathe, chew, hum, tap my fingers, etc.(my mom says just stop, or move but thats hard bc im autistic and stim... esp hard in the car and stuff) only me tho. evb else is fine with him
-ive posted somewhere about my brother on reddit before and evb told me to call cps and i didnt.
-my bf doesnt care for anyone in my family because they all have fatal flaws that directly hurt me
-my mom is weird and confusing. M has mentioned she seems manipulative but i never saw her that way before
-she is a pacifist at her core, but is trying not to be and its weird
-i think im watching a midlife crisis of a woman whose 20 year long marraige fell apart
-my mom thinks my bf is a groomer at best, trafficker at worst.
-my mom lets my brother hurt me bc hes younger than me
-she also let others hurt me(dad, grandma, etc)
-she couldve stopped it
-my grandma sucks and bullied me into an ED
-i could starve myself for weeks unnoticed
-my mom tries to take my friends either by blocking, or being "friends" with them and taking them while were meant to hangout😬
my boyfriend isnt without flaws, dw.
-he was abused and obv like other victims, can gravitate to unhealthy coping and other things of the such
-his family is crazy and we agreed if we make it to marriage we'd cut them off
-he DOES say bad stuff abt my fam but most of it is accurate and dare i say deserved
-he calls women and girls females but i think he picked that up in vrchat
-his family illegally has him out of school 😬
-he doesnt have therapy
and now for me
I am a
anorexic/bulimic(havent thrown up in a while:) )
self harming(25 weeks clean!!)
ex-suicidal(though coming back)
autistic
very confused girl
(sorry for the jump, this post is all over the place)
relevant: all but one of my electronics are second hand or i bought it myself at a yard sale, while my brother has majority brand new devices.
i have a second hand phone, SIM card damaged by my brother, he has the newest version of it. i dont need the best but id like a not damaged SIM lol
i have a damaged computer setup, he has a new one
he says our playstation is his js bc we got it near his birthda and put controls on it to make me unable to play anymore, he has a switch lite, a vr headset, for a while, he had an ipad. and my mom is planning to get him a 700 dollar box pc thing in june.
i have my damaged phone with parental controls(his is unrestricted) partial custody of our nintendo switch(not the lite, thats separate), my all in one pc, an mp3 player, and some 15 year old tech i stole from our dads old shit. only new thing is the laptop i just got bc the 11 year old one from my dads stuff i was using gave out and i could no longer do school(mia prep)
(mildly relevant side track. in 4th grade, my brother got mad about a spelling quiz and threw a mouse at our family all-in-one pc, destroying the screen and as punishment had to either buy a new one or get it fixed. he bought a new one for 500 dollars from his savings, put it in a family area, put a password on it and our 'family' setup is his. my mom got the broken ones screen fixed and said i could put it in my room at my desk. its shitty and barely runs but oh well i guess)
oh yall, just reread my TWs, my dads a drug addict btw. also does THC, left a bong(?) in the middle of the guest room when the police made him leave... i found a bunch of stashes way before my mom knew anyhting... haha(ive never touched that stuff btw, yucky)
JUST READ THE POST AGAIN AND REALISED. I ADDED CHEATING TO THE TWS AND DIDNT MENTION THAT MY DAD ALSO CHEATED ON MY MOM WITH HER EX BESTIE WHO MANIPULATED HER AND WAS LOWK IN LOVE WITH HER. AGHHHHH MY LIFE DUDE. MY FUCKING LIFE

anyway. thats the bg info you need as im trying to make this as unbiased as possible. like i said, just ask if you need clarification

SO this is an issue and ive prayed, talked, read my bible, pleaded, tried to get them both to see but ts isnt working
its causing problems with my mom and i, and taking a toll on everyone. ive always been a night owl, but recently ive chosen to stay up really late with M(partially bc of our 3 hour time difference), this makes my mom upset which is reasonable. but im still completing school, going to work, making it to FCA, and before, keeping my room clean. its a bit of a depression nest rn, which was all i thought mattered. she doesnt like that i sleep on the phone with him sometimes, or that he says truthful stuff about my brother that ive said for years. she says he isolated me from my friends but tbh. i only had 3 friends (who i DO still talk to. i js lowk gave up on trying to ask my mom to let me go to hangouts) and one of them was a porn addict so like idk bro... i dont talk to that guy anymore.
she says hes isolating me from friends(people) who she had been trying to force block from my phone a few months ago
it doesnt make sense. this WHOLE POST doesnt make sense. anyway.

so yeah she doesnt like that i talk to my bf a lot, she doesnt like that he 'insults her', she doesnt like that she cant talk to his parents (she can but its not a good idea, we warned her of that) she doesnt like that i stay up with him, she doesnt like that i got up early for him, she doesnt like him

he doesnt like that she let me get abused, he doesnt like that she still 'favors' my brother(i put favors in quotes bc she says she doesnt), he doesnt like that she let me cut and starve myself(not her fault tbf, i was good at hiding) he doesnt like that she restricts me, he doesnt like that she wont get me a bedframe ffs(its not like were poor, she has (this subreddit doesnt like the M$ word... monopoly game pieces... dough if you will) for it), he doesnt like that she double standards me and my brother, etc

i think my moms parenting would be fine if it was linear. plenty of people have restricted phone access and stuff. its jusst that she only does it to me.
also relevant, she listens in on my convos. and then refrences stuff out of context in arguements. like i was talking about heather chandler from heathers the musical the other day, and she thought i was talking about poisoning her and fought with me abt it and said she felt unsafe like i was gonna try to kill her T-T

i would never fucking do that.

anyway yall. idk who is right, who to believe, what to do, etc and i have a shift at dunkin in an hour. wish me luck in all this and drop opinions n shit about my situation please. im lowk suffocating in my room rn

XOXO, Tubby

BYEEEE

okay this just happened nd im mildly freaked out

Im a 15 year old girl and i live in a pretty big subdivision. maybe im paranoid but weird nonetheless.

i was at home today alone because my brother and mom were ad some kids birthday party.

i went down to the kitchen to grab a snack which made my tiny annoying dogs bark. i was about to go back to bedrotting when my doorbell rings.

i was expecting guests although i thought i was picking them up once my mom was home.. so i went to check the window because maybe they just found a ride to be dropped off.

outside theres a man, 2 girls(9-11 and 11-14 maybe?) they have a little dog as well. i wave and they signal me to open the door. i do not. i crack the window. the older girl says hi and im like whats up nd shes like "oh can i see your dogs" im like ".........yeah why"

shes like i js wanna see and i go Okay =D bc im stupid. i bring out one of my dogs (hurriedly, as my wwindow was open and youd just have to slash the screen to break in and im prettty easy to overpower) and im like ya this is bodhi and shes like "aw hes ute thank you " and i wave and close the window and they hover in the driveay for a minute. and like. wha even...??????

i go on walks where im asked to pet my dogs all the time, but who just rings the doorbell and is like where are our dogs... esp someone i dont know

okay this just happened nd im mildly freaked out

Im a 15 year old girl and i live in a pretty big subdivision. maybe im paranoid but weird nonetheless.

i was at home today alone because my brother and mom were ad some kids birthday party. i went down to the kitchen to grab a snack which made my tiny annoying dogs bark. i was about to go back to bedrotting when my doorbell rings. i was expecting guests although i thought i was picking them up once my mom was home.. so i went to check the window because maybe they just found a ride to be dropped off. outside theres a man, 2 girls(9-11 and 11-14 maybe?) they have a little dog as well. i wave and they signal me to open the door. i do not. i crack the window. the older girl says hi and im like whats up nd shes like "oh can i see your dogs" im like ".........yeah why" shes like i js wanna see and i go Okay =D bc im stupid. i bring out one of my dogs (hurriedly, as my wwindow was open and youd just have to slash the screen to break in and im prettty easy to overpower) and im like ya this is bodhi and shes like "aw hes ute thank you " and i wave and close the window and they hover in the driveay for a minute. and like. wha even...?????? i go on walks where im asked to pet my dogs all the time, but who just rings the doorbell and is like where are our dogs... esp someone i dont know