I’m autistic, have my first real crush, and I’m scared of ruining what we have.
I’m a 19-year-old guy, and she’s 23.
A few months ago we met through gaming online, and since then we’ve talked almost every day. We game together a lot, but we also message each other on Snapchat, send each other TikToks, and just talk about random stuff throughout the day.
Over time we’ve gotten pretty close. We know a lot about each other’s lives, like work, family, hobbies, school, and even our dreams for the future. We
joke around a lot too.
I’m autistic, and I don’t develop feelings for people easily. I have to feel really safe around someone before I can truly open up. That’s what happened
with her.
We met in person for the first time. We grabbed a drink, walked around, sat down somewhere, and talked for about an hour and a half. I ended up telling her quite a bit about myself. She didn’t judge me or make me feel weird. She just listened, asked questions, and shared things about herself too. It was one of the most comfortable conversations I’ve ever had.
We also often end up staying in voice chat together after everyone else leaves. It’s happened enough that some of our friends have started joking that we’re dating or already in a relationship.
The thing is… I have no idea if she likes me as more than a friend. I’m terrible at reading signals.
This is also my first real crush. I’ve never been in a relationship or even been on a date before, so I honestly have no idea what I’m doing.
What I’m most afraid of isn’t rejection. It’s losing her. She’s become someone I genuinely feel safe around, and that’s incredibly rare for me.
I don’t want to rush things and make everything awkward, but I also don’t want to look back in a year and regret never taking a chance.
So… what would you do if you were in my position? Should I just keep taking things slowly, should I ask her out on a proper date at some point, or is there another approach I’m not thinking of? I’m open to any advice since this is my first time having feelings like this. Thanks for reading.