u/Ok_Concentrate_5105

My baby loves his BabyBjörn Bouncer, and honestly, it’s been one of our most-used baby items.
The problem is that he’s only 4.5 months old and already weighs almost 20 lbs (about 19 lbs / 8.6 kg), which is the maximum recommended weight for the bouncer.

So… what do people usually do at this point?
Did you replace it with something else your baby enjoyed just as much?

I’m a bit sad because he still loves bouncing in it, but obviously I want to use it safely and follow the manufacturer’s recommendations.
I’d love to hear what everyone else did!

My baby just turned 4 months old, and over the past week he’s had a couple of days (including today) where he’s been sleeping much more than usual and eating a bit less.

For example, it’s currently 4 PM where I live, and he’s already slept about 11 hours today. Normally, he sleeps around 12–13 hours total in a 24-hour period. He’s also nursed quite a bit less than he usually does so far today.

When he’s awake, though, he seems completely like himself: happy, alert, and content. The only difference is that he seems sleepier than usual and not quite as hungry.

It has been very hot where we live over the past few days, although we keep the house cool, usually around 22–23°C (72–73°F), so I’m not sure whether the weather could still be playing a role.

Could this be related to a growth spurt or a developmental leap? Has anyone else’s baby gone through something similar around 4 months?

Thanks!

This is mostly a vent about my MIL, but I’d also appreciate some outside perspective.

I’ve been with my husband for 12 years, and until recently I had a fairly good relationship with my in-laws. They were very absent and neglectful parents, and my husband was largely raised by other people. My MIL has struggled with depression and anxiety for many years, and my FIL also suffers from severe anxiety.

They’ve always had some selfish and disrespectful tendencies, but things seem to have escalated since we had our son, who is now 4 months old. A recent incident involving my MIL ignoring a boundary we had set for our baby (I posted about it) was the final straw for me, and it’s made me reflect on years of behavior that I previously brushed off or minimized.

At this point, I’ve run out of patience. I’m exhausted by the constant lack of consideration, the entitlement, and the refusal to respect boundaries. More and more, I’m finding myself considering low contact for the sake of my own wellbeing, my husband’s wellbeing, and especially our son’s.

Here are a few examples of the kinds of things we’ve dealt with over the years:

- Everything always revolves around her. For example, she’ll ask how I’m doing, and if I tell her something negative happened, her response is often, “Great, that’s just what I needed to hear right now.”

- She and my father-in-law are completely incapable of handling even minor everyday problems and constantly call my husband for help. They’ve called him multiple times about the exact same issues. A few years ago, he would actually drive over to fix things for them. Examples: the TV wasn’t working (because it was unplugged), the phone wasn’t working (because the volume was turned down), the air conditioner wasn’t working (because the filters had never been cleaned), and so on. These days my husband usually tells them to call a professional, but they still expect him to troubleshoot things regularly.

- When we got married, we didn’t have a huge budget and worked very hard to pay for everything ourselves. My family helped with all sorts of things: decorations, place cards, setting up the venue, and more. My in-laws simply showed up. They never once asked if we needed help with anything.

- Since we’ve been together, my husband has worked incredibly hard on himself to heal from his childhood experiences and become a healthier person. His mother constantly says that he’s “not the same anymore,” that he’s changed, and she blames me for those changes.

- She expects us to call her but rarely calls us unless she needs something. Her attitude is that because she’s older, it’s our responsibility to maintain contact.

- Before the kissing incident, there was another situation that really bothered us. Our son was born two days after my husband’s birthday. On his birthday, my husband ended up having an argument with his mother on the phone because she found out that my relatives had been taking turns visiting me in the hospital. I had gone through four days of induction before giving birth, and they wanted to support me. My mother-in-law was upset because we hadn’t specifically invited her to come. The thing is, I never invited my relatives either—they simply showed up because they wanted to be there for me. As a result, my husband spent much of his birthday in a bad mood. My family even brought him chocolates as a birthday gift at the hospital. My in-laws didn’t even show up.

- They’ve visited our son at home two or three times, and even something as simple as asking them to wash their hands before holding him became an issue.
Every time we asked for that basic courtesy, they had something to complain about or acted as though we were being unreasonable, despite the fact that we were simply trying to protect our newborn.

- In 2020, both of my in-laws caught COVID because they never followed the recommended hygiene and safety precautions.
My MIL became very ill, and in the end I was the one who had to call an ambulance because my FIL was completely ignoring how serious her condition had become. She ended up being hospitalized for three weeks.
During those three weeks, my FIL repeatedly called and insulted us on the phone, accusing my husband of being a “terrible son” because he wasn’t bringing him breakfast every morning or coming over to visit him.

There are many more examples, but this post is already long enough.

What do you think?

My MIL kissed our 4 month old baby on the head after we had explicitly asked everyone not to kiss him.

She asked to hold the baby to take a picture, and as soon as I handed him to her, she kissed him on the head, despite knowing that we do not want anyone kissing him.

My husband immediately became very upset because he felt our boundary had been completely disrespected, while I went to clean our baby’s head with a wet wipe (and later we also gave him a bath).
My MIL frequently gets cold sores/herpes, and we know HSV can be dangerous for small babies. She did NOT have an active sore at the time, and I also get cold sores myself, so our baby likely has some antibodies from me, but we still set a strict “no kissing the baby” rule for everyone.

After they left, my husband sent this message:

“Thank you for visiting us.
After what happened today, for the near future, we honestly don’t feel comfortable letting you hold our baby again.
We understand it may feel instinctive to kiss him, but these small gestures can potentially put him in serious danger, and our role as parents is first and foremost to protect him as much as possible. We’re sure you understand.”

His mother replied:

“Thank you for having us. Don’t worry, I personally believe that for quite a long time I won’t come again to be treated the way I was today, knowing that I surely made a mistake. It hurt me too much. I am 73 years old and being tolerated the way I felt tolerated today is not something I think I could experience again. I’m very sorry. Maybe we hurt you very much while raising you, otherwise you wouldn’t have sworn in front of me and treated me this way. Even with everything my own father did to me, I would never have allowed myself to behave this way. I understand that you tolerate us, and so we will stay here at home. Whenever you want, you are always welcome here at our house with all the love we have for you.”

To us, this response felt very manipulative and victim-like instead of simply acknowledging the issue and saying “I understand, I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.”

Were we overreacting? Or was our boundary reasonable?

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EDITED TO ADD SOME CONTEXT:

My husband’s relationship with his parents has never been particularly strong. My in-laws were, and still are, very absent and neglectful parents in many ways, and that obviously left emotional scars.

I do agree with the people commenting that the reaction in the moment could maybe have been handled differently, but my husband was extremely upset, and his reaction comes from years and years of boundaries being ignored and problems caused by his parents.

Also, in his message he did not say that his mother would never be allowed to hold the baby again forever. He said “for the near future,” meaning for the next visits/weeks, or at least while the baby is still this small and vulnerable.

My MIL never apologized, the only phrase resembling an apology is that “I made a mistake” she wrote in her response. When this happened, she said things like “it was only the top of the head”, “where do you read this from/that never happened in all my years/are you making this up” (when we explained AGAIN about HSV risks) and also that she does “not agree with your rules”. Our rules being wash your hands before holding or touching baby, no kissing, don’t come around if sick.

I could use some reassurance/comparison: my baby is 11 weeks old, almost 12, and over the last 4–5 days I’ve noticed he’s spitting up much more often than before. He’s never had reflux issues and used to spit up very little and not often at all, so I don’t understand why this sudden change is happening.

The spit-ups are fairly frequent (I’d say maybe 5–6 times a day, though I’m not completely sure — I only started tracking them in the app today) and the amount itself doesn’t seem concerning. It usually seems to happen around an hour and a half after the last feeding.

I’m very anxious about managing the spit-up because the other day he turned very red and looked frightened! We turned him onto his side and he managed to clear it himself. It only lasted a few seconds, but it really scared us too.
Now every little cough gives me a mini heart attack 😅

I don’t know if this could be related, but yesterday he also showed some mucus with a bit of blood in his stool. We saw the pediatrician and she is not concerned.

Has this happened to anyone else?

We currently have a manual nasal aspirator, but it doesn’t seem to remove everything.

My baby is 9 weeks old, and since he will continue to breathe exclusively through his nose for quite a while, I’ve been thinking about buying an electric one.

I’ve been looking at the NozeBot, but it’s quite expensive, so I’m wondering - is it really worth it?