u/Old-Cow-7406

Ive posted a few posts before, im sorry theyre so lengthy. I feel sort of desperate, maybe even pathetic asking a bunch of internet strangers for advice but I just need help. Guidance. Maybe from an objective, honest perspective because jm just lost and tired at this point.

I have two men saying they're in love with me and wanting to take care of me. Ive been diagnosed with an illness that will likely kill me in the next few years. Im actively watching my body and health deteriorate in the meantime. Im losing my ability to walk, im having loss of conciousness epsiodes, im easily injured and weak and basically completely medically dependent on others. I have lost my job due to my health and can no longer find work that is manageable for me in my field. Doctors want me in SSI but its been a long and tedious process with little reward. I have a caretaker who comes 4 hours a day, 5 days a week. I feel like as im barely entering g my 20s im watching my life end right before my eyes. I don't really have a support system. Abusive family and all that fun stuff. Im basically on my own. Except for my wonderful care taker and these 2 men. Im at a loss.

I was supposed to move in with 24M in a week, but 20M has told me he is deeply in live with me and does not want me to leave. Theyre both basically offering me the same. They want to financially support me so I dont have to worry about work, they want to help me with my medical (pain management, hospital visits, basically making dying as comfortable as possible), supporting me physically and emotionally. They both say they're in love with me. That I am the love of their life and they are willing to do anything for me.

24m and I dated for a while, there's some troubling history there. He struggles with alcoholism. He lied to me a lot while we were together, made a tinder profile while I was in hospital, after we broke up he stalked and harassed me. Recently I agreed to the idea of moving with him (we're in different areas rn) as he was offering to help and claimed he was willing to change everything to be with me. He's been consistent in showing he means it

20M is my best friend, he recently in the last week admitted he's in live with me after a few discussions about me moving away. We've know eachother for some time and have gotten really close. He's kind but young and naive. But he has been here for me through so much

Both men know about the other and are aware of the situation at hand, both have made it clear they want me to choose them. Im at a loss here. I want to be able to just choose to take space but unfortunately I cannot afford to. Ive tried talking to my case manager but support system is really the best if not only option outside of getting myself admitted. What do I do here? I have a week to make this decision.

My current situation has left me feeling overwhelmed and uncertain of what to do. It's been insane recently and I honestly have gotten to a point where this doesnt even feel real.. I am 21 F, I got diagnosed a few years ago with a degenerative disease and pretty recently they found a malignant mass in my chest as well as a few more masses in my head, throat and on my ovary that havent been tested yet. It's been a lot to try to process. Treatment, if I decide to go through with it but im honestlypretty certain i wont, could cause my initial health issues to worsen. The degenerative disease has no treatment or cure so it's unfortunately just my reality. I dont really have family. My dad and I havent spoken in years after he was arrested for hitting me and my mother and I dont speak because she used to sell me to men. Its been a massive struggle recovering from the events of the last 2 decades. I've been diagnosed with c-PTSD that they believe has also developed FND (somatic symptoms) that has made this whole situation harder. Everyday is a struggle and my doctors don't want me working and have signed me up for a program to have a caretaker at my house 4 hours a day 5 days a week (after negotiatingdown from 7). Ive lost most of my autonomy and independence to this situation. It's been a lot to grieve and a lot to try to manage.

Apart from the medical side of things, my biggest struggle rn is that I have 2 men offering me a life with them. I honestly hate what the situation has become, I don't like that its gotten to a point where im having to consider what these men can offer. I dont like the mindset its put me in. To give context there's a man, We'll call T, he is 24. We dated for about 8 months but we've know each other much longer. Our relationship was rocky and dramatic, we basically said I love you on our first meet, we had some amazing times together but when my health started to deteriorate I just didnt feel he was there dor me and I ended up.trying to break up with him. He begged me to stay and I did, just for my friend to send me a screenshot of his tinder profile that was updated and active recently. He claimed he didnt text or meet anyone and claimed it was because I tried to leave him so he felt the need to prepare. I forgave him and we stayed together. But I found out he had lied to me about multiple things, he eventually tried to kill himself and his alcoholism got worse so I ended things. He's been begging ever since for another chance, reaching out constantly and now he's making claims that he will completely support me as I enter the end of my life. He says he'll pay for everything, he'll become my caretaker, he'll take care of my pup and give me the best possible situation for this transition including traveling which he knows ive always wanted. He says im the love of his life and he just wants to get as much time with me as possible. I would need to move states ro be with him. The history scares me but he's been consistent in his promises recently. He's gotten sober, has been open to communication unlike before and is literally moving his entire life around to take care of me. He swears it's all he wants in life. When things were good with us, they were wonderful, we have great chemistry and we've talked a lot about our plans.

The other man involved is 20 years old, we'll call him K. We met shortly after me and T broke it off. It started off platonic and stayed that way for a while. After a period of not talking for a while we recently reunited and he admitted he was in love with me. We've spent almost everyday together for the last month or two and have gotten to know each other more. My concern is that when ive been having episodes recently (seizures, severe pain, falls, etc.) He tends to freeze and im left handling them alone. The most recent incident I had a severe seizure and ended up injuring my back during it, I was in so much pain I vould barely breathe, K ended up sitting at my feet vaping while I was struggling and then laid down and fell asleep as I was still in the episode. I asked him to leave my house after and the next day he just shut down and refused to talk or interact with me when I invited him back over, he couldnt explain why but expressed insecurity. I have notived some explosive anger issues ghat also worry me. We've been able to recover a bit since and he's promised to do better but it scared me. I recognize that my situation has forced me to mature somewhat quickly on top of previous situations, and i think he's just young and has a lot to learn. He doesn't seem to have any set values or standards for himself which he's admitted to himself. He still has a lot of life to live but has mentioned killing himself when i die, which worries me. He's offering that I move into his backyard, he lives with his mum and brother, and that he'll try to help take care of me the best he can. We are very comfortable with eaxhother. I honestly consider him one of my best friends above all else, we're constantly laughing together.

Both men know about the other and about the decision at hand. Ive tried to be as honest and open with both of them as I possibly can because I dont want to hurt or deceive anyone involved. They've both told me they just want what's best for me and will support either decision but have also made it apparent they want me to choose them. I have until the end of May to make a final decision of whether I stay or go. I do love both of them. I feel as though there's so much clouding ny judgement and thinking though. Making a pros and cons list about human beings feels wrong. Especially when they both have made it clear they have such strong feelings involved in this. I dont want to use or hurt either of them and when I express this they say that im not using them because theyre fully offering and are aware of the situation, but I just dont know how to feel about it. I have so much running through my head and I dont have much support system outside of them and my sister who is very worried and uncertain as well. It's so scary. And im so lost. Any advice or input would be wonderful, I know reddit isnt going to answer my life's problems but I would really appreciate any kind of guidance at this point

My current situation has left me feeling overwhelmed and uncertain of what to do. It's been insane recently and I honestly have gotten to a point where this doesnt even feel real.. I am 21 F, I got diagnosed a few years ago with a degenerative disease and pretty recently they found a malignant mass in my chest as well as a few more masses in my head, throat and on my ovary that havent been tested yet. It's been a lot to try to process. Treatment, if I decide to go through with it but im honestlypretty certain i wont, could cause my initial health issues to worsen. The degenerative disease has no treatment or cure so it's unfortunately just my reality. I dont really have family. My dad and I havent spoken in years after he was arrested for hitting me and my mother and I dont speak because she used to sell me to men. Its been a massive struggle recovering from the events of the last 2 decades. I've been diagnosed with c-PTSD that they believe has also developed FND (somatic symptoms) that has made this whole situation harder. Everyday is a struggle and my doctors don't want me working and have signed me up for a program to have a caretaker at my house 4 hours a day 5 days a week (after negotiatingdown from 7). Ive lost most of my autonomy and independence to this situation. It's been a lot to grieve and a lot to try to manage.

Apart from the medical side of things, my biggest struggle rn is that I have 2 men offering me a life with them. I honestly hate what the situation has become, I don't like that its gotten to a point where im having to consider what these men can offer. I dont like the mindset its put me in. To give context there's a man, We'll call T, he is 24. We dated for about 8 months but we've know each other much longer. Our relationship was rocky and dramatic, we basically said I love you on our first meet, we had some amazing times together but when my health started to deteriorate I just didnt feel he was there dor me and I ended up.trying to break up with him. He begged me to stay and I did, just for my friend to send me a screenshot of his tinder profile that was updated and active recently. He claimed he didnt text or meet anyone and claimed it was because I tried to leave him so he felt the need to prepare. I forgave him and we stayed together. But I found out he had lied to me about multiple things, he eventually tried to kill himself and his alcoholism got worse so I ended things. He's been begging ever since for another chance, reaching out constantly and now he's making claims that he will completely support me as I enter the end of my life. He says he'll pay for everything, he'll become my caretaker, he'll take care of my pup and give me the best possible situation for this transition including traveling which he knows ive always wanted. He says im the love of his life and he just wants to get as much time with me as possible. I would need to move states ro be with him. The history scares me but he's been consistent in his promises recently. He's gotten sober, has been open to communication unlike before and is literally moving his entire life around to take care of me. He swears it's all he wants in life. When things were good with us, they were wonderful, we have great chemistry and we've talked a lot about our plans.

The other man involved is 20 years old, we'll call him K. We met shortly after me and T broke it off. It started off platonic and stayed that way for a while. After a period of not talking for a while we recently reunited and he admitted he was in love with me. We've spent almost everyday together for the last month or two and have gotten to know each other more. My concern is that when ive been having episodes recently (seizures, severe pain, falls, etc.) He tends to freeze and im left handling them alone. The most recent incident I had a severe seizure and ended up injuring my back during it, I was in so much pain I vould barely breathe, K ended up sitting at my feet vaping while I was struggling and then laid down and fell asleep as I was still in the episode. I asked him to leave my house after and the next day he just shut down and refused to talk or interact with me when I invited him back over, he couldnt explain why but expressed insecurity. I have notived some explosive anger issues ghat also worry me. We've been able to recover a bit since and he's promised to do better but it scared me. I recognize that my situation has forced me to mature somewhat quickly on top of previous situations, and i think he's just young and has a lot to learn. He doesn't seem to have any set values or standards for himself which he's admitted to himself. He still has a lot of life to live but has mentioned killing himself when i die, which worries me. He's offering that I move into his backyard, he lives with his mum and brother, and that he'll try to help take care of me the best he can. We are very comfortable with eaxhother. I honestly consider him one of my best friends above all else, we're constantly laughing together.

Both men know about the other and about the decision at hand. Ive tried to be as honest and open with both of them as I possibly can because I dont want to hurt or deceive anyone involved. They've both told me they just want what's best for me and will support either decision but have also made it apparent they want me to choose them. I have until the end of May to make a final decision of whether I stay or go. I do love both of them. I feel as though there's so much clouding ny judgement and thinking though. Making a pros and cons list about human beings feels wrong. Especially when they both have made it clear they have such strong feelings involved in this. I dont want to use or hurt either of them and when I express this they say that im not using them because theyre fully offering and are aware of the situation, but I just dont know how to feel about it. I have so much running through my head and I dont have much support system outside of them and my sister who is very worried and uncertain as well. It's so scary. And im so lost. Any advice or input would be wonderful, I know reddit isnt going to answer my life's problems but I would really appreciate any kind of guidance at this point

What are my options for work?

I have a degenerative disease and recently found out I have cancer on top of that. My doctors are requesting that I not work and get signed up for SSI.

Its a lot easier said than done as im sure most of you know. Ive already been denied once and am working on the process but its taking time and in the meantime I still am financially struggling and don't know what to do.

My spine has deteriorated to a point where I cant really walk without major assistance and thats with a lot of pain and fatigue as a consequence.

I used to do cleaning gigs when I would get into a bad spot like this before but for both safety and logistical reasons it's just not an option anymore.

My physical therapist says I should get a remote job, ive been applying like crazy but it feels like most options these days either fill up fast or are scams so its hard to find anything.

Im open to any suggestions or advice on how to move this process along.

Im already a week late on rent and I'm panicking a bit while also managing all my appointments and care on my own so I know im not thinking straight.

Has anyone had a similar experience