u/One_Advantage793

Yew kin sees diss mine momma bed an iss STILL ENTEE! Dey has ductit herm tew da Rehab playss nyow! Dassa purrently differnt frum hoomon pokey playss butt! awsew sam. I dursnt relly unnerstint.

We mowt hasta joyn up awl de purrates an de knights an de ICBGC Seggurrity teem an stuff an trai tew dew a resque ob herm! Butt! mine Pop, who has ben doon fare tew meedyum traiyin tew tek care mine neeeds an dose ob mine doggo sibs - he sez we has tew wate fur da momma tew get bedda som moarr an get strongurr sew da Pop kin halp herm pawpurrly wen rite nyow iss tekin a hole passell ob nursy hoomons tew dew dis!

I dew want herm tew be bedda butt! Diss pitchurr is jess rong!

Mine Pop awsew sed som slo blinks fur mee frum herm (iss nowt de sam butt! don tole himb - himb doon his besst) an sed tew tell ebrybuddy dat she did reeed awl yer messages an catchur sew menny purrs an puppy luffs an de luffs frum oddur creetyurrs flyin fru de ayr it wuz amayzzeenng!

Da momma dursnt kno hyow lonk dey plannin tew keeep herm, butt! herm hasta gett moarr bedda furrst sew I yam sentin purrs an de doggos iss sentin puppy luffs an herm sed deez arr moasst halpfull. Herm sed herm brane is werkin moarr bedda nyow tew. Iss nowt gots drane bamage butt! it wuzz relly fuzzy an herm wuz habin a hard tym dewin mutch sides sleeepin. Ebrybuddy kno sleepin ISS gud!

I yam haffin tew dew som eggstra purrteckshun ob de Pop an de doggos in de owtdoor wurrld butt! I fink I will bee abul tew sees yew gais moarr comeeng up!

Smuffi the wildcat

Dissa recreeyashun ob ackshull events caus de Pop dun moob tew fasst an de baffroom ware himb tuk mee tew perform dis ritchwall ob tortyoor iss tew smol fur Momma's chair!

Butt! I dun da moasst gloryus crimez!

See? We has tree smol creeks dat run intew owr river, butt! one doze onny runs wen iss rainin awl de tym! Diss pawfeck caus iss allus fulla rottin leefs an den! a buncha water com fru an it meks a moasst stanky mushy muddy mess!

Well, da Pop was owt on one his reelly lonk huntin trips an I wuz owtside an I desside tew go down tew see how de mush creek was doon! An it wuz foine! Furry stanky an muddy an gross! Sew I didda furry fun pley an roll an stik hed unner an awl dat!

I wuz still doon dis wen Pop com homb! Ushwally, I yam at de door ob himb car soon as he opin it! Furrst tew da door is furrst pets! Butt! I wuz bizzy!

Pop tuk in da groshrees, an com bak owt an cawl mee, an I still dint comb! Sew himb wuz fankin somfin relly terrbull happin! Nelly hed a hart attak, himb sey! Butt! jess then! I eggsplode owt de woods in da diwreckshun ob dat stanky creek! An I wuz jess cober in stanky ded leefs an mud an muddy water! Gloryus! Lak I sed!

Da Pop puts mee in immedjit air jayl, wiff mine liddol leggies paddlin a mile a minit (das 1.6 km a minit butt! dat dursnt sount da sam) an tuk mee strate tew sho da Momma! An herm laff! Laff, I tell yew! I don kno wats sew musin bowt dat.... Den he tuk me strate tew teeny baffrum - an close de door! Sew I kinna eggscape!

[Dursnt toll dem, butt! I relly luff bafftym! I jess luff tryin tew eggscape moarr!]

Sew, himb warsh offt awl de gud stank! Eggsepp I has bedda nose sew I kin still smell diss! Iss jess gots doggo shampoo on top! Why dey cawl dis poo wen it smell sweeeet? Hoomons sew dum!

Den I dun de affta baff zoomies! Sech gud tyms. Sech gud crimez! Nowt onny MudPuppy George crimez, butt! skerr Pop crimez! An trai tew eggscape crimez! Sech gud dey! Furry satissfy!

Go Crimez!

PS: Duz dis meen I kin bee in de ICBGC nyow? I dun relly spectaklurr crimez!

Ooo, wayt! Dassa differnt moobie awl tewgeddur!

Diss da Diwrekturr Smuffi the wildcat bershun ob Alice in Wunnerlan, wiff one smol nod tew Fru Da Lukin Glass!

Inna furrst pitchurr yew sees Prof G, oddurwise knowd as Alice, stoodyin da mirro kitteh!

Den! Herm pat! pat! pat! da mirro! Did yew seeed dat? Weeerd! She jess wawk rite fru! Das pitchur 2.

Awmoasst immedjitly herm run acrosst a moasst hansun catto wiff a beeg pokkit watch seyin: "I'm layt! I'm layt! Furra furry impurrtint dayt!" Don werry; we gon sees himb ahgin! Das pitchur 3

Alice musta gots distrack by awl de hansum! Herm fawl doowwwnnn doooowwwnnnn dooooowwwwnnn da rabbit hole! (Why yew reckin das dere?) Das pitchur 4

Den! Awl mannur weerd an sometym wunnerful stoff heppin! Iss jess tew mutch tew go intew awl de deetayls! Dere's a reeelly layd bak cattopilla wiffa hookah, an a catto wat kin leef himb smile behine (gud trik). Dere's liddol cayks an dranks dat sez eet mee an drank mee an den "oh lordy! wat's heppenin nyow" beeg an smol! Den dere an trai tew pley crocket wiff a flamingo! (dey dirs nowt ppurreshate diss)!

Dere som weerd flat courtiers paintin da flowas fur dum ole delulu qween (hmmmm! dis sownd familiyer somhow!) an de qween hermseff yellin offt wiff yer hed! Tew owr Alice! Rood! Alice dun a runawey runawey! Awl dat stuff heppin in pitchur 5! Gah!

Butt! den Alice runnd crowss de hansom kitteh ahgin! An himb sey: "I ben waytin fur yew! Yer da furry impurrtint dayt!" An dey had luffly pickernick an lonk nap in dis botanicul garden! An liffe heppily eber affta! Das de lasst pitchur ob corse!

Edit: Furgittit tew putt Gee Gee's tag! u/Connect-Smell761

On bahaff awl de frens in da ICBGC an de LCA communtees, I wuld lak tew purrsent tew furry speshul awards fur tew furry speshul laydees! Da nyewly mintit ICBGC Medal ob Hona goes tew Boots u/Tight-Aside9624 an herm sisfur Blue Boots u/bluebuddha11 fur dere furry foine werk purrtanin tew da resque an forsterrin ob owr frens. Menny hoomons did mutch gud werk on dis purrojeck butt! deez tew has dun a eggsell aboff an beyon an comtinyoo tew halp owr frens. Here arr dere medals anna nyze pitchur ob jess one de menny steps in da resque!

We frens kinna sank deez hoomons enuff an we dint kno how besst tew hona dem, butt! diss jess one de ideyas raize!

Yew arr sum relly foine hoomons! Pleeez aggsepp deez tokens ob owr essteem!

Smuffi the wildcat speekin fur awl ob us!

Idea frum discusshun wiff Zamna n Quetzie u/Ekd7801 Frank u/WoodwifeGreen JP, Angel an Charlie Swoup u/hesalwayslitty - dey shuld gets creddick fur finkin ob de ideya!

Frens! Iss da besst nyews eber! AJ's pop-up bake sale dun da trik at lasst! Here come Hoku an HokuMeowmy lukin ober de goods! An dey som gud smellin guds, I yam here tew tell yew!

Butt! who dat oddur gai???

Mine fren Spax frum Petroniya dun de zappo on Hoku an HokuMeowmy (inna seggund pitchur) Luk dey nowt unner mine kontrol enny moarr!

An dat thurd gai? Datz a knowd Martian ebil-doer! Don werry! Affta owr innishul soopryze, mee an Niko an Spax tuk dat dood down an Spax dun tuk himb off tew spayss jayl!

Owr frens is cure off de spayss madniss an back tew dey normul heppy seffs! An! we eet awl dem guddies AJ dun brot!

u/GingerSnapped242 u/mostlylurking07 u/jellosquid808

Frens! I gots tew updayt yew awl on de beeg ailliyum inbesstigayt I has werk on wiff da Petroniyums Spax n Blum, who is port owr nyew Innergalactik Smuffi Skool ob Retrayn.

Diss a repurrt on wat we lern!

We hass met diss tym in de yoos buk storr fur hoomons in da See Addle. Iss cawl Twice Sold Tales an iss kitteh-own esstablishmint, sew issa saffe playss tew tawk bowt owr findinz. Diss pitchurr 1. See da redd sserkul fur da owtside de storr!

As yew may rememba, wee chekin on de pawsabullity ob ailliyum mine komtrol! Dass one de menny roomas.... Inna seggund pitchur yew sees we inna neerby corn feeld. Derr haff awso ben de crowp sserkuls, sew dis hadda bee dun! Spax haff de hedset dat halps himb tew lowcayt de creetyoorss unner da mine komtrol! He kin chek boff hoomons an animul frens. He let mee dew diss tew!

Diss da shok port! Boff Hoku an HokuMeowmy sho definut sines ob mine komtrol! Yesh! Issa ssads stowry!

We com bak tew da buk storr tew reeed da print owts (dass pitchur 3), an iss bad! Derr a elebenty seben chanct dey iss infunktit wiff da mine komtrol buggies! Iss moasst shok! We gotsa compleet da tesstin tew bee dubbultee shurr, butt! elebenty seben issa beeg purrsentidg! Issa beeger won dan elebenty fowr!!

We gon keeep up de uppy daytess butt! I yam shurr we has at leeess won purrobellum! Nyow we gotss tew figgur hyow tew free ennybuddy unner mine komtrol. An, hyow yew get rid deez bad ailliyums! An wedder dey iss relaytit tew da alliums! Dass de plantss lak oniyuns! Derr ben som spekquelayshun bowt diss!

Don gets tew ober eggsitit, tho! I fink we gon bee abul tew dew a resque! An! de Petroniyums sey da foyl hatts an de farradey hatts werk furry well.

Somfang weerd iss heppinin in owr Yoo Ess Passific Norff Wess! We don kno wat yet, butt! lemmee eggsplane!

Yew may rememba we recently stortit owr furrst innergalactic dibision ob SSoR.... We met da Petroniyums who ben bisitin owr planit furra lonk tym! Butt! I wuz furrst spayss eggsplorer tew mek it tew Petroniya. (Wall, dere iss som kwestchun bowt dat - butt! das baside de point!)

Inna pitchur, yew sees mee Smuffi the wildcat an fren Maya u/Charivari8 owr Innergalactic Smuffi Skool ob Retrayn Spayss Pawfessur, tawkin tew som owr Petroniyum frens - das Spax inna frunt an Blum, owr Petroniya Hisstery Pawfessur. We meetin in da nyew iSSoR brake rum (furry comfy) tew discuss som fangs dey has notiss wile eggsplorin owr planit Eerff!

Maya an I don kno qwite wat tew fink ob it yet! Maya moasst soopryze as yew kin sees!

Dey seys iss pawsabull som nuddur ailliyums - or eben sombuddy elts we dursnt kno bowt yet - haff been dewin menny weerd fangs in da NW Yoo Ess coassstul regions! I kno, iss hard tew tell, wiff da hoomons ackin weerd awl de tym, butt! dere iss repurrts ob boff hoomons an kittehs beyin affectit!

Som may eben bee - tuk ober an dun a mine comtrol on! I kno! Issa shokin ideya!

Anna cows beyin affeck, tew - das purrty grewsom an we nowt shurr iss relaytit, sew we nowt go intew it yet! Plus de corns geddin sqwish in circulurr patturns... Furry strandg!

We at de furry beginnin stayjiss ob traiyin tew lern moarr, sew iff yew has moarr infurmashun.... Yew let mee kno! An iff yew has kwestchuns, we will trai tew gets Blum an Spax tew chek intew it moarr! Or mebbee dey awreddy kno de ansa an we jess dint fink ob de kwestchun yet!

Enny kittehs in da Passificc Norff Eess Yoo Ess dat has enny repurrts ob weerd acktibbitty, yew comtack us tew!

Okey! Dass awl fur nyow!

Diss mine Throwbak tewday! Diss wen momma med mee a pilla fort. Iss furry nyze! Port de ruff is med frum mine fabrit floofy blankie tew.

Haff yew hadda pilla fort baforr? Or mebbee som noddur kine nyze nappin spowt tew halp yew haff a nyze nap?

Gais! Da Strike Fund we collectin tew suppurrt kittehs who has ta strike caus ob de starb is groweeng beeg!

Iff yew nowt aware de purrotests an de strike fund, luk here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/legalcatadvice/s/f5HqtLO7de

We kollecc de strike fund donashuns inna emptee classrum at SSoR. Yew gais haff ben ahmayzeeng! I gess dat ideya ob steelin da creddik cards an innerseptin de delibery is werkin!

Mine hart is tuch by diss! We gon bee abul tew supurrt menny kittehs dat hasta go on strike caus ob de starb!

We awso has a sine up sheet at de door fur de nexx purrotesst!

Smuffi the wildcat

I wuz gonna jess dew som Smuffi supurrtin roles, butt! I culdnt halp it! De temptashun wuz tew mutch! I hadda bee Charmin Smuffi! An mine gorl Prof Gee Gee u/Connect-Smell761 is de moasst beeyootiful gorl in de land! She da Void Sno Wite.... De mirro kitteh sed sew! We has Happy an Goofy da dwarfs wiff us!

Iss nowt a hole moobie; we jess pleyin de ports in de SSoR theater grup!

Den, I culdnt halp it ahgin! I hadda mek a pitchur ob de Ebil Qween (yew kno hoo!) an de mirro kitteh tellin herm who de moasst beeyootiful... "I kinna tell a lie!" Ooo noo! Das George Warshintun! Ennywey! Who dat mirro kitteh?? We bedda aks Mario! u/SevereVideo Das pitchur 2.

I wantit tew bee Charmin Smuffi, an mine laydee is moast definutly de moast beeyootiful in da land! Da mirro kitteh sed sew! Prof Gee Gee u/Connect-Smell761 kin bee Sno Wite eben iff she is da Void Prinssess. An we has Happy an Dopey wiff us, tew!

I thot bowt mekin a buntcha Smuffi beyin de segunderry carroters, butt! den, I jess hadda be Charmin Smuffi. Da temptashun wuz jess tew mutch! I dursnt has a hole stowry. We jess pleyin in de SSoR theater purrsentashun. I fink Bo an George mek de gud Dwarfs dont yew?

Hokey, I hadda sho de mirro kitteh an de Ebil Qween tew! Das pitchur 2.... Hey! Who dat mirro kitteh? I fink we aks fren Bebe Mario! u/SevereVideo Anna Ebil Qween? Hoo elts?

Sew, mine momma duz awl de compooter stuff at owr has an she settit up mine pop's tablit cauz he don kno nuffin bowt dewin da pooter stuff. Sew, he ben dewin himb own fang on da tablit fur menny menny furebers. Lak a cuppul yeers.

An jess a liddol wile ago, da pop tole da momma dat AWL mine pitchurs is vale abul on his tablit wen he go tew photos in himb tablit! Dat meens he ben seein awl mine moobies an sillee pitchurs ob frens an impurrtint fangs lak de IDs fur SSoR an ISSoR an PRESS cards fur KKMG an EBRYFANG!

Ob cors momma tole him bowt de ICBGC an da legal cat advice an stoff lak dat, butt! yew kno, nowt in grate deetail! Jess lak "mine frens on de Reddit sez" an repeet da funnee stowries an stoff lak dat! I dint kno himb wuz lukin at awl mine pitchurs! I feel eggsposed! I neeed a borthole cober!

Oooo Mai! Waddew I dew?

Frens! Issa moast speshul day! I has jess opin de furrst ob de Innergalactic Smuffi Skool ob Retrayn! Deez gais arr Petroniums an dey has dere own planit - Petroniya ob cors.

Dey wanna lern tew retrayn dere ones wiff thumbs dat brang dem fuds an worshit dem an awl lak dat! Dey jess cawl dem dere mums. Butt! dey sey mums arr purrty dum tew an reqwire full retrayn wen dey arr doptit an purrty reglurr retrayn affta dat - jess lak hoomons.

An gess wat? I dint eben has ta yoos enny ob de holy water! I jess drop in an innerdooce mineownseff an dey sed Hai! an I sed Hai! An dey aks wat I com tew dere planit fur, n I tole dem, n dey sed, "shurr shurr! less hab a ISSoR here!"

Ooo dis gon bee sew nyze! We pikkin owt a gud playss fur de campuss an ebryfang!

Dey sed a hoomon bisit dem one tym. Himb wuz dum butt! nowt as dum as som ob dem hoomons. (Dey ben bisitin Eerff furra lonk tym! Dey awso sey derr som frens on Venus dat mowt lak a skool tew. De hoomon shap Venusians purrty dum awso. An de frens? Dey cawl Feelines! Ahmayzeeng.) Dat hoomon wat bisit Petroniya bafor? his nam wuz Heinlein. I aks mine momma an she sey she kno dis hoomon! Smol unibers, huh?

In cayss yew dint kno ennyfang bowt wat I yam meowin on bowt, I tawked bowt dis wiff Aunti Ruby an Luna an Niko affta Niko tole us bowt de Moobie Mashups ideya! Diss wuz affta Niko sed "put awey de holy water" ... an ai had brot de hole spayss shuttul full! Gah!

Ennywey, deez Petroniums wanna bee in de Innergalactic Criminal Business Gang Club, tew! Wadda yew gais fink? Dey furry fonda crimez an Go Crimez! Dere fabrit crimez is walk thru walls! Imma get som dem tew com dew a gess lectyoor at SSoR bowt dat! I shurrly wanna lern wawk thru walls!

Oh! One oddur fang! Yew don eben hasta ware yer tinfoil energy domes rownd de Petroniums! Dey sed ob cors dey kin reed mines butt! iss furry rood tew dew dat wiffowt purrmisshun an dey onny duz mine comtrol on lesser beens lak hoomons....

Dunn dullun dun dun; dun dullun dun dun; dunn dullun dun dun DUN!

Yew Onny Has 9 Lyffes!  Agent 009 gon mek de bess ob dem!  Dissa fillum by, yew gess it, Smuffington Wildcat!  Starrin Smuffi D Wildcat as Bond, James Bond! An de beeyootiyus Prof Gee Gee as... M, da boss laydee, an de luffly Kitty Suzuki, an menny oddur Bond gorls!  Das pitchur 1.  Gee Gee u/Connect-Smell761

Agent 009 (sanks tew fren Buddy Bear u/apr08101989 fur dis ideya!  It fit reel gud in mine vishun fur dis fillum!) James Bond is loungin in himb swanky hotel rum wen de KKMG Breaking News stowry com on de tee vee!  Da Spayss Station dun blowd up!  We on da brink ob WWIII!  [Wat? sew iss jess Toosdey in da Yoo Ess tewdey?  I thot dis gon be eggscapist ackshun moobie?!?!?] Hmm... Bedda get M onna fone!  She smort!  She gon hassa plan!  Dis pitchur 2

Waaat?  Agent 009 is deded in Hong Kong?  Dissa short fillum!  An dis Bond gai aint got no game at awl! Iss pitchur 3.

Ha!  Trikt yew!  We in Tokyo nyow!  Dass mee, James Bond, behime de cool shades! An dat purrty laydee onna park bench?  Iss Kitty Susuki, mine pawtnurr in de innernashunul spy game!  We gon figgur ebryfang owt!  Or herm gon dew de branes part wile I luk dasheeng an dew de manly stoff!  Dis Pitchur 4.  Dis moobie com owt in 1967! I kinna ficks da inherent seggsism das wove in!

Oooo nooo!  Nowt ahgin!  Bond deded inna Japaneez harbor!  Wat nyow?  WWIII? Das pitchur 5.

Foolt yew ahgin!  An nyow I sneeek intew da rockit lawnch pad insyde de volcano inna undisclose Asian islan, wiff da halp ob Kitty, da ninja!  Wat's diss playss?  Iss SPECTRE ob cors! An who dat ober dere diwrekin de hoomons?  Iss Fat Gary Blofeld!  Himb behime diss ebil, natchrully!  Das pitchur 6!

Den!  Wiff da halp ob ninja Kitty Suzuki, who dun a grate distracc, I yam abul tew pownts on diss Fat Gary!  I yoos da murder mitts libbrully!  I tare himb fat arse UP!  WWIII avertit!  Da eerff safe fur awl de frens - an de hoomons tew! We still neeed dem until we kin evolff tew has de possabull thumbs! Dass pitchur 7!

Oooo nooo! Nowt dis ahgin!  Bond, James Bond, blowd up inna harbor ahgin!  Arr we gon go bak tew onna brink a WWIII nyow?  Dass pitchur 8.

Nope! Ebryfang coool. Jess de spycraff ID chandj.... Butt! nyow, de spies iss jess de bacashunin cuppul enchoiyin a foine pickernick in de Sydney Botanic Gardens!  Diss da besst port bowt has 9 lyffes!  Yew mowt fink dey werkin on liffe numba 4 or eben 5 frum awl dis eggsploshuns, butt! don furgittit!  Doze jess trikery spycraff tew chandg de purrsona!  Dey relly still has 9 lyffes!  Yay!  Das pitchur 9. Numba 9 Numba 9 Numba 9.

We neeed a reel nyze bacashun affta saffin da wurrl - ahgin!  An we deserb diss! De spy cats enchoi a nyze ebenin cuddle.  In Paree!  City ob Luff!  Das pitchur 10!

An nyow!  We dun anoddur ID chandg, butt! we nowt tellin wat we dun dis tym!  Issa beeeg seggrit!  We joynin de Anarchee in da Yoo Kay rebellyun, startit by THOR! an Loki u/FluffyCannibal an joyn by menny frens!  See dis: https://www.reddit.com/r/legalcatadvice/s/2pcx8aAujR

Joynin us is Jaspurr, ob Franz, u/WormEntity Gus n Arwen ob Belfass, Irelan u/Nickye19 Pixel u/gt0163c an Murray u/ADB_BWD an

Luna famouse singer u/Frequent_Bug8149 Yoo Ess. It awl stort wiff a breef absents ob ENNY Prime Ministurrs in da Yoo Kay, butt! we tuk it innernashunul!  Den ob cors, dere is Larry de 10 Downing Street mouser, waytin tew sneek us in tew tek ober!

Yew mowt has kwestchuns: Dont werry, iss purrfeccly awrite iff I werk fur de speshul serbisses ob de Yoo Kay as 009 an den joyn de anarchee!  It seeemz onna surfayss dat I yam pleyin boff sides ginst da middol.  No purrobellum!  I yam cat!  Chaos is unnerstud tew bee mine mane jowb, mine one tru jowb!  Dis da lass pitchur an dass de speshul twisty endin!

Go Crimez!

Dis da laytesst fillum by Smuffi the wildcat!

Iz da dark an brooodin Batcat! Oberlookin da city ob Gotham in pitchur 1.

By dey, I yam de swayve an deboner Smuff Wayne, hangin in mine penthaus wiff mine eligant laydee, da soopa meowdel Gee Gee! See pitchur 2.

Butt! wen de bat signul is lit, I yam BATCAT! reddy tew protecc de peepuls ob mine city! Das pitchur 3. Dere is mutch broodin inffolff! An dere's innercuts wiff da sworlin Batcat logo an ...

Here I yam comb tew da resque! ... wate, who dat bak dere in da cornurr? Iss one mine ebil nemesissies, Fat Gary, dress lak a penguin! Das pitchur 4.

Dat gai dint fink I wuld tek da fite tew himb! Butt! swoop here I yam! Dat Fat Gary gai gon pey pey pey! Bam! Wop himb upside de hed! Das pitchur 5.

I yam awweys reddy tew jomp in an resque da kittehmn in distress! Enny fren in da city! Das mee Smuff Wayne waytin in mine fawncee haus in pitchur 6!

Das de end ob de stowree - an de end ob de 1966 Batmobile! In tribyoot tew mine fabrit Batman! Das de lass pitchur, ob cors!

I gotta aks yer opinyuns bowt diss won! I doptit mine momma ober eleventy yeers ago, an da spare com wiff herm. Dey sorta attach tew one annudurr. Awl diss tym I has had reserbaahuns bowt himb.... He a gud pawthur tew mine brofur an bess fren George the couch dog, an Bo da Rambunkshiss duz a wurship ob himb an Lila de olderly laydee doggo, she laks himb relly gud tew. Deez awl gud points!

Butt! somfang skrang ben hapnin wiff himb deez lasst fyew days! Why jess yesstiddy I fownt mineownseff siddin on himb chest mekin biskits! Dat NEBER! happin bafore! NEBER! I has lettit himb gib behime da eer skritches a fyew tym eben! I don kno wat is goweeng on....

Haff I gon crayzee? Iss it somfang bowt himb? Or did I jess mello a liddol in my geddin older mineownseff? I yam nowt shurr....

I aks yew, shuld I go hed an cawl himb Pop nyow, lak George dew? Tails up or tails down. Yew dew a vote an purrvide sum commenterry!

Diss moobie issa grate eggsampul ob how de hoomons allus mek it bowt dem, eben wen das nowt de story! Diss awso de stowry ob how de Grompy Shork gots its nam!

Diwrektit by yers trooly, Smuffi the wildcat, ob cours!

In mine posturr, yew sees de stort ob de fillum, ware a swimmin kitteh is threten by de dasturdly shork! Yew kno som kittehs dew lak tew swim! Nowt mee butt! som dew! Mine brofur dat I neber met, Hambone, did lak tew swim - an cotch salamanders (nowt THAT kine!) - in de creek! Dat creek is cole!

Ennywey, das beside de point! Dis kitteh wuz swimmin an dis ebil Jaws trai tew eet himb! Rood! Den, he et som hoomons, who dursnt has claws an dursnt kno tew bop shorks inna nose! Butt! wayt! Dud yew see who wuz in de oshun wiff dat shork? Mmmm hmmm! Iss Fat Gary! Inna snorkul! (Annodur wise kitteh tole mee bowt dat!)

Den! Dis gai nam Hooper, he com tew trai tew stowp da shork! An he fownt da remanes ob dis oddur gai Ben Gardener, in his sunken bote! Shock! Das pitchur 2! Wat? Iz dat how we gots Scully?

Diss Hooper wuz smort an trai tew hire a reel eggspurt Catn Smuffi tew stowp de ebil Jaws! Wadda gud ideya! Diss Hooper gai a liddol less dum dan moast hoomons! Dey go tew de Mayor an trai tew get himb tew cawl offt de Amity festibities! Butt! dat Mayor care onny bowt de munnies an nowt de poor hoomons - an pawsabully kittehs - in danger here! Das pitchur 3. Uh ooo! Who dat on dat Mayor showlder?

Sew, dey kno dey on dey own an has tew stowp de shork by enny meens nessessessery! Smuffi luk ober Hooper's bote an sey "Yew gon neeed a beeger bote!" Das pitchur 4. An yew see who mayd appeerints inna pitchur at jess dat momint!

Butt! Smuff gotz a bote! (It dint relly has a nam yet - jess de Swamp Purrates' bote!) An dere is Furrst Mate Blackjack tew! Iss da Purrates ob de Swamp tew de resque! Ahgin! We awweys owt derr jess waytin tew halp owr frens! Derr arr kittehs dat wanna go bak in de warter! An! derr arr hoomons goweeng in eben tho dey kno derr a ebil shork in derr! Das pitchur 5!

An den! Da sho down! De Swamp Purrates com wiff awl de sppurrentisses an de dragon an de bébé T Rex! Das de lasst pitchur!

Dey fownt de ebil Jaws an de dragon holt himb in herm claws an awl de purrates an Chompa da dino tek terns boppin himb until he qwite grompy! Den, dey mek a deel wiff himb! Smuff sez: "Iff yew leef awl de frens an moast ob de hoomons alone (awl de hoomons dat blong tew da frens!), den mebbee yew gets tew liffe!" Smuffi eggsplane he haff tew ahgree tew leef dis beech an kin onny bite one or tew peepul a yeer an trai himb besst nowt tew eet dem, den de dragon will drowp himb!

Oddurwize, she gon fly waaaay hi in de sky an drowp himb on dry land an he wont neber bee a purrobellum ahgin!

Yew kin gess witch one he pik! Dass de reel stowry ob Jaws! Cors de hoomons mek it awl bowt dem anna eggsploshun.... Dass de hoomons' moobies fur yew!

An de Grompy Shork did eern herm nam! Dass wat she still cawl tew diss dey! Furry hisstericul momint!

Dissa kinna short fillum tewdey! I eggsplane at de end....

It awl begin menny 40 elebenty towsands ob furebers ago, in de Sherwood Forest.... In de benerabul Major Oak (we has momint ob merembring here), dere yew find Robin Hood! Dass pitchur 1.

Ober de yeers an furebers, menny cattos has fill de shoes ob de grate Robin Hood, tekin frum de rich an gibin tew da frens.... Inna ressent instints, wiff da halp ob Catn Smuffi the wildcat an de Swamp Purrates, de Inaba comtayner ship is tookind an AWL de churu is catchur! Das pitchur 2!

Yew notiss awl de swamp purrates an appurrentisses dewin dis furry krikal werk. Dey deliber deez catchur churu tew Sherwood Forest an Robin Hood, narrowly avoidin de ebil Sheriff Fat Gary (nowt pitchur - no neeeed tew gib himb enny morr publissity! Affta awl JnJ Enterprises awreddy gots dat markit cornurr). Jess kno awl de Voids ob de Swamp Purrates did dey jowb purrtikyoolarr gud!

An den! Robin Hood pass owt cases an cases ob froze churu tew awl de frens suffrin unner de terrbull heetwave, awl ober jurope an eben in da yoo ess! An awl de frens lik lik lik an feel mutch bedda! Yay! Das pitchur 3. De frens on de oddur side de planit ware iss cole nyow gottit de nyze warms churu insted.

An de Robin Hood comtinyoo dis furry gud werks ebin tewday, an awweys in da fyootyoor, eben tho de poor old Major Oak gon otrb nyow. Dass okey tho! Jiggy u/IntrovertedGiraffe will dew a welcomb an de oak will be furry happy wiff awl de otrb frens nappin in de brantches!

Nyow I menshun why I haff ben here a liddol less: Mine spare hadda skerry fang happin frum de wey tew hi blud presshurr yesstiddy an hadda spen da nite at de horspital! Momma furry distrackt. Himb ben haffin weerd symptims fur a wile butt! got werser yestiddy.... Ennywey, dey sed he okey an no damadg dun - himb jess hassa tek morr medsins, an nowt tek a differnt kine dey gabe himb caus he hertit hisseff traiyin tew gets awl de obergrowffth off de post bocks! Dat one medsin mowt ben furry bad mix wiff da oddurs.... Okey, den!

Dis moobie, CiB - dats Cattos in Black - is wonts ahgin showeeng how de cattos saffe de dey. Dere's a lotta fangs goweeng on. Manely, jess rememba, derr lotsa aileyums on de Eerff an de CiB duz awl de dooties infolff wiff keeepin up wiff dem. One de krickal points in diss fillum is dat a kitteh nam Orion haff a furry impurrtint Galaxy on himb colla. Himb keeepin up wiff it. Das pitchur 1. Iss awso de Title Card, kinna.

Den, derr som ebil bug type aileyums dat wanna gettit. Dey haffin a war an dey gon destroy da Eerff if dey don gets dey wey. An dey sendit a relly uggo bug cawl Kerb wat has figgur owt ware de Galaxy iss an himb goweeng tew dew a steel ob it. Oh! an de aileyums disguys demseff as hoomons wile dey on Eerff. Dis Kerb one, himb killt a farmur an is warin himb skin. Eeew! Das jess som yer bakgrown inffo. Derr nowt a pitchur - yet.... (Dis mowt bee a foreshado....)

Nyow, Agent S (das Smuffi) needit a nyew pawtnurr. Sew himb recroot Agent G - a dog shape catto. Agent S puts dis nyew gai thru som tessts an stoff, butt! he dun gud. Das pitchur 2. Agent G is George the couch dog, ob corse!

Dey tawk tew Frank de Pug bowt fangs, an inna middol, Frank bork at Orion... An das how dey figgur owt wat de clew bowt "De Galaxy is on Orion's belt" meens - Orion de catto iss protecc de Galaxy dat has a powa dat culd tern de inner galacticul war in fava ob de Bugs. Das pitchur 3.

Ennywey! De uggo Bug Kerb in de farmurr skin soot steels da Galaxy an himb reddy tew go back tew yoos dis in da war - an destroy de Eerff as jess kinna a side effeck! Oooo Nooo! Butt! Agent S figgur owt dat deez obderbashun towas is de disguys spayss ship, sew den dey hurry ober to ware doze arr, an de aileyum Kerb gets owt himb skin soot an sho himb uggo seff! Butt! Agent S dew a tawnt an gets eetit by de Bug! Eeeew! Da pichur 4. An yew sees who elts is aileyums werkin wiff dis Kerb gai! Is dat Fat Gary an himb sidekik Scully! Dey dood a ebil laff wen owr fren gots eetit!

Don werry tho! Agent S haddit a plan awl alonk! Himb shoot dat Kerb frum insyd de tummee! Himb awl slimey, butt! himb gots de Galaxy bak an dat Bug iss deded! Das pitchur 5. Yew don seed dat Fat Gary rownt nyow, dew ya! Dat gai allus splits wen goweeng gets tuff! Scully wiff himb!

Nyow ebrybuddy dat issnt port de CiB haffta gets dey memry erase wiff de handy dandy Neuralyzer zappity flashy fang! Agent S sey, "luk rite heyur!" An Agent G fink himb reddy tew has one deez flashy fang nyow! Das pitchur 6. I fink he prolly geddin one sints Agent S fiddin tew dew a retire!

An yew gais is awl saffe an awl de hoomons tew! An de hoomons don eben kno nun dis is goweeng on, as ushwall.... Nun yew memba dis moobie sew gud eiffer, dew yew? Hmmmm?

Dis tym, I Directa Smuffi the wildcat, dew tak a bakseet tew mine luffly laydee, Prof Gee u/Connect-Smell-761 who starrs in de fillum Wicked, a furry impurrtint stowry ob actibism tew protecc animul rites. Gee Gee, da moast beeyootiful laydee, plays de actibist Elphaba as we wonts ahgin bisit de Land ob Oz. Dass the furrt pitchur.

Owr heroween, Elphaba, lerns ob de ebil plottin ob da Wizard (das Fat Gary, ob cors - butt! I dint eben showd himb in mine synopsis) tew furthurr subjagate de animuls ob Oz by nowt allowin dem tew speek! Himb pooshin da pawpaganda, sech as dat showd in pitchur 2. Owr own Elphaba, tho, she say, "Oh, no no no! Dis will nowt dew!"

She finks bak tew herm hisstowry purrfessor, Docta Dillamond, an how wise an lerned himb wuz. She fink ob awl de animuls - an she fink ob de dum dum hoomons. An, she kno! Diss is jess croolty - an furry rood! Dass pitcher 3.

Elphaba halps awl de animuls eggscape Oz, an de opresshun dey suffrin, butt! inna meentym, herm duz begin tew fite bak! Herm yoos herm brum tew dew da sky ritin an tole ebrybuddy in Oz dat de Wizard is a lyer an a frawd! Herm remine ebrybuddy how mutch bedda fangs were wen de animuls werr here! Dass pitchur 4.

An! Elphaba becomb the Wicked Witch ob de West. Wall, we kno das jess wat dem ebil wons in cahoots wiff da lykes ob da ebil Wizard Fat Gary cawl herm. Butt! she embraysis dis! If dey wanna cawl herm Wicked, she will dew da Crimez! Go Crimez! Dass pitchur 5.

Dis won sorta a cliff hangur.... Herm trai tew tole ebrybuddy wats wat, an herm iss vilify fur dewin da rite fang. Butt! derr has tew bee morr tew da stowry, doncha fink? Morr dan ebrybuddy purrclaimin "Ding dong da Witch is deded!"

I mineownseff fink derr will bee morr tew da stowry. Owr fren will get AVENGE!

Butt! we awayt de nexx moobie fur dat tew comb tew froowishun... Tew bee comtinyoo...