u/OptimalCobbler5431

I'm on around 3.5 weeks and I've noticed this week that I'm a lot more screamy/jumpy.

(I grabbed a plant and there was cute crab spider in it but I wasn't expecting it and the other night my toddler who's learning the world said bug as I was reading a book. I looked down to see a small centipede and I screamed and smashed it) My daughter looked confused as I normally don't act this way (she's almost two) I don't want her to be afraid of bugs like I am (sometimes))

Is this a common symptom on the medication permanently or is this temporary?

I don't know what to bring up with my doctor, I go to therapy but they don't talk about trauma or hard stuff they're more skill building.

I'm scared of leaving my house and it's only gotten worse since becoming a parent. Whenever I consider it, the thoughts of the wasps/hornets outside our front porch scare me, then I think we'll if I can get past that I can go on a walk but then I think about what would go wrong.

What if someone trafficks me and my daughter? (We live in a rural area) What if someone decides to speed and not look where they're going and hit us? What if the dogs shit and piss on the floor because we aren't home? (This happened once before and it was a mess everywhere I think they barked the poop and pee out of themselves since one dog was gone) When it comes to wanting to leave the house I have horrible intrusive thoughts about what people would do to us. People I know have gone missing because they were in a rural area and it's just a paralyzing fear. I don't even leave my house to take the trash to the dumpster I only leave the house when my husband is home.

When I lived by myself (I was thinking smoking weed was making me think like this) I was alone in a new town I wasn't familiar with and I thought that everyone in the town hated me or had a vendetta against me (I was getting out of a relationship with someone who did have a pretty popular last name so if you brought them up most people knew them) people wouldn't smile and just seemed overall angry at me (I tried to always tell myself it's in my head and theyre probably just having a bad day) but I never left my house.

The thoughts got worse as I got older the more I realized I had gotten lucky to not be taken as a child... Then I started realizing how unhinged some people are and how easily someone could switch just like that and do something horrific. I want help but I don't know how to bring it up to a doctor and have them believe me. I did well during the spring time until the wasps and hornets got worse... I was gardening every day and having fun outside with my daughter... Then again I was drinking so maybe that's why I was able to go outside

I don't smoke weed or nicotine anymore and haven't for 2 years. I haven't drank since starting a new medication. I take Adderall XR 25 mg and Wellbutrin XL 150mg the Wellbutrin is a newer medication around 2 weeks. More background is I've had paranoia fits ever since I was a child theyve just gotten progressively worse and worse. As a child it was me turning every light on in the house and locking the doors or sprinting home because I thought I was being followed.

Female 24 190 lb 5'4 started around age 8 I'm assuming I never truly noticed any issues as an adult as 95% of my waking life was spent at work I would sleep until I had to go to work, work, and then I would scroll on my phone until I slept. That caused a lot of issues as I didn't really clean unless it was getting bad.

I don't know what to bring up with my doctor, I go to therapy but they don't talk about trauma or hard stuff they're more skill building.

I'm scared of leaving my house and it's only gotten worse since becoming a parent. Whenever I consider it, the thoughts of the wasps/hornets outside our front porch scare me, then I think we'll if I can get past that I can go on a walk but then I think about what would go wrong.

What if someone trafficks me and my daughter? (We live in a rural area) What if someone decides to speed and not look where they're going and hit us? What if the dogs shit and piss on the floor because we aren't home? (This happened once before and it was a mess everywhere I think they barked the poop and pee out of themselves since one dog was gone) When it comes to wanting to leave the house I have horrible intrusive thoughts about what people would do to us. People I know have gone missing because they were in a rural area and it's just a paralyzing fear. I don't even leave my house to take the trash to the dumpster I only leave the house when my husband is home.

When I lived by myself (I was thinking smoking weed was making me think like this) I was alone in a new town I wasn't familiar with and I thought that everyone in the town hated me or had a vendetta against me (I was getting out of a relationship with someone who did have a pretty popular last name so if you brought them up most people knew them) people wouldn't smile and just seemed overall angry at me (I tried to always tell myself it's in my head and theyre probably just having a bad day) but I never left my house.

The thoughts got worse as I got older the more I realized I had gotten lucky to not be taken as a child... Then I started realizing how unhinged some people are and how easily someone could switch just like that and do something horrific. I want help but I don't know how to bring it up to a doctor and have them believe me. I did well during the spring time until the wasps and hornets got worse... I was gardening every day and having fun outside with my daughter... Then again I was drinking so maybe that's why I was able to go outside

I don't smoke weed or nicotine anymore and haven't for 2 years. I haven't drank since starting a new medication. I take Adderall XR and Wellbutrin XL the Wellbutrin is a newer medication around 2 weeks. More background is I've had paranoia fits ever since I was a child theyve just gotten progressively worse and worse. As a child it was me turning every light on in the house and locking the doors or sprinting home because I thought I was being followed.

We've been living in our current house (a small manufactured home with LOTS of issues) for a couple years now. We got it on a whim because my partners mom got it on auction and the house we were living in previously had no running water or plumbing. We got pregnant and by a miracle had this place.

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Here's where my question comes. I know there's a chance before we pay off this mortgage and buy another house but we need to make some sort of renovations to make life a little more livable or even make the place sellable. We have many issues with incomplete renovations from the previous owners. Here are the problems we face:

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-mice getting into the floor vents, in the cabinets by the sink, the gas line and under the shower (probably more)

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-leaking HVAC vent

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-possible leaky pipe that is leading to a bigger problem

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-previous water damage from a tenant that used incorrect toilet paper and messed up the plumbing

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-not enough space for stuff and the sheds we have we can't use due to mice

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-wasps getting into siding and roof due to how it was installed

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There's definitely more smaller issues but overall we aren't happy where we are and we don't know if we should renovate a lot and make it more livable or if we should sell early and get a VA loan and find something better. He makes around 77k a year, I cannot work otherwise i would lose good healthcare and even our daughter might.

ETA: our loan was 96k

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TLDR Should I renovate the shit box to make life more bearable and then sell or do the bare minimum and sell early and find something better? Or have any other option I haven't considered?

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I'm considering just getting a roll of duct tape at this point. I can't run because every time I try I get broken blood vessels/bruising. No bra is supportive enough or fits right. I'm a 38J supposedly but with sports bras it's hard to find the correct size. Would it hurt me to tape everything down or do you have any advice? I want to be active without being in pain. It's not that I have a lot of boobage but I do have a lot of tissue that's been stretched out from breastfeeding.

I've been considering another baby but I don't know if it's what I'm truly ready for. A part of me wants to love a new little human but I absolutely HATED pregnancy and the one year postpartum. I wasn't safe to drive from the brain fog, I lost so much sleep due to cosleeping/contact napping. My baby girl is 19 months and I thought I was done but I've been having doubts.

What if she would be happier with a sibling? I see how she wants to interact with kids and we tried play dates but the other kid behaved quite poorly (long story). I had always wanted to go back and raise her all over again and so I was always firm that I didn't want another kid I just wanted MY baby all over again. But then this feeling of her playing with a sibling came over me. Maybe due to Bluey?

I'm torn and would like some advice. My mental health is bad still but I know to keep them in the same age range I would need a baby soon. I don't know why I'm considering it so bad right now. I don't have baby fever, I have the same feeling I had when I decided to have my current kiddo. I'm worried about money, mental health, being able to still have a life with a kid, etc

(I also had a C-section that was induced)

We have a huge shed that we can't use because whatever goes out there will get covered with mouse droppings (we live next to two farms (corn across the road) this is so much wasted room plus we have a small mobile home so space is needed 😞 if I'm SOL that's also ok

Like the question/header states? What does a bad egg look like/smell like for you???