u/Ordinary_Summer_1630

Im 21 years old, been in 3 relationships and each one ive been cheated on multiple times.

My first relationship ive posted in this group about. I was 16 at the time, he was 24. We were together for 3 years, and there was significant abuse along with an insane amount of cheating. Im talking new girls every week, multiple of them. Thanks to incredible people in my life, I finally escaped that. Of course with a toll to my mental health and trust.

As i was fresh out of that relationship at 19 years old, I stumbled upon another relationship. I wasnt searching for anything, but I met a sweet boy who was only a year older than me. My trust was low, anxiety high. I brought a lot of fear to that relationship and I know my mistakes, unfortunately there was also a lack of loyalty in that relationship causing it to end a short 8 months later.

I was single for 6 months and found myself on tinder. Not looking for anything serious. I was doing better. Looking after myself, mentally healing. Therapy. The whole lot. Went on a date with a guy, and clicked instantly. We took it slow. I tried for over 2 months to push feelings down. I told him countless times, didnt want anything serious, had a rough past, didnt trust anyone and blah blah. I know i should've stayed alone, I know i should've protected my peace and stayed single. And youd think by now id know what a red flag looked like. But, I fell in love with him. Hard. He made my world go quiet. I felt calm. I felt peace for the first time in years. I genuinly believed that he was sent to me by the universe as an apology for all the bs id been through as a teenager.

Well, I went travelling in January. He encouraged me to follow my dreams. He would call me daily. Facetime. Talk to me. Then he started changing. Honestly, became a real asshole and didnt treat me too well. I tried so hard to fix it. Tried so hard to support him through what he was dealing with. He ended it May 9th. Then we started chatting again, and since he's being deployed for the next 2 years, we agreed i could come back to spend a month with him before he left. Our relationship seemed to go well again. We were back to "us"

Man was i wrong. Cheated the whole time. 4 different girls, that I KNOW about. I got in contact with 2 of them (gained two friends lol). But all other evidence was deleted (as per my request in a hysterical state). I decided to stay. I think i may genuinely be losing my mind because the day after I found out, I took him to get sized for an engagement ring. Guess the messed up part in my brain thinks thatll make him stay loyal. This little ring we wear now is like my last cling of hope and reassurance that he wont do it again

Anyways thats a short version of all the crap that ive dealt with. But im at a point where im 21, my only 3 relationships have been full of cheating. I know everyone says its not my fault, but im the common factor. Like.. I just dont know what to do. Of course I need to be on my own. I guess need to build a backbone and walkaway at the first red flag. Learn some self respect and protect my peace. I know all that. But its so hard to feel that its not partially my fault. I mean 3 different guys, my only relationships. Is loyalty just not a thing anymore? Its exhausting and I question myself daily on what I could've done different. Who i could've been for them. If I was enough, or maybe too much. I love loving people. I love giving love. I love taking care of people. I love being a girlfriend. I love love. But I feel like i attract the worst types of people and I dont know how to even begin to believe genuine true love exists again. Feels like no one loves the way I do

Im 21 years old, been in 3 relationships and each one ive been cheated on multiple times.

My first relationship ive posted in this group about. I was 16 at the time, he was 24. We were together for 3 years, and there was significant abuse along with an insane amount of cheating. Im talking new girls every week, multiple of them. Thanks to incredible people in my life, I finally escaped that. Of course with a toll to my mental health and trust.

As i was fresh out of that relationship at 19 years old, I stumbled upon another relationship. I wasnt searching for anything, but I met a sweet boy who was only a year older than me. My trust was low, anxiety high. I brought a lot of fear to that relationship and I know my mistakes, unfortunately there was also a lack of loyalty in that relationship causing it to end a short 8 months later.

I was single for 6 months and found myself on tinder. Not looking for anything serious. I was doing better. Looking after myself, mentally healing. Therapy. The whole lot. Went on a date with a guy, and clicked instantly. We took it slow. I tried for over 2 months to push feelings down. I told him countless times, didnt want anything serious, had a rough past, didnt trust anyone and blah blah. I know i should've stayed alone, I know i should've protected my peace and stayed single. And youd think by now id know what a red flag looked like. But, I fell in love with him. Hard. He made my world go quiet. I felt calm. I felt peace for the first time in years. I genuinly believed that he was sent to me by the universe as an apology for all the bs id been through as a teenager.

Well, I went travelling in January. He encouraged me to follow my dreams. He would call me daily. Facetime. Talk to me. Then he started changing. Honestly, became a real asshole and didnt treat me too well. I tried so hard to fix it. Tried so hard to support him through what he was dealing with. He ended it May 9th. Then we started chatting again, and since he's being deployed for the next 2 years, we agreed i could come back to spend a month with him before he left. Our relationship seemed to go well again. We were back to "us"

Man was i wrong. Cheated the whole time. 4 different girls, that I KNOW about. I got in contact with 2 of them (gained two friends lol). But all other evidence was deleted (as per my request in a hysterical state). I decided to stay. I think i may genuinely be losing my mind because the day after I found out, I took him to get sized for an engagement ring. Guess the messed up part in my brain thinks thatll make him stay loyal. This little ring we wear now is like my last cling of hope and reassurance that he wont do it again

Anyways thats a short version of all the crap that ive dealt with. But im at a point where im 21, my only 3 relationships have been full of cheating. I know everyone says its not my fault, but im the common factor. Like.. I just dont know what to do. Of course I need to be on my own. I guess need to build a backbone and walkaway at the first red flag. Learn some self respect and protect my peace. I know all that. But its so hard to feel that its not partially my fault. I mean 3 different guys, my only relationships. Is loyalty just not a thing anymore? Its exhausting and I question myself daily on what I could've done different. Who i could've been for them. If I was enough, or maybe too much. I love loving people. I love giving love. I love taking care of people. I love being a girlfriend. I love love. But I feel like i attract the worst types of people and I dont know how to even begin to believe genuine true love exists again. Feels like no one loves the way I do

Im 21 years old, been in 3 relationships and each one ive been cheated on multiple times.

My first relationship ive posted in this group about. I was 16 at the time, he was 24. We were together for 3 years, and there was significant abuse along with an insane amount of cheating. Im talking new girls every week, multiple of them. Thanks to incredible people in my life, I finally escaped that. Of course with a toll to my mental health and trust.

As i was fresh out of that relationship at 19 years old, I stumbled upon another relationship. I wasnt searching for anything, but I met a sweet boy who was only a year older than me. My trust was low, anxiety high. I brought a lot of fear to that relationship and I know my mistakes, unfortunately there was also a lack of loyalty in that relationship causing it to end a short 8 months later.

I was single for 6 months and found myself on tinder. Not looking for anything serious. I was doing better. Looking after myself, mentally healing. Therapy. The whole lot. Went on a date with a guy, and clicked instantly. We took it slow. I tried for over 2 months to push feelings down. I told him countless times, didnt want anything serious, had a rough past, didnt trust anyone and blah blah. I know i should've stayed alone, I know i should've protected my peace and stayed single. And youd think by now id know what a red flag looked like. But, I fell in love with him. Hard. He made my world go quiet. I felt calm. I felt peace for the first time in years. I genuinly believed that he was sent to me by the universe as an apology for all the bs id been through as a teenager.

Well, I went travelling in January. He encouraged me to follow my dreams. He would call me daily. Facetime. Talk to me. Then he started changing. Honestly, became a real asshole and didnt treat me too well. I tried so hard to fix it. Tried so hard to support him through what he was dealing with. He ended it May 9th. Then we started chatting again, and since he's being deployed for the next 2 years, we agreed i could come back to spend a month with him before he left. Our relationship seemed to go well again. We were back to "us"

Man was i wrong. Cheated the whole time. 4 different girls, that I KNOW about. I got in contact with 2 of them (gained two friends lol). But all other evidence was deleted (as per my request in a hysterical state). I decided to stay. I think i may genuinely be losing my mind because the day after I found out, I took him to get sized for an engagement ring. Guess the messed up part in my brain thinks thatll make him stay loyal. This little ring we wear now is like my last cling of hope and reassurance that he wont do it again

Anyways thats a short version of all the crap that ive dealt with. But im at a point where im 21, my only 3 relationships have been full of cheating. I know everyone says its not my fault, but im the common factor. Like.. I just dont know what to do. Of course I need to be on my own. I guess need to build a backbone and walkaway at the first red flag. Learn some self respect and protect my peace. I know all that. But its so hard to feel that its not partially my fault. I mean 3 different guys, my only relationships. Is loyalty just not a thing anymore? Its exhausting and I question myself daily on what I could've done different. Who i could've been for them. If I was enough, or maybe too much. I love loving people. I love giving love. I love taking care of people. I love being a girlfriend. I love love. But I feel like i attract the worst types of people and I dont know how to even begin to believe genuine true love exists again. Feels like no one loves the way I do

Im 21 years old, been in 3 relationships and each one ive been cheated on multiple times.

My first relationship ive posted in this group about. I was 16 at the time, he was 24. We were together for 3 years, and there was significant abuse along with an insane amount of cheating. Im talking new girls every week, multiple of them. Thanks to incredible people in my life, I finally escaped that. Of course with a toll to my mental health and trust.

As i was fresh out of that relationship at 19 years old, I stumbled upon another relationship. I wasnt searching for anything, but I met a sweet boy who was only a year older than me. My trust was low, anxiety high. I brought a lot of fear to that relationship and I know my mistakes, unfortunately there was also a lack of loyalty in that relationship causing it to end a short 8 months later.

I was single for 6 months and found myself on tinder. Not looking for anything serious. I was doing better. Looking after myself, mentally healing. Therapy. The whole lot. Went on a date with a guy, and clicked instantly. We took it slow. I tried for over 2 months to push feelings down. I told him countless times, didnt want anything serious, had a rough past, didnt trust anyone and blah blah. I know i should've stayed alone, I know i should've protected my peace and stayed single. And youd think by now id know what a red flag looked like. But, I fell in love with him. Hard. He made my world go quiet. I felt calm. I felt peace for the first time in years. I genuinly believed that he was sent to me by the universe as an apology for all the bs id been through as a teenager.

Well, I went travelling in January. He encouraged me to follow my dreams. He would call me daily. Facetime. Talk to me. Then he started changing. Honestly, became a real asshole and didnt treat me too well. I tried so hard to fix it. Tried so hard to support him through what he was dealing with. He ended it May 9th. Then we started chatting again, and since he's being deployed for the next 2 years, we agreed i could come back to spend a month with him before he left. Our relationship seemed to go well again. We were back to "us"

Man was i wrong. Cheated the whole time. 4 different girls, that I KNOW about. I got in contact with 2 of them (gained two friends lol). But all other evidence was deleted (as per my request in a hysterical state).

Anyways thats a short version of all the crap that ive dealt with. But im at a point where im 21, my only 3 relationships have been full of cheating. I know everyone says its not my fault, but im the common factor. Like.. I just dont know what to do. Of course I need to be on my own. I guess need to build a backbone and walkaway at the first red flag. Learn some self respect and protect my peace. I know all that. But its so hard to feel that its not partially my fault. I mean 3 different guys, my only relationships. Is loyalty just not a thing anymore? Its exhausting and I question myself daily on what I could've done different. Who i could've been for them. If I was enough, or maybe too much. I love loving people. I love giving love. I love taking care of people. I love being a girlfriend. I love love. But I feel like i attract the worst types of people and I dont know how to even begin to believe genuine true love exists again. Feels like no one loves the way I do

So im new to all this. I havent been with my partner long (coming up on a year), and most has been distance. Both with me leaving for travel/work, and him now leaving for deployment for the next 2 years. Currently we are looking at about 3 years total of distance with no chance for us to be fully together until at least June 2029.

I came home after 4 months to him just to find out he had cheated. With 4 separate girls. Ive been wearing my ring still, I decided to stay.. but I leave in 2 days and I have no idea when the next time ill see him is. Im not really sure what im looking for here, but has anyone else gone through this and made it work with the distance? Recovering in a relationship after infidelity is hard enough as is when you arent long distance (trust me I know, been through this many times 🤦‍♀️), but ive never tried to repair and build a relationship after infidelity long distance. With the work he does, the work i do. The time differences. Me going back to school to finish my degree. Im just at a loss on what steps to even take, things to implement, discussions to have. How to build that trust again.

We dont have kids. We dont own anything together. Really theres nothing financial or "serious" I suppose that would make a split difficult. I just dont think I have the strength to leave and I guess I would rather see him put the work in and help repair us rather than give up, which he seems willing to do (so far. Its only been a week, we'll see how it goes in a month lol)

Thanks in advance 💜