u/Original-Opportunity

Male or female? Age?

Interested in the demographics of this sub.

2 comments I made here: 70% of those who viewed it were in the US, 8% in India, 8% in the UK.

41F, USA

I was gonna post this on r/Europe but doesnt seem like i can. So recently i went to my friend’s grandma’s house (the countryside of Belgium) and followed all basic rules, cleaning up after myself, leaving the shoes outside etc etc. Today my friend told me his grandma doesn’t want people in his house anymore because we (my other friend was there too) didnt follow the “social norms” of europeans household rules. When i asked him what it was, he said: “You used too much butter on your bread”. I was baffled reading this. Mind you, i AM european. My father is german but we never lived in Europe. I have NEVER heard of this rule, ever! He kept arguing that we should’ve known because its “the norm” but me and my friend has NEVER lived in Europe. I have been to plenty of european housesholds and ive never heard this rule before. Is this real?

EDIT: Ok didnt think it would tickle you guys pickle so much that i said im european and never lived in europe.. Sorry! I live in Germany now tho.

Been smelling a wiff of gas- like the rotten eggs smell or whatever

Stove works fine and the little light on the closet machine heater thing is on downstairs so wasn’t that worried

But I kept smelling it so I asked the utility company chatbot what to do. Alarmed, the caring and paternalistic suggested calling 911 or the company emergency service… so I did that

Utility guy shows up like immediately, in like 20 minutes. I’m drunk but I’m cruising, feeling social and normal. He comes in, wearing a hard hat, I point him towards the kitchen and he’s got this beeping gas meter thing on

He asks me how long I smelled gas, I said, I don’t know, a few days. He checks everything, seems ok. He asks me if I moved the oven, I say “I don’t know” because honestly I don’t know. He moves it, says the gas lines look fine

He opens a cabinet and says “clearing this out might help” gesturing towards my cabinet of moldy crushed tall boy cans

And you know what, I cleaned them out and it helped a lot

Crisis averted

Catching a tsunami of downvotes because I proclaimed that I don’t give a shit what people with AFRID think about “culinary matters”

Then I reduced this affliction to “picky people who only eat chicken tendies”. Perhaps I shouldn’t have gone that far. But like isn’t that what it is?

“That’s like saying bulemic people just like to barf”

I mean… to some degree, they must?

Why does EVERYONE have to be consulted and included in EVERYTHING?

“The Grand malroom”

Get it?

That’s it for tonight folks, I’m available for bar mitzahs and funerals

Enjoy the freebie

I’ll post another joke here when I think of it

Hopefully it exceeds 200 characters