Hey PMDD Partners,

After a disagreement with a mod on whether posts here describe abusive behavior as a characteristic of PMDD, I did an analysis of the content of posts and comments written by the members of this sub. The goal was to look user content here to see if a specific, central statement holds true: Do the majority of us experience a partner who is genuinely kind and loving outside of a PMDD window, but becomes emotionally or verbally abusive during an event?

Looking strictly at the unfiltered text written by members, the data shows that this statement is overwhelmingly accurate. It is the defining feature of the stories shared here. I used an AI to compile the data and apply a Grounded Theory analysis of the content grouping characteristic sentiments described by our public posts. It is a method that I currently use in other research analysing sentiment in the training of medical students. Although I used AI for the data crunching, the design and presentation are mine. 

Here is a breakdown of the major patterns and themes that emerge directly from our collective posts:

1. References to the partner being kind and loving outside of PMDD events

Almost every major vent or advice post begins with the context: the poster establishing just how wonderful their partner is when they are healthy. Members routinely describe their partners during these times as:

• Supportive, empathetic, and affectionate.
• "My best friend" and the person they actively chose to build a life with.
• Deeply apologetic or filled with guilt once the event passes, though many also say they do not reference it as if it never happened, but are especially nice.

This baseline of love appears to be why people stay and hope for improvement, rather than just walking away.

2. The contrast during PMDD events

When a PMDD event hits, this changes dramatically. Across hundreds of analyzed threads, members describe behaviors that fall under emotional and verbal abuse, regardless of the medical trigger behind them. The most common experiences described by posters include:

• Accusations of cheating, plotting, or never loving you.
• Distortion of past events and the rewriting of relationship history.
• Relentless criticism and shifting goalposts during arguments.
• Threats of divorce or breaking up over minor triggers.
• Explosive, localized anger—maintaining a perfectly normal, polite exterior with coworkers or friends while unleashing the full weight of the rage behind closed doors.
• Demanding emotional composure from you while unleashing unfiltered rage.
• Punishing minor slip-ups severely while expecting their own major outbursts during an event to be completely overlooked.

I'd like to note that while several of these individual behaviors can occur in typical, non-abusive relationships, when they become sustained over hours and days, and periodically recur over months and years, they cross the line into what is described as abuse.

3. Member-to-Member Validation

When looking at how we comment on each other's posts, there is a very distinct pattern. When a member shares a story sustained screaming or manipulation, the community's response is almost entirely uniform:

• Consistently validating each other by explicitly using the words "verbal abuse" and "emotional abuse."
• Avoiding minimization of the behavior in collective advice threads.
• Reminding each other that while PMDD explains why the behavior is happening, it does not excuse the severe toll it takes on the partner's mental health.

Let's Discuss

I want to open this up to the sub to see where we stand on this analysis:

1. Does this description of PMDD dynamics mirror your personal experience in your relationship?
2. Do you feel that the "official" definitions (like the DSM-5 as characterized in the wiki) and official characterizations we often see are out of sync with the severe, abusive realities we describe experiencing?
3. How would you respond to claims that abusive behavior should not be described as a characteristic of PMDD?

I personally see a disconnect between the reality of our described experience and the narrative that is being presented to us by some of the mods. I'd love to get your thoughts in the comments.

These pictures are not in a great order, because putting them is order is surprisingly difficult in this app. They represent a 7-or-so kilometer hike. A 1200 calorie burn. A warmish day that made the cool tunnels feel amazing. I learned that my ukulele in a tunnel does not create the cool echo effect that I imagined, and that a bunch of amazing, fun, sweet people continue to go on our hikes even if we hold the hikes on back-to-back weekends. Thanks everyone.

Just of small taste of the giant green world where we are only small dots.

Here's a railroad rail that has been buried deep and solidly in the ground.

See the lizard.

Is it a post hike high or is this photo beautifully staged. Good eye.

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https://preview.redd.it/6w35huwz9n5h1.jpg?width=1108&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d1ed3fdd88eae3d0eeae92ecb1552d65f64eb790

https://preview.redd.it/gnt4qwwz9n5h1.jpg?width=1108&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=647496a0fe55a3813856ad1e578d50fb2e6be60b

https://preview.redd.it/u2rsg3yz9n5h1.jpg?width=1108&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=82a4bdd69ac8bd87813846fbaafc011206b1ff33

The Takedao Station extends deeply into the mountain. Cool in it's own right.

Wild Boar meat sausage at the restaurant near Takedao Station.

This guy paid us a visit.

Wild Boar Croquette Set. Again at the restaurant.

This should be our last day hike until the summer heat subsides. Here are the details.

So we'll see you all tomorrow morning. If you are not used to the station transfers give yourself plenty of time. We should begin arriving around 10:00 and plan to head out around 10:30.

For the hike next week, the typhoon should hit Wednesday and cool off the weather even more before Saturday. Nice.

Clueless parents sure made it easier.

The trail was great and the people were fun. That's what makes putting these on worth it.

As I said, the next hike will be on the 31st. We'll do the Fukuchiyama hike along the abandonded railway that includes 7 old train tunnels. Which acts as natural air conditioning, so it remains comfortable even in June, or in this case, May 31. We'll be posting on more about it soon.

BTW, I hear the snake that people saw was probably a mamushi (Japanese pit viper). It behaved as it should and kept to itself.

Also, does anyone remember the name of the Indian restaurant. That was an amazing dinner for 1600 yen. I grabbed a pamplet on my way out, but it has disappeared.

Great news! The weather looks perfect for our trek tomorrow, Saturday, May 16th. We are officially a GO!

The projected high for the mountain top is a comfortable 23°C. For every 100 meters we climb, the temperature typically drops by about 1 degree—so expect a refreshing breeze as we head through the woods!

A participant made a fantastic AI-generated image for this hike based on the write-up—check it out!

For the full route details and context, check out the main post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/thisisosaka/comments/1t94dzb/newkobe_hike_arboretum_beautiful_falls_saturday/

Quick Recap for Tomorrow:

• Meeting Point: Tanigami Station (at the exit)
• Meeting Time: 10:00 AM (We head out at 10:30 AM sharp!)
• Finish Time: Approx. 5:00 PM at Shin-Kobe Station.
• What to Bring: * 300 yen for the Arboretum entry fee.
  • At least 1 Liter of water (refills available halfway at Futatabi Park).
  • Lunch/snacks for our hour-long break at the Arboretum.
• Hiking Poles: I’m bringing a bunch of extras! If you would like to borrow a pair, you may.

We’ve got a great group forming. A few of the "crew" will be there to keep pace with everyone and we will be taking plenty of small breaks on the uphill sections.

See you all tomorrow at Tanigami! 🥾⛰️

I apologize for the unusually short notice! It has been an incredibly busy season, but we are finally hitting the trails. Join us. This year, we’re trying something different: a point-to-point route that starts from behind the Rokko Mountain range, goes over the top and then down to Kobe.

By starting from the train station in the "back" of the mountain, we start at a much higher elevation, meaning less climbing and a slightly easier trek than our previous routes!

https://preview.redd.it/oy79th6vla0h1.jpg?width=1152&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f991b3cc108405c30b67e9d83edd1bf7a4351081

What to Expect 📈

• Distance & Elevation: Just over 10 kilometers with a total elevation gain of around 400 meters and a descent of 600 meters.
• Estimated Burn: ~1400 calories.
• Trail Difficulty: ★★★☆☆ (3 out of 5 stars ⭐). This hike is not overly hard, but it is not for the completely sedentary. While we start high, the 10km distance and rocky sections make this a proper mountain hike.
• Duration: Around 5–6 hours ⏱️, including plenty of small breaks on the uphill parts and a generous hour-long exploration break at the Kobe Municipal Arboretum.

The Highlights ✨

• The Arboretum (Shin-Kobe Municipal Arboretum): Since our route passes directly through here, we’ll spend an hour exploring! Note: There is a 300 yen entry fee which goes directly toward supporting the park.
  • See a "cookie" (cross-section) from a 2,000-year-old giant sequoia.
  • Spot the Japanese Serow (a unique goat-antelope inhabitant).
  • Walk through forest sections that recreate woodland environments from all over the world.
• Futatabi Park & Scenic Descent: After lunch, we’ll stop for a bit at Futatabi Park before beginning our descent. You'll get great views of Kobe city, see the aerial gondolas passing by, and finish at the impressive Nunobiki Falls.
• The Nunobiki Falls: We will descend past a series of waterfalls that are arguably more beautiful and varied than the famous Minoo Falls.
• View of the region: A great views of Kobe. On a clear day you can see across the bay to the Kansai airport and the Ikoma mountain range.
• Wildlife & Nature: Listen for the call of frogs, spot lizards beside the trail, and keep an eye out for local birds. You’ll also see where wild boars have been aerating the soil by digging for roots.

https://preview.redd.it/vpott55pma0h1.jpg?width=1153&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c8ecc58cc8247d82cd576e3bdee1200cd13cf1ac

Meeting Point & Schedule 🚉

• Meeting Place: Tanigami Station (at the exit).
• Meeting Time: 10:00 AM.
• Departure: We head out at 10:30 AM sharp.
• Lunch Break: Around 12:00 or 12:30 PM at the Arboretum Lodge. Bring your own food, though there is a cafeteria in the arboratum where we'll stop for lunch. It is not guaranteed to be open.
• The Finish: We expect to be out of the woods and finished at Shin-Kobe Station by 5:00 PM. While the guided portion finishes here, friendships and socializing often linger on—we may hang out at a nearby park or grab food and drinks together in the city!

Logistics & Safety 🎒

• Suitability: Young children, unless they are very experienced, should not join this hike. Additionally, the trail is not suitable for strollers.
• Footwear: Hiking boots are recommended, but court or running shoes will work if that’s all you have. Note: The trail can be soggy in a few spots and rocky in several others.
• Hiking Poles: We can lend you poles and recommend using them. There are a few places where the stability of being a tripod or quadruped is good to have, though they aren't strictly required. If you don't have your own, you can borrow them from us! I'll bring a bunch of extras—just let me know in advance so I can make sure to have a pair for you.
• Water: You'll need at least 1 liter minimum. There is a fountain to refill bottles about halfway through at Futatabi Park.
• Bears: The probability of a bear sighting is extremely low, however, we take precautions by checking local reports regularly, carrying deterrents, and traveling as a group during optimal daylight hours.
• Weather Backup: We'll be watching the forecast closely. If rain forces a cancellation, we will post as soon as possible.

🌍 Who we tend to be 🌏

We are a friendly and diverse group including locals, international visitors, and students. All ages are welcome! We look out for each other and make sure nobody gets left behind 🤝. A few of the "crew" will stay with those on the slower end of the group, especially on the uphill sections, to ensure everyone makes it through comfortably.

Cost 💰

The hike organization itself is completely free. You only need to cover:

1. Your own transportation.
2. Your food/drinks.
3. The 300 yen Arboretum entry fee.

These events give my students practical experience in planning and organizing, and they give me a great excuse to go hiking a lot!

RSVP / Just Show Up!

No formal RSVP is required—feel free to just show up on the day. However, leaving a note here or sending a quick DM helps us get a rough headcount.

Looking forward to exploring Rokko with you!

This book brought us ideas from Hippies all over the world (mostly the U.S.). Philosophy, clothes, low tech, environmentalism, equality, peace, system sciences, nomadic, living off the land, off the grid, and Hippie Fiction. The Whole Earth Catalog: Access to Tools.

As a child, I studied this like a bible. Want to know your roots? They are right here.