u/Otherwise_Reaction75

MGL Artist: artbyravenx

Credit: KaaYLee (Pintrest)

Happy birthday to me yayy! I kicked myself off lepax a week ago cos I tried restarting and the side effects (really bad headaches etc) was too much to handle. I guess life is improving (I hope)

Now hopefully I can live past my next birthday

Spent yesterday depressed af, woke up at 8 today for class and literally couldn't bring myself to get out of bed. Felt so bad I had to take one tiny pill after breakfast. What my big brain forgot is that restarting (with my normal amount of 10mg 🥹) gives the most horrid side effects (when I started last year I also very bad nausea the first 1.5 weeks)

I'm hungry but idt I can handle food right now, thinking of asking my lecturer if I can leave later (I rarely take mc too, force myself to school/internship bcos mom hates it when I 'skip' school)

I really don't know if I rather this nausea or prefer my shtty depressed mood I've been having these few years

This being said, this is an unofficial 1V1 tournament that I hosted last night (with the help of some other mods in our small discord family) and I'm really proud of everyone (you might recognize some of the usernames) who participated, or even managed to join. Because for one, I set it at 11pm GMT+8 to be more convenient for the other countries which is pretty late for some of us.

Also due to our massive ping, server, and time differences, playing together is sometimes really hard to do.

Anyways the prizes has already been sent. Abit over 400dias and abit over 200dias to our winners (bcos I'm a broke ahh student)

~ Anyways love yall (❁´◡`❁)*✲ﾟ*

Idk some fried rice I got the dishwasher from the restaurant I intern at to reserve for me because I did a full hour OT due to bishy customers. An ex-friend of ours did something to separate another friend of ours from their relationship just because... idk... makes him feel superior or stuff.

The girlfriend was struggling with school and pt to make ends meet, and... didn't make it after idkh many attempts... our other friend, the bf who has attempted many times and failed finally got closure... idk if he will make it this time.... I don't want to lose 2 people....

This isn't my first time a close friend attempted. I cried like a friggin fool and everything relapsed again I feel so stupid, useless, and helpless. They are young teens that don't even deserve any heartbreak depression or anything. Idk I'm in denial about the news, itz 4am and my brain feels so foggy-

I can't attempt again, itz my last year in school with my internship and crappy gpa from all my irl heartbreaks, failed and really toxic rs, and depression, but I really can't... I can't take any of my meds bcos OD somehow caused me to be traumatized of taking pills