Im Trapped
I am trapped, Hi I'm 18m I live with my partner of many years 18f we will use Bug as her name, Bug and I have lived together for years at this point she rescued me from my very abusive mother. I am forever grateful for her doing this as I was close to ending it all before I met her. After we moved in together everything was great and smooth life was better than ever but recently Bug and I have been getting into big fights where we do hurt each other physically, mentally and emotionally.
I'm writing this after our last fight where she poured massage oil into my eyes after I "was looking at her to much" after arguing over a roblox game. now what I did was not fair I feel and felt like a fight or flight response. I poured it back into her eyes. I snapped I feel bad about attacking back. But its also made me realise that I can't leave. For context Bug was diagnosed with Lypodema, MCAS and Elmer's dolos (i think i spelt all those wrong lol, but its hard to see my eyes still burn) and this made her quit her job which was fine at first this was in July of last year. Since then Ive found a full time job that pays 800 a week after taxes and I've been keep her and myself afloat.
Now for context we live in Australia, Qld, Sunshine Coast. We live in her mother's basement house (its like 2 house ontop of one another) and gives us (me) pretty cheap rent of 100 a week. Now here is my issue I cant save any money Bug takes almost all of it to afterpay, nails, hair, eyebrows, eyelashes name it after my paycheck hits im lucky if I have 100$ to myself which I've been trying to use to get my car license as I have no family or friends that can support me. I'm typing this out realising I can be kicked out over this and have no where to go and cant afford anywhere to live. I want help but I have no one.