u/Outside-Jicama-8468

I did it. I asked someone out face to face. Haven't done that since high school. I spent so much time analyzing the situation. Played all the scenarios on how it would go. Finally, I just said it's time to stop being a chicken shit and go do it. I always told my kids to not live a life of fear because that's not a life worth living. So I took my shot...

And it didn't go as bad as I thought it would. It wasn't a no. Wasn't a yes. I can take that and respect it. But that's a milestone I never thought I'd have the courage to do again. And it's so much better than the dating apps.

Met an amazing woman. I've bragged about her. I was infatuated. It had been a year since my divorce and I was ready to take a step forward.

First date was amazing. So was the second, and the third. Then... Almost radio silence. Going from talking all day long to part of the day... To maybe one text if I was lucky.

We went out to dinner and things felt off. She didn't seem like she was before. I told her things didn't feel right and asked her what was wrong. She assured me we were good.

I get home and the next day, back to barely anything. Then I get the text before I went to bed. The breakup text. The "it's not you, it's me" kind of text. The I really like you but... Kind of text. The I understand that you won't want to speak to me ever again kind of text. I just don't understand what changed.

But more surprisingly, I'm not broken up about it. I figured I would be because we were doing so well from the start. But, I'm not. Its a weird feeling for sure. The only thing I wanted was clarification, to know why she felt like she does. But nope. Radio silence again. But I do feel like this whole dating thing... Just isn't worth the effort anymore.

My ex is struggling. Badly. She wrote me off because I wouldn't give her money for food. Good. Never wanted to talk to her again anyway.

Now, I've met someone amazing. She treats me good. We communicate well. And she's heard about my past with my ex. She's heard about my kids and how they have suffered through this. She knows that I have full custody and it's a package deal. Me and them together.

And she is more than ready for that. She has met my kids and they love her. She loves my kids. She's already planning a surprise for them for Xmas. I really hit the lottery with this woman. She's given me nothing but love and respect and she's listened to me. Really listened. I haven't had any of those things in ages.

But we are taking it slow, even though things are in deep fairly quick with us. We aren't announcing it to the world just yet for various reasons.

But, when we do, I'm worried about the backlash from my ex. She doesn't want to be a replacement mom. She just wants to be in their lives. Which honestly is more than my ex has done in a year.

I just don't know how or what to expect when she finds out. I don't want that ruining my kids anymore than it already has. And I have no fear telling her her place. She ruined one relationship, she damn well isn't ruining another.

Sorry for the rant, but this fear has been in my mind since it's been going so well

Covers like

Saint Asonia - Blinding Lights

Fallout Boy - Beat It

Static Lullabye - Toxic

Or Ice Nine Kills - Walking On Sunshine

Show was amazing as always, but only two complaints.

Security was focused mostly on crowd surfers. We had someone having a medical issue and we ended up lifting him and crowd surfing him out. I'm proud of the job security did though because of issue 2 below

Crowd surfing is expected at these things and I'm not complaining about that. But y'all crowd surfers need to learn some things.

Phone down! Jesus pose. Cross your damn legs.

PUT YOUR DAMN BAG ON YOUR CHEST. Peoples straps were getting caught and wrapped around hands.

Lastly, for the love of metal, have some awareness. In our section, we had at one time EIGHT surfers in the same spot. We got six of them but two got dropped. We had people 3 rows from the stage wanting picked up and crowd surfing.

I'm not complaining that there were crowd surfers. Just that y'all need some smarts.

So, I finally got things to somewhat normal. Bills paid. Some extra in the bank. Child support finally coming in.

Then I get the text.

My ex is asking for money. No, begging. Giving every reason in the book. And I said no. She's not my problem anymore. Stood my ground.

But man it's hard to turn off that feeling deep down inside.

So, I need some advice.

I have been avoiding a store that someone works at. My ex was sending nudes and sexting this guy many years ago before her friend got married but was engaged. He never told her and we never did because my ex insisted.

Now that I'm divorced, I have been avoiding the store because if I run into his wife, I know that there is a strong risk that I will end up saying something. It's been almost 10 years since they were doing this, but I also hate holding this secret.

Now, this week coming up, I am going to have to go there because they sell something no local store does. I fear running into her because if she asks what lead to the divorce, I don't want to destroy another marriage.

What would you guys do? Would you tell her or just let it go?

Was listening to the deep cuts of a band I like and a lyric really struck how I felt.

"You're a heart attack

My blood can't flow when your unfaithful

And I can't go back

To the hurt, the shame and the betrayal"

I hope to meet the band after the show and thank them for putting to words how I felt the moment I found out

So I ran into some family of a girl I dated before I got with my ex. We were young and I broke it off for reasons. Not long after that, she became a lesbian. I kinda knew, but that's cool.

So yesterday, I ran into her two sisters. I told them what was going on and that I'm now single. They asked what happened, I told them. The first question asked was "are you dating?". I explained that if I was, they have to follow my two rules. I'm never marrying again and that my kids will always come first.

The one sister automatically said "well, if you are interested, I know someone that you would be good for. My sister!". And you know what? She didn't disagree. Also, come to find out that her sister isn't a lesbian anymore and is single again.

Time went on and the one sister pulled me aside. She said "you know what, you are a good man. You show up to work. You work hard. You take care of your kids. If I wasn't married, I absolutely would have asked you out."

Now, I'm no major catch. I'm a chubby, middle aged guy. But talk about a major confidence boost. All three of them are very attractive in their own ways. In my opinion, I don't think I'd ever have had the ability to pull any of them in.

So yeah, I guess that just being a decent guy is still good enough. Even if it wasn't good enough for the ex wife.

So, I have yet to receive any support from my ex wife. Nothing. Not one cent. I have full custody. Went to the county agency to get help setting up my side of things. She asked me immediately for my employer and payroll information. I laughed and said no, I am to receive not pay. She laughed and apologized.

2 months go by. I have to go back to supply documentation for the kids insurance. I walk in and she immediately states that I'm almost 3 months behind. I just shook my head. Same woman, had to explain again that I am not the payor. Turns out the paperwork to her employer just magically gets lost each time it's sent. So the agency sent it by email this time directly to the person she had on the phone. 2 weeks later... Still nothing.

This shit is aggravating. It's been a year almost. Divorced for 4 months. Haven't seen a damn thing to help the kids. And they still think I have to pay it.

Incompetence should not be a hiring decision...

So just got a text confirming it. I was told the reason for her moving out was she needed to see if she could live on her own and find out who she is. She was tired of being known as my wife or this kids mom and so on...

Well she sent me a notice now that everything is final she can't afford her place and moved into the home of the guy she cheated with. I thought that for the longest time, when this would happen, I'd be so happy to see her fall on her face. But no. I read it, replied ok, good luck, and that was it. Surprised at how it did absolutely nothing and meant nothing to me.

It's absolutely strange...

In the past, I have used Robinhood to just toy with a couple hundred dollars. But, life changes happened and I'm finally able to start investing some real money into the market.

Robinhood gives me the option of a Roth IRA or regular trading.

What would be best for someone just starting out in their 40s to use? Making monthly contributions as well.

Second thing is, I am also setting aside a small monthly amount for my 4 kids. 3 are 16 and under. I want their money to grow instead of just sitting in a savings account. Is there somewhere I can open for them as well?