u/Pale-Conference-1610

I noticed a theme at work and that’s that upper management can really get the ball moving when something needs to get done.

I don’t think it’s just a matter of title. I think many of them got there because they were able to get people to do as they’re asked.

This is a skill that confuses me.

When I ask people to do something that needs to get done, I get ignored or people take too long.

How do people “work behind the scenes” to get things done and not burn bridges while doing so? These people must be great at building connections.

Please don’t give any generic advice like out of a self-help book. I mean advice that’s specific and can be executed and replicated to achieve success

I’ve been in therapy for years on end, like almost 20 years. It would be inaccurate to say I haven’t made progress, but it’s more like progress that benefits others and not myself.

What I mean by this is I’ve learned to reel in my reactions to things so that I don’t hurt anyone’s feelings etc. But I’m still suffering, still painfully reserved and can’t trust other people, and just can’t quite grow confidence.

I feel like therapy has helped me develop a shallow level of confidence. Enough to barely scrape by and convince people at work that I’ve “got it” and can handle tasks even if I’m having panic attacks after work for example.

I’ve gotten better at masking and lowering the intensity of my reactions.

My core is still the same. I am still the same afraid, terrified person who can’t quite get out of their shell, who has panic attacks constantly, who can’t trust others, who drowns in low self-esteem and fragility.

Anyone else relate?

I am unsure which type of gastritis I have but I know I do not have H-pylori. We have a lot of autoimmune conditions in my family and allergies.

I’ve cut out certain things and noticed a big change:
- Certain meds I suspected were irritating my GI system
- Protein powder in any way, shape, or form. That shit is physically irritating to the GI system
- Certain types of highly processed desserts, unfortunately including Little Debbies which I love but were causing problems

Just wanted to share my story!

Anxiety feels like it’s ruining my life.

Nothing is working for me. I’ve tried different things psychiatrists have recommended, those only increased cognitive anxiety which in turn caused worse symptoms.

I’ve also tried non-medication route like different types of therapy, meditation, etc and it’s not working.

I cannot tolerate the daily stress and anxiety of work life and honestly just life. But mostly work. I’ve changed jobs nearly every year because of hitting a breaking point eventually. It feels like I’m going to puke in the mornings and I have diarrhea. My stomach is always feeling like there’s lead in it or sore stomach, which in turn causes GI issues and I can’t eat properly.

This all started happening a lot more frequently when I lost my job in 2024 and never got over the fear of potentially getting laid off again.

I was wondering if there’s a specific term or set of behavior that can explain when men do this.

In other words, using humor to try and mask something that’s otherwise creepy or disturbing.

Example: asking about my body but in a “joking” haha sort of way, so that I don’t get “offended” and it’s “just a joke”

I’m interested in getting into a leadership role, I’m thinking maybe management (not necessarily supervisor, but management.) I’ve struggled my whole life with shyness, but there’s a part of me that’s started to take hold and I’ve realized I have an increasing desire to help lead and train others, assign work, etc. I do need practice being assertive, however. I grew up in a house that’s very passive and doesn’t communicate directly, so all of my skills I had to learn on my own. Any hope for me?

We have check in meetings with our bosses every few weeks or so. I care very much about my work, which is why I go through 1 by 1 what I’ve accomplished, what I’m working on, whether I can take on more work, what I have questions about, etc. At the end of the meeting I always ask if there is any feedback for me.

Every time I get told no feedback or good job. Then we had a separate meeting with a few different departments and it seemed they had different expectations for something I’m working on then I did. I don’t get how this happened as I went through the timing, what I’ve done, the status etc in every meeting. Because my boss works closely with them and even reports to some of them, shouldn’t they have known how to give me feedback in order to prevent this gap between my expectations and their expectations?

Is this my fault? How do I handle this cause now I’m paranoid

Has anyone else experienced their social anxiety seems to be more manageable under certain conditions?

I get nervous when talking with people because I don’t like people’s eyes on my face. I don’t like when people can see me blush. If I wear a medical mask, or sunglasses, a hat, or even a full face mask (like for Halloween) the anxiety decreases.

How can I interpret this?

Has anyone else experienced their social anxiety seems to nearly vanish when just a simple aspect about their experience changes?

To clarify, I don’t think I’m ugly lol, but I don’t like people’s eyes on my face. I don’t like when people can see me blush. If I wear a medical mask, or sunglasses, a hat, or even a full face mask (like for Halloween) the anxiety nearly disappears.

What does this mean and how can it be used to overcome social anxiety?

How are you managing to keep up with your fitness routines and keep muscle? I used to be able to consume enough protein, carbs, etc, but now that I struggle to eat a whole lot of calories, my workouts are suffering.

Has anyone found a good workaround? Sometimes exercise can also trigger reflux, perhaps because trapped gas finally coming up.

I’ve got bad stiff neck, shoulders, and back muscles because of needing to use pillows to prop myself up before bed. I’m considering getting a wedge pillow, but I’m very sensitive to the type of pillow and such. For example my mattress and pillows feel too stiff. Has anyone found a wedge pillow that seems to work really well and is easy to clean? I’ve got a cat so I need to constantly clean my sheets, hoping there’s a wedge pillow that can be easily cleaned

I’m tired. I know that my flares are linked directly to anxiety and stress, and my stress has become chronic due to financial hardship etc.

Everyone tells you to do therapy, do meds, do meditation, etc. None of them work for me.

Nothing has worked. Therapy has a limit and I hit it years ago. I’ve tried different therapists, different types of therapy. I’ve tried meds and different types of meds (which actually inflame my body and cause it to get worse), I’ve tried meditation. Nothing.

Has anyone found the secret to controlling stress if it triggers GERD? Cause conventional suggestions have not worked

Serious question that baffles me.

Why drive slow in the passing/fast lane when everything screams that it’s the wrong place to be? For example, signs that say only to use that lane as a passing lane, speed limits, cars that are waiting for you to move out of the way.

Why do it, especially if it can cause accidents and road rage?

It’s not everyone’s first day on the road. Experienced drivers do this and I just need to understand why