u/Party_Life_1408

After watching the final episode yesterday, these 2 things really stuck me:

1. I don't know if it would make sense, but during the ending when Jonas and Alt. Martha changed the ending, saved Marek, Sonja and Charlotte and thus severed the knot and began disappearing, it's also shown that the middle aged Jonas ( The stranger), was disappearing and he realized that finally 'a way out' was found, I don't know I just found it a bit emotional, he was all alone and he didn't even get the answer 'How' a way was found out. Adam knew the answer, explained it to Eva as well, Adam explained to Jonas, Jonas figured it out and Alt. Martha got it too But Middle aged Jonas, he didn't even get an explanation, after going through so much the time, losing his dad, then Martha and he was all alone even in death ( disappearance). He was lonely in his death ( disappearance).

2), Loved the fact how they indirectly hinted at the saying 'End is the beginning and beginning is the end'. At the origin world, where everyone was having dinner at the table, and when Hannah was asked what would she name her child, she said 'Jonas' was a beautiful name. So it was sort of symbolic how 'Jonas' just died ( The end) and now 'Jonas' was going to be born , in the origin world ( The beginning).

Another very interesting fact... ( I know the show is fiction), but: In real life, are we too a part of a knot and an 'Origin World' exists , or are we the Origin world... It's interesting but also eerie to think about...

I also didn't understand : Why was 'Martha' a mistake or glitch in the matrix in her world ( the parallel one). Jonas was a 'mistake' because he shouldn't be born if Mikkel didn't travel back. How did Claudia find out or guess about the origin world, and Tanhaus splitting the origin world into two etc.? And how did the old Claudia come to Adam even after she was shot in the woods?( In the last episode when she said she knew how to break the loop).

Sorry if I am wrong about something, it was a beautiful, emotional series, so I am processing it all.

So, I am 23 ( F),have TLE , focal seizures. I am on 400mg Lacosamide, 200 mg Breviracetam and 10 mg Clobazam. I am very grateful that my seizures are very, very well controlled and I almost have no seizures for almost a month now... And I feel good about it. On the flipside, my mental health's ruined... I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, OCD for quite some time. Over time my depression's not that bad anymore, but my anxiety's gotten worst. I have developed ( maybe) health anxiety, health OCD, especially related to mental health disorders. I don't know why, maybe that's the OCD doing it but all that I am scared of, the symptoms that I know of mental disorders , my mind always makes me think of those unwanted, scary thoughts , to check symptoms ( unfortunately it's not even googling, I already knew the symptoms) and then having to always rationalize and provide logic that it's not true, that it's just an intrusive thought so as to reduce the anxiety... Mostly I can avoid, but these thoughts have become too much and I breakdown in nervousness and fear... I don't know what to do because 1.I don't want anymore medicines ( if prescribed),because the moment I go to a psychiatrist or psychologist ,or any doctor,they always prescribe meds and I am really done. . 2 . If I try to solve this part, my seizures will start again and mostly therapy's costly so... I have tried breathing exercises etc. but these scary thoughts and my mind making me 'think' of things, thoughts, symptoms that are unwanted and scary have increased and I simply don't know what to do... Any insight is deeply appreciated. Much grateful. Hope everyone has a good day!!

I had my fourth, standard EEG, and it came back normal. I have been diagnosed with Temporal Lobe Epilepsy, focal seizures. I had one VEEG, they didn't say anything, they didn't even give the reports, they just said, 'You have epilepsy'. I know TLE's are deep brain, but why I feel so pathetic is , doctors keep telling it's epilepsy, put me on meds, I am well controlled as well, but I don't have a clear answer with a proof that 'Yes, it is Epilepsy, we have 'proof''. So , it's always ' Since your EEG is normal, all that you have is of psychiatric origin'. I do have Depression and OCD, and it's so triggering, because recently, God knows how, but I developed 'health anxiety', where I have to continuously scrutinize major mental health disorders and whether I am developing any symptoms, etc. And it doesn't stop, ( the thoughts that I try to fight), until I have a complete emotional breakdown and cry for the entire day... It's so painful and hard. I never, ever want anyone or me to develop serious mental health disorders. I have enough on my plate already, not anymore please. I am so afraid of the future. I never want ever to develop any more health issues.

I came across a video regarding Schizotypal personality disorder and I really have so many questions in my head. All because of the typical symptoms usually mentioned as diagnostic symptoms. ( Symptoms that were mentioned and what I experience is given).

So, regarding the same, I have these, and I feel many people do, does that mean they have SPD?

So, all my life from my childhood, I couldn't really make that many friends or feel connected to a friend group, it just felt I'm there for the sake of it, my presence is unwanted/hated and they talk behind my backs( not assumed, it did happen) and everyone is always looking at me and judging me etc. ( I was bullied). So till date, I don't involve in any sort of friendship etc. because everything seems fake and that they are happy without my presence. This also arises from the fact that throughout my life whenever I was small I was mostly bullied or disliked by many people around me,peers at school, ( not everyone) I was always part of leadership duties like captaincy, prefect, loved doing extracurriculars, enjoyed it sm, was really good at studies, answered in class, regardless what many might think about me being a 'show off', actively participated in everything, just didn't actually have or feel a proper connection with any friend group, no deep down feelings. (Symptom mentioned: Ideas of reference)

I am diagnosed with OCD, so along with different other Obsessions and Compulsions( like repetitive thinking of a same thought, symmetry etc.) I have beliefs like '3 is an unlucky no. so anything I do has to be more than 3 times, like four times ' , and that my mind sets targets like if I don't get this right, then this bad thing will happen ( bad thing meaning like for example: I will score less in a test etc). ( Symptom mentioned: Odd beliefs/ magical thinking)

Mostly all my life, many of the people I met, they always spoke nicely to me whenever they needed something, and vanished immediately when their business with me was over. So I don't really like that and prefer being alone than have such type of 'friends'.Again,I would love to have friends, I feel so lonely but all the time I try and be close friends with someone it ends up this way,or they get bored by the person that I am. So I try from my side , maybe it does work but then it falls apart. I don't have any consistent, long lasting, lifetime kind of friendship. And it may be a bit selfish of me to say so but throughout my life, it's my aim to reach out to people, help them in any way possible, include them if they're lonely etc. but it's never been like that for me. I was literally dying at a point in my life, no one bothered to ask despite knowing I wasn't well at all. People mainly showed up when they required something or when they wished, because they knew I would always be there. This made me realize the fact, so I cut off all 'friendships' and now I don't have any. ( Symptom mentioned: Lack of close friends or confidants)

I am asexual. ( Symptom mentioned: Don't ever want any relationship etc.)

I also have social anxiety, I feel nervous in social situations and can't be amidst a crowd, I can talk to people, but prefer to be with known people or away from the crowd of people....

Yes, one thing that I have which may not be directly associated is : My concentration is very very poor, so if someone says something and my mind's somewhere else, thinking something else, I have to know the thing twice, thrice before I understand. And I constantly feel I am being watched ( not in a suspicious way), but my actions, mistakes are scrutinized and I am being judged by it: Spotlight effect.

So someone having many such symptoms means they have traits of Sczhiotypal Personality Disorder.?

I am 23, I have epilepsy, OCD and Mood disorder ( low mood/ depressive disorder). Mostly I am emotionally flat or don't feel anything at all but sometimes I do feel normal and it's a thing of mine since childhood that when I'm in a good mood I talk a lot, about various topics and I am happy, excited and feel good. Otherwise mostly I am depressed. Now when I feel good and start talking to my family about different topics that I have maybe seen earlier and thought I would discuss later, I talk about many different things. So they get irritated by my non stop talking or too much talking. So much so that, my mother, today told me I reminded her of people with Bipolar disorder as I was talking non stop about FIFA matches, players, and also about different foods I saw on social media that people sell and was giving a detailed explanation on it. My mother's really nice,she's the most amazing and I know I irritated her ,because she too wasn't feeling well and yet I kept talking ,then realized and stopped. Now, it's hours later but I cannot stop crying, because, first, I really hope anyone ever suffering from anything gets ease and very better. Second, my mind always makes me think of negative and now I can't stop thinking of what will happen if I actually am , and it's a part of my OCD cycle to ruminate non stop on all things negative so it's begun to think of all such possible scenarios etc. and it won't let me stop until it's proven. And it hurts so much.

I just had an EEG, standard, I did feel a little drowsy but couldn't sleep, otherwise all went fine. But my question is really weird. I am very particular about cleanliness and have past experience during school and it's one of my worst fears. The pillow that I slept/ lied on during my EEG, I don't know if I can catch lice from it because others too had EEGs prior to it. Not thatI could see or anything but just to be cautious as a precaution.Any way I can prevent from having lice, beforehand? I hate it and it's a severe fear for me. Sorry if this is really out of topic.

So, I am 23,F. I have epilepsy, focal seizures. I have also been diagnosed with Mood disorder. Anxiety disorder and OCD.

Early on from my childhood, I was convinced that my close people ( family) hate me. Everyone at school hated me and always would talk about me at my back( in a bad way) and there were eyes all over me( there was proof, and also I just felt/knew it).I was sure that no one wanted me around them, they despised, loathed me and I couldn't connect to anyone or feel any sort of connection, like I was there just for the sake of it and I didn't really fit in. I was good at studies and loved doing extracurricular activities. This continued all throughout until at around 13-16 , I was very angry mostly, had anger problems and took it out on my family. At 18 . I came to my senses and my anger issues got under control. Then I got diagnosed with epilepsy and I knew deep inside I did suffer from depression all along but officially got diagnosed at age 20 when I had nothing but negative thoughts, hopelessness, everything negative. After being on escitalopram, the thoughts ebbed away but I couldn't continue meds as they triggered my seizures. I continued functioning, completed college but later on due to health I couldn't really do anything further, nor function properly, everything frained me, esp. social things. I cannot function in social surroundings properly, I could study, answer in class etc. Do my best but otherwise I couldn't talk to people, make friends etc. And the ones who told they were my friends, I just didn't believe them. Then I got officially diagnosed with OCD and it's really a bit severe. I have to plan everything, even smallest of things, and do as planned and if it doesn't go to plans I get irritated / angry. Now, what happened/ happens is, especially in social settings, otherwise as well, I would go two weeks where I would function normally, even be excited or happy and the next three weeks or so I would be completely depressed and everything would be dark, I couldn't function. There were two times in my life where the darkness was so severe I couldn't think of anything than ending my life. Otherwise, now, I don't talk to friends or have any connection with them. I am in house , feel guilty about doing nothing. The thing is sometimes I feel really depressed but there are times I don't, I can function but there's a persistent feeling of numbness, I can't actually feel anything and the happiness is genuine sometimes but it feels artificial mostly.... I am just existing, like a robot. If I do think of doing something, for example, studying new topics then there's no stopping me... I would study and study ( Not that I would forget eating, sleeping) but I would be too focused(and upset if my concentration's lost) completing my daily limits then after a few days I would feel tired and give up and have no interest. Some days I would be functioning, excited, happy other days I would fall flat. Now, I don't know why, my mind's hold on to the irrational fear about what if it's Bipolar? And I am anxious all the time. I have been diagnosed with mood disorder ( low mood) but nothing else was specified. Can anyone please share their thoughts, opinions on this. I would be extremely grateful. Best wishes.

So, I am currently 23 , F, diagnosed with left TLE, since I was 19. I have focal seizures and till now all my EEGs are normal. Did Video EEG as well. My previous neurologist said it was Epilepsy. They didn't show the recording though. Then another neurologist said it was most likely PNES as stress was a big trigger. All medicines have worked well, only that after a few months the dose had to be increased because somehow the body found a way to resist medications. My current neurologist believes it to be epileptic seizure based on symptoms but ordered an EEG all the same. Now, my seizures are deep in temporal lobe so I assume the reason for the EEGs to be clean. This time it may be same too. Stress does induce my seizures, that's the biggest trigger, but I have other weird ones as well like chocolate, cheese, cough syrup. Sometimes there would be no triggers still I would have focal seizures. I had tonic clonic only once. Mostly studying or intense mind work triggers them. But on medication I don'tk have the impaired awareness, I just have the aura and get back to normal, the intensity is less but it's frequent whenever it happens. Now, I do suffer from OCD Depressed, Anxiety and all this confusion about Epileptic seizure or PNES had literally triggered me so much, I can't stop thinking and my life's literally dictated by fear. I seriously want a clear diagnosis and to move forward... Unfortunately whenever I do try to study etc. I would have focal aware seizures. I really don't know what to do or think, as my triggers are mainly stress and my EEGs are clean but all neurologist except one believe that my seizures are epileptic despite clean EEG. I just don't know how to stop thinking and move forward because fear and seizures are holding me back from doing anything if I do anything that requires lot of mental concentration, etc. t triggers my seizures . I really feel so helpless.

So, I am 23 F , I have focal seizures, complex partial / impaired awareness. I have been having them since I was 17 , got diagnosed at 19 after a tonic clonic seizure. Put on a lot of medications and it changed repetitively. 1st on Leveracitam, helped me but I had mental health issues, then Breviracetam and Valproate, worked good, until I started having seizures again after few months of control, increased my dose, was fine. Recently ,less than a year ago they replaced Valproate with Clobazam and Oxcarbazepine, almost died because of severe hyponatremia and now am on Lacosamide 100 mg. ( Along with Breviracetam twice a day and Clobazam ( at night)) .

Now, initially,when I was 19,20,21 ..my auras would be ,seeing dots of light, ringing in ears and sometimes burnt smell, have an intense feeling of deja vu, where I felt I have seen a particular memory or so before, or lived it before but I don't even recall when and my surroundings felt like the memory and I got nervous, cold and my eyes picked everything as bright, close up view and then I would just cut off temporarily for 30 secs to a minute, lose awareness,and when I recalled my surroundings I would forget what I was doing, or what happened, everything was confusing, it took me a minute to recall and get back.

What happens now is, being on the medicine and it's started recently, a week ago, don't have any of these aura in severe form, a mild form of nervousness, hot flushes and my focus is temporarily dazed , out of focus , I pause momentarily, have the aura for a few seconds, try to fight it, can't, so let it pass and start doing everything back again. The difference is, I am completely aware the entire time, just a little dazed when I am having the aura, things appear a bit brighter, more in focus, surroundings go hazy or dim, get partially disrupted with what I was doing, I stop speaking then go back to normal, then a minute or two later it happens again. I get clusters like this.

I don't understand how did my aura change or doesn't include the deja vu anymore but is similar to the feeling where I would completely cut off or be unaware of my surroundings only that I don't get completely unaware, the aura builds upto that then stops, then few minutes later comes back again and lasts very briefly, happens repeatedly... Does anyone else relate. I would be grateful for advices or to know what's happening, and is it normal to have auras like this, constantly?

I am 23 , F, currently on Breviracetam 100 mg, Lacosamide 100 mg ( twice a day) and Clobazam 10 mg once a day . Lacosamide is a recent addition from March. I have focal impaired awareness seizures, TLE. So it is going to be a long read as what I mentioned is weird and difficult to understand. I would be grateful if someone reads and can help me in any way.

Recently , the past few days, I have been having these awful feeling of going 'blank', the feeling I have before going fully unconscious for a minute( my focal seizures), only that I am not going fully unconscious, or it isn't reaching the stage of complex partial seizure , It's just the feeling ( the strange feeling, aura) have before I completely blank out (i.e. am unaware of surroundings and completely forget what was happening or happened and usually am like 'Where am I, what was I doing etc. ' ) then get back to normal, after a few minutes it comes back again and goes. I just don't have the entire seizure, just the weird feeling I usually have before a full blown ( focal, impaired awareness seizure) one.

This part is a bit complicated: Now, the feeling in itself is so weird. I don't go the stage of deja vu, as before, but just have a visual problem and it's so difficult to explain, it's like, for example ' A camera focusing a nearby object then zooms out ,so, it's out of focus and then it focuses back and the object appears clear, but far away'. Like, if a camera focuses on a mountain peak, then zooms out, goes out of focus then after focusing again, the camera now has the visual of the entire mountain, like an entire, faraway view. That's exactly how I percieve whatever I see at the time, or how my eyes / visual part of brain works, as if I am the camera and my eyes are the lens of camera, zooming out, focusing, seeing things as if they are distant from me or bigger in view than they usually are, like a zoomed in version of something, then back to the entire view i.e. book pages if I am studying, or the screen if I am watching T. V. etc.

I know it's very weird, and difficult to explain but that's the best way possible I could explain.Also, during the time, I feel cold sweat breaking all over me and my face is flushing hot,I get nervous .... This happens, stays for 10 seconds, goes away comes back after a few mins.

Now, usually if this happens and I have deha vu, my stomach feels hollow from nervousnes etc. and this particular feeling that I explained stays for too long then I get cut off from the surrounding, i. e. I have the entire seizure whete I am unconscious. But here I am not reaching that state. I just have the pre ictal part then it stops.

I am so flabbergasted as to what is happening, I have changed so many meds, I don't know when will it ever be discovered what's wrong and be under good control.

Anyone else ever experience anything of this sort. I would be extremely grateful for answers, help and thank you everyone for reading this!

SPOILERS ( Both Stranger Things and Harry Potter)

So, I didn't watch stranger things at all when it came out, just recently watched all the five seasons together, including finale, and I just feel the parallel between Stranger things and Harry Potter is insane. For instance the mind flayer thing controlling kids, Vecna etc. ,Is so similar to the horcrux in Harry able to see things.. Voldemort wanting to create a world free of 'muggles' and The abyss and rightside up colliding by Vecna trying to rebuild the Earth, or recreate a world is so same, like many things are same, the themes, these are just two I recalled. Just that Harry Potter's a world completely fictional unknown to muggles, but this was science fiction Earth people fighting Abyss things.. And scientific things... , Harry dying but not actually, Will, Hopper, El dying but not really.. I know the fight of good and evil is there in so many things, it's just I feel it close to Harry Potter and maybe more because it's so fresh in my mind. Even my sister said that ironically in both the stories, the name of the villain begins with 'V', Voldemort and Vecna ( and both are not their actual names, Tom and Henry respectively) Just that, now whenever I read Harry Potter a lot of things I see is from Stranger Things P. O. V.

So I am currently on Breviracetam 100 mg, Lacosamide 100 mg twice a day and Clobazam 10 mg once a day. I have TLE, focal seizures impaired awareness. I hadn't have any seizures since being on Lacosamide. However, I don't know if it's a side effect or not, apart from dizziness and blurred, hazy vision so that I have to tense up my eyes to focus, it's my thinking, my thinking, it's so, so slow, the words are travelling to my brain, but the brain's comprehending , processing power is slowed, as if speed is slowed to 0.5 x, it's so foggy and it's unable to think, like that part's switched off and understanding capability's slowed, like listening,reading something and then thinking, visualizing about it, the connecting speed is delayed, thinking part in brain it's disconnected... And then there's forgetfulness, like it takes me some time to remember things. I don't know if it's a side effect of this Lacosamide. Before this, I was on Brevipil and Valproate, which was fine, but they said Valproate isn't good for females, so they switched to oxcarbazepine which literally, nearly killed me, I was on it for 4 months , then they tapered me off and started Lacosamide. So from then on my seizures have completely gone, occasionally I feel very mildly the pre seizure feeling like it's about to happen, but it doesn't... But these side effects, they are so frustrating.. So is it because of Lacosamide or something else, are these common side effects related to the medicine?

I have completed my graduation, Bsc. Hons. from Delhi University, regular. Now, I want to pursue Bachelors in Library and Information Sciences. Is it good to pursue it from IGNOU, delhi? Should I go for this course.And any necessary information regarding this course, like what should I be really good at or any required skills , be good at what all subjects, because I feel it's not easy and how to get knowing about July 2026 admissions. If anyone would reply please. Thanks!

So I am 23F,from India.I graduated with a Bsc. Hons in Microbiology. Now, I tried to pursue, two Masters Degree within two years but I simply couldn't do it, as I really don't do good healthwise. Now, all my peers are doing higher studies and trying to work at different places or do something whereas I am just taking care of my health... I am overriden with guilt and sadness that I am not or am not able to put in any efforts for my future or career. What should I do so as to get into a decent job that also allows me to not burden myself, look after my health but do something for my future, instead of just sitting and wasting my time... And if pursuing a Masters is necessary, which field should I choose as science fields drain all my energy and I have come to the understanding it's not my thing, and also I really don't know what jobs to pursue as getting employment is so difficult now a days...