u/Patient-Tea9555

I know I said I was going to update y’all after I talked to the fiancée but things got a little to hectic with work and this stuff so I forgot.
To start off I did go and talk to
I called her and we had an odd conversation. I asked if I could have the substitutions and she said that she would not be able to do that for me. I told her that I could pay for it myself. She said no. I asked her why, and she said that the accommodation that I was too “random”, also she said I was and I quote “strong enough to handle some eggs” (what ever that means!!!?) and that I could just deal with it myself. I explained to her that there was absolutely nothing at the wedding I could eat other than pickles and artichoke dip, which is not enough sustenance to last me the hot day. She told me to stop complaining and suck it up. How kind of her.
I was very taken back by this because we have been really friendly over the years that I’ve known her. In fact I knew her before my brother and her got together because she was a part of my husband‘s friend group and still is. I was the one who actually set up her and my brother up, which is another reason why I offered to help with their wedding.
I called my brother again and asked him what the hell was going on because, I had a very odd and somewhat disrespectful conversation with his fiancée. He made up an excuse saying everyone is stressed and that wedding planning is stressful, which it is 100% true and things got blown out of proportion. But I still can’t figure out why I was the only person who got a different answer.

On Monday I finally just took all of your advice and sent my brother a message where said I would bring my own food and if that was a problem I wouldn’t come. As much as I love him I live my health and respect a little more. Left me on open for about 6 hours then wrote back “that’s fine just don’t make it too noticeable please” and that was the last I heard of him for a bit.

BUT on Friday after work I went out with one of my best friends who is in the same friend group as my husband and the fiancée, but I’ve been friends with her for along time. Basically me her and her sister were childhood friends but she only met my husband and that friend group in college. Anyways, she told me that the fiancée and my husband had a very minor talking stage relationship sort of thing during college but that ended as fast as it started. My friend being her gossipy self said that she thinks my brothers fiancee might still be in love with my husband.
I didn’t think that was true till I was jokingly telling my husband about what our friend said and my husband said he believes that could be a possibility. UMM WHAT?!
So I asked to take a look at their private messages. And well.. she is messaging him almost every day. Despite them being in the same friend group he isn’t insanely close with her. So these messages are him either having casual polite conversation, short conversation about shared plans or interests or him ignoring her. I didn’t go all the way back, but from what I can see there is nothing weird going on. I trust my husband with my whole heart and believe he is loyal.
From this point on I’m not really sure what to do. There is no real proof that my friends intuition is what’s actually going on and I truly believe this situation to be one big misunderstanding. I don’t even care about the food I’ll bring my own.
Anyways just let me know what should I do now? I’ve basically given up.

Edit: I think I confused everyone with how my brother and his fiancee met. So first of all ignore the wording of my posts in general. I introduced them because I invited my brother to a get together that me and my husband were having. I didn’t introduce them with the intent of them ending il together because there is an age gap. But at that gathering they started as gym buddies and worked their way to getting married soon. I didn’t mention the fact that I introduced them because that wasn’t important at the time.

OG post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITH/s/n7mpNJBbGV

My 2018 Subaru outback keeps cracking the exact shame spot on the upper left corner. I’ve replaced the windshield three times. Two times at the dealership and once at a mechanic. Has this happened to anyone else?

It’s Saturday y’all here’s the update you guys have been waiting for.
After I made the original post. I talked to my aunt who is also going to the wedding. She has a dairy allergy. I asked her if she had talked to them about food at the wedding and she said she had and they were fairly understanding and explained to her that the only part of the food she might have to substitute would be the hollandaise sauce and she would just not eat cream cheese from the hors d’oeuvres. And butter for any seafood is on the side. They were fully supportive in giving her the substitution she needs. So confused me gave my aunt the rundown on what I had experienced and she was just as puzzled as I was.

Today, I had a sit down conversation with him asked about the food situation. I asked why he said no about my substitutions. He wouldn’t give me a straight answer. I asked why everyone else who wanted substitutions got them. Again he wouldn’t give me a straight answer. But when I brought up paying for my own substitutions. Oh, did he talk! he said that the whole not wanting to let me pay for my own substitutions was just a misunderstanding. He thought that I meant I wanted to pay for everyone’s substitutions (I would be fine with if that was something I had to do btw), but he didn’t want me doing that, ofc I understand.
The last question I asked was, if accommodations were available, why was I the only person being told no?
I told him that I talked to our aunt and I know that her food substitution was granted. He then danced around that topic as well. Saying stuff like “well you know aunty, she can get anything she wants. You know how she is!” basically making a joke about our aunt being a Karen (not my fav thing to hear). Finally I just said I would be more than happy to talk to the caterer myself if that was necessary. That’s when he got quiet.
Then he asked me not to contact the caterer. I was so confused and still am! the more I pushed for answers, the more uncomfortable he became. Finally, after about five minutes of going in circles, he admitted that he knew substitutions were possible (obviously, me and him both knew this already).
Apparently the caterer had offered allergy accommodations, which is what my aunt told me as well. Not only that but several guests had already requested modifications to their meals (my aunt being one of them).
Thats when things got even weirder.
He told me that his fiancée had specifically mentioned me when they were discussing dietary restrictions. Apparently she thought my dietary restrictions were "annoying". He said he tried to convince her that it wasn’t a big deal but she shut down any further discussion about it. I told him that I had medical needs and I can’t be in the heat without food. Therefore, I do not feel comfortable attending. He got really frantic and said he’ll talk to her. I told him I was going to talk to her anyways. He got weird about that too. I also made sure that he knew even if I wasn’t going I would still continue to help with the planning, which didn’t really calm him down, I just left after that. This entire situation is getting weirder and weirder..

I’m going to talk to his fiancée next, probably tomorrow. But for now the saga continues ig lol.

Thanks for the support and suggestions! lol

OG post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITH/s/dzdERM4BXF

I wanted to come on here clear some things up and answer some questions. First of all, thank you everyone for your opinions, both positive and negative. I understand that people don’t really like picky eaters, or enjoy having to go out of their way to help someone who has my issues. And I wanted to confirm that my title was click bait and I am extremely apologetic for that. It won’t happen again, I am sorry. My further titles will be 100% to the point.

Now for the question,

- Am I karma fishing?
No, I’m not karma fishing. This is not my actual account so karma fishing on this account would take me nowhere. This account will be scrapped after I solve my issue.

- Can I bring my own food?
This question was more of a statement less of a question a lot of times, but I will end up bringing my own food, If it comes down to that.

- Does my brother hate me?
No, I don’t think he does. His response to me asking for a substitution was very out of character. This entire situation has been very weird and I’m excited for it to be over.

- Am I faking my disabilities or allergies?
No I am not, I am allergic to seafood (shellfish and fish) and have a sensitivity to eggs (they make me shit and vomit) and I’m not faking my disabilities, saying that someone is faking their disability is insanely disrespectful. I didn’t want to be specific to what I have just for personal reasons but I have POTS along with EDS, and some other smaller issues.

Here is a more in depth rundown to the conversation we had on the phone;
I asked “so what kind of food are you going to be having at the wedding?” to which he responded and told me about the breakfast and the seafood after. I asked him about substitutions for anyone who is allergic and he said he wasn’t sure about substitutions and he was probably going to have to run with no for right now. I told him that people weren’t going to be too happy with that answer and that at my own wedding I had to make multiple different substitutions. I said that I would be more than happy to pay for those substitutions if he needed it. to that he replied that he would feel bad for me to have to pay for substitutions.

I am having a sit down conversation with him on Saturday so y’all will be getting an actual update by them. I’d love any advice on what to say to him. This situation has been so confusing for me. Thank you all.

This is a throw away account because both my step brother and his fiancée have Reddit.

My step brother and his fiancée are getting married soon. It is a destination wedding, the destination is very hot.

For some background my step brother and his fiancée met at the gym about 7 years ago. Didn’t start going out till about a year into their friendship and finally got engaged summer. They met through a mutual love for the gym and with that comes a mutual love for protein. Here the problem, I am allergic to a majority of animal protein (seafood and eggs mostly) I am also a little bit of a picky eater but I believe that is my own problem so I don’t let it effect other people (in everyday situations obviously)

Now I have known my step brother since he was 4. I obviously lived with him for many years, baby sat him, drove him everywhere (I am 7 years older than him). We see eachother as if we are blood related.

For his wedding I have done a lot of planning with them because I had a wedding myself so I know how it goes. For their destination they chose a beach and the wedding will start before sunrise. So they can have the sun rise while the ceremony happens. It’s super cute!!

I looked at the menu and there will be literally nothing I can eat. For breakfast eggs Benedict on some sort of potato patty with either herbs or mushrooms on top. There will also be a seafood bar throughout the day. And course an alcoholic beverage bar. They hired a caterer to do all this and the request for substitutions I have to go through my step brother first (which is a no brainer and I have nothing against that).

When I found out the plans for the food I asked if I could have a substitute meal he said no, I offered to pay for it he said no because “I would just feel so guilty if I made you pay for your own meal at my wedding” or something like that. Tbh I’d rather pay for my own food than die. There are no fast food places around. My hotel doesn’t start serving food till 8 and I’ll be at the wedding still. I don’t and literally can’t go the whole day without food because I am literally disabled. I have a connective tissue disorder there are a lot of symptoms that come with it and I need to eat or else I could get very sick and irritable.

I understand why he might be upset by me asking for my own meal because growing up I was really really picky with my food. But now I try my best to eat what I can. Eggs give me a rash and the shits. Seafood gives me anaphylaxis, but only when I eat it so I can still touch it and be fine, it’s a kind of mild allergy but I can still die if left untreated.

Having an alternative or just replacing the eggs with something else would make my life so much easier. My husband is on my side obviously but the rest of my family while still concerned about my allergies thinks I should just suck it up. So AITAH for asking my step brother to take eggs of the menu at his own wedding?

Edit: there are hors d’oeuvres at the wedding that do not have seafood in them. My options are pickles and spinach dip with crackers, there’s also cream cheese.