I have a few ideas but I would love to hear from locals. We have family in the area but I’m doing all the planning.
What are the best family friendly attractions and sights?
Then cried my way over to Fred Meyer to pick up prescriptions and found clearance fancy cheese.
I got a 1/3lb robusto, 1/4lb tallegio, and 1/2lb old croc cheddar for $9. Lucky me.
It’s so hard getting used to being away from my kids. They currently only do day visits with their dad, so
I will have them back in 8 hours. They’re only gone 12 hours total. There was a time I would’ve KILLED for a 12 hour break.
And I have plenty to do. So much laundry to catch up on, the garden needed some attention, I’m going to replace the wax ring on my toilet, everything needs tidied up.
But I’m still crying. This isn’t the life I wanted. This isn’t what I’d planned for these girls. And I know it’s the right thing. And I know we’re all better off. But it still hurts. Sometimes the right thing hurts.
Featuring a charcuterie board my foster son made for me.
Sometimes I think maybe I blew up my life for no good reason….
and then I remind myself that while we were in marriage counseling my husband was making verbal agreements in session and not following through with them. He continued even when I told him I recognized that pattern and asked him to follow through.
And then when we stopped marriage counseling he got worse and worse toward me. In the time when he should have been putting the most effort toward showing me that he really meant it and he would genuinely change.
And then when we separated he got more and more petty, rude, and cruel.
And when he entered an abuser recovery program he got even worse and actually directly threatened to weaponize the kid’s emotions to get me to do what he wanted or punish me for not doing what he wanted. He had weaponized the kids before but had never bluntly threatened it.
And then when our girls were struggling with his parenting time, his only concern was his imaginary threat to his parental rights.
And then I remind myself that during marriage counseling he disclosed that he was lying to me from the beginning and I just didn’t know.
(Generally speaking. I know there are tough, capable dads out there. This is mainly a rant about my kid’s dad.)
Yesterday my kid’s dad sent me a message saying he is canceling his therapy appointment with my 4y/o because he is sick.
Later, 4 y/o vomited and I sent a message asking if he was vomiting too since she was. His reply was 100% self centered, not a thought to check on 4y/o. He sent “No. It’s probably stress induced.” 🥺
Stress induced?? I had to take my kids to an appointment within 10 minutes of finding him in my backyard having picked my lock. Don’t talk to me about stress, sir.
Anyway, I replied with “No, I don’t think 4y/o is that stressed.”
Then he thought to ask about her. Then he tried to cancel his parenting time tonight because he’s “super drained”.
Little does he know I ended up sick with 4y/o last night with such excruciating stomach cramps I was considering urgent care, but I still propped her up while she sleep-vomited and didn’t even consider asking him to take the kids since I spent the night sick with a barfing kid.
Regardless it’s not even his night with the kids, so he tried to cancel time he didn’t even have because he’s so stressed and drained.
Did I mention this man ONLY does dinner Monday and Wednesday and has the kids 10am-3:30 Saturday and that’s it? Even though I’ve asked him to increase his time so I could get a break AND the kids want more time with him. He won’t take more time. He just added Monday dinner two weeks ago after I’d been asking him to take more time for months.
But he’s asking for 100% custody because he thinks I’m an unsafe parent.
UPDATE: He just told me he doesn’t want to take them for his 5.5 hours of parenting time tomorrow because he is still too stressed. 🙄🤪
I’ve had an idea for a while of a Podcast with the premise being Buffy sometimes has a hard time sleeping cause of nightmares and the horror of her life, you know?
And then Spike, who was a bookworm back in the 1800s picks up some of his favorite literature and reads her stories, obviously with commentary because he was also a poet and has thoughts.
I think it could be sweet, silly, thought provoking… like, imagine Spike with all his 19th century experience sharing Pride and Prejudice with Buffy!
Anyway, I finally got the guts to get a cameo and tell James Marsters my idea and look what he said!!! He actually considered Spike armor for William and how his armor could slip and how Spike would respond to that.
I’m dying. He said it was a really good idea. I’m so happy he enjoyed my idea. Maybe you’ll enjoy it too!