u/PersonalReaction123

This may or may not have anything to do with introversion or extroversion but in the comments, I want only extroverts to share your thoughts.

A friend and I met online. Many years before, we both were caught in a similar problem and looking for solution and help online at the same time and that's how we met, around Covid. So the initial connection was nice because we both were looking to talk to someone, and we shared everything from our childhood, family, everything ...

And this friend would want to meet only for coffee or lunch or brunch. That was okay because I had and still have other friends to hang out with for fun events. This friend is an introvert (as they themselves say, not me labelling them) and still doesn't mind opening up and sharing. The first few times, it was fine. And it's been years. My life has changed a lot - it happens with everyone, no? Many good things and bad things - that's life!

Recently I realized that this person is the only person in my entire network who has no passion and no interest in anything at all. All my other contacts - extroverts and introverts, men and women - have something they really like - career, learning, travelling, photography, games, makeup, clothes, books, TV, movies, music, cooking, food, partying, spirituality, investment, something ... So when I catch up or hang out or talk to them, on both sides - their side and my side - we have many interesting updates to share. But with this friend, it's always the same - at this adult age, this person is a shadow of their parents - going wherever they go, doing whatever they do, and each time, the talk is the same - their parents/family trying to set them up with someone to meet, someone like them/their people, and me hearing and nodding and listening about how that went and why it failed. Nothing interesting. Always boring restaurants and rarely some cinema. For years.

It hit me only last time when we met and they said their own younger sibling pointed out that this search for a partner and the family setting them up is pretty silly. No excitement about anything, really.

Here's the thing: this person genuinely thinks it's normal. They have hardly any friends. Before you think depression, anxiety, PTSD, no, nothing like that ahs ever happened in their case - never - perfectly healthy, physically and mentally. Financially sound as well. Very loving, supportive, closely-knit family.

I realized that each time I was the one bringing the energy and excitement to teh table all these years and they just share some story about some match they met and how crazy it was or some trip they went on with their family - nothing else. For a few months now, I feel like all my energy and joy leave my body when I think about this person. I recently shared a work related document with all my friends and asked them to share it with others, too, and this was the only person who didn't reply. Something told me to never ping this friend again. I feel drained. I've been thinking about ending this pointless friendship for good. We used to hang out at least once a month, but I need to give that time to other interesting things and other people in my life or at elast be happily alone at my place, watching or listening to something or relaxing because the thought of meeting them makes me tired instantly.

Has it ever happened with you? What did you do?

Almost every scene in season 1 is funny. I wonder how they could not laugh while saying their dialogue. The bike thief, Manny's mom being called the "coal digger", Mitch pulling the other kid's blocks at the children's play because Lily won't pick and grab blocks and all that being caught in the camera, Cam introducing Lily to the family, ... Wow!

I'm talking about online groups. If I join a group, I won't be always a passive observer. I'm joining the space because I like to give and receive. That's the point of joining. Sometimes, online and offline, not some times but many times, I ask questions to the speaker or presenter just to make them feel heard and valued when nobody else puts in such effort. Okay, forget fun groups, TV/celeb/gossip talk, politics, things like that.

Why join online groups that are clearly for a purpose, clearly meant for learners, clearly meant for community building and mutual support being the primary goal - joining such groups and constantly sitting back and just observing and scrolling and leeching off and drawing fun and energy and learning techniques from other people's exchanges, while never contributing to the group talk at all ... This happens all the time and it wouldn't annoy me because in fun or hobby cases, it's okay.

But this time, a couple of groups, they were created for career growth and support. I'm SICK of these "shy", "introverted", "not very chatty" people getting into all those places where they conveniently hide under such labels and excuses and leech off of other people's valuable learnings and lessons and tips and techniques, while not giving back anything at all for the community, for others there. I'm glad I am not an admin of such groups, or I'd ban such users or members after a few days of this leeching off business and say strictly "if you won't contribute, you don't belong here". Any of you remember the popular millennial meme - "I will most probably not go, but I like to be invited"? No, my friend, you will no longer be invited, not to spaces like these. You still have an option - you could find your own kind where everyone comes together and nobody does anything - wow! Heaven for you! We are tired.

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I'm a newbie. And it quickly struck me that it is very normal and not at all odd for your friends in full-time, secure jobs to simply not understand you and your work at all. The exhaustion, the everyday commitment, the big risks you're taking, the fears, ... they don't know this at all. And I realized that only other business people - not those running family businesses but those who are building their business from scratch on their own can understand how all this feels. I'd love to connect with and make new friends - when I say "friends", I don't mean something purely transactional and just another follow and liking your posts but I mean someone who will understand - when you're going for a big event, they know how much it means to you, when you're planning a milestone, they know how exhausting it can be, you get the point. Are there such spaces online for female founders which accept new joiners?

For me, my go-to for a long time now has been Google search, GoodReads, Amazon reviews and similar books recommended by Amazon (customers who like this also liked kinda suggestions), Reddit, and finally books recommended by friends (in that order mostly).

My first fantasy book was a recommendation on Reddit years ago (and I loved the book!).

But disappointments are also a lot! Often, I think these companies promote books through good marketing and based on popularity, and Google also picks up on these reviews and ratings. For me, so many books I got because I thought the blurb and reviews looked great, so I thought "if so many others liked it, I will also like it", then I DNF-ed many books in many genres. Then I gave them away or exchanged them for other books. These recommendations or suggestions can be a hit or miss! and the decision fatigue is crazy, LoL, before buying my next read, I spend so many hours checking out each book. This has been my experience so far.

You have any personalized recommendations apps or review platforms you trust a lot?

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I have not heard of this author before and came across the book "Aggressor" when I was browsing, looking for something new. There are hardly any mentions of this book/book series or this author on Reddit. Anyone here has read this? Would you recommend this?