u/Pickle-Queen666

Nearly a decade ago, I entered my first relationship with a boy I was crazy about. I was a young teenager and didn't know what a healthy relationship should look like, and ended up in an abusive situation for years on end. He verbally berated me, called me terrible sexist/racist names, hit me and choked me "as a joke" on numerous occasions, constantly made r*pe jokes about his own family members who had been assaulted, stole money and medicine from my family, cheated on me multiple times, and much more. Perhaps worst of all, he blatantly admitted to me that is a p3dophile and is attracted to children. I'm wondering if/how I can take legal action about that.

I don't know where he is now, but his abuse still traumatizes me to this day and I want justice for myself. I don't want this disgusting human being out in the world preying on some other woman, or worse, children. I genuinely worry about the safety of my community.

I go to therapy on a regular basis and have strengthened my boundaries. I am now with a wonderful partner who fully respects me. However, I still would like to take action, not for my own peace of mind, but for the greater good of my community. Evil men like this need to be reported somehow.

Is there anything I can do in terms of legal action or other ways of defamation?

I was born and raised in noho through the 2000s and have always been so curious about what the town was like back in the 80s or 90s. Staple stores that closed, interesting historical facts, etc? I have a vivid memory of there being a little chocolate shop next door to bistro les gras (rip) that sold chocolate mice, also I miss the pleasant street theater!!

My boyfriend and I (both 23) are looking to move from NYC to a smaller city with the same artistic and diverse culture but warmer winters (we both hate the cold.) Hopefully somewhere somewhat affordable, lgbt friendly, with access to both an arts scene and nature. I work in arts journalism and he works in the biology field. West coast is an option but we’d prefer not to go too far from home (the east coast.)

Some ideas:
St Pete FL
Asheville NC
Savannah GA
Richmond VA
Santa Fe NM

Suggestions?

My step mom came into my life around 6 years ago after a traumatic divorce between my parents. One year into dating, my dad and her got engaged and we all moved in together at a house 45 mins from my mom's (where I grew up). Initially (as a naive teenager) I didn't mind the new situation, but it gradually became very clear that I was no longer a priority within the family system. She never expressed interest in getting to know me as a person, despite us sharing many similar interests and working in the same field. All of my dad's attention went towards my step mom, who dominates conversations to talk about herself and constantly interrupts me, shifting conversational topics away from my opinion. During a long battle with my mental health, she was completely unsupportive of me yet would constantly be texting my parents about how I looked messy and that I wasn't engaging with the family how I was "expected to" as the oldest child.

Now, I am about to graduate college after many years of academic struggle and I feel so proud of myself for reaching this milestone. I have limited tickets to my ceremony and decided that I only wanted my immediate family to attend -- my dad, my mom, and my sister. My dad and step mom became incredibly angry and guilt-tripped me for (in their words) "making my step mom feel unwelcome and being exclusive." I was so confused why the focus of the day had shifted from my accomplishments to the point of her being included or not. She told me that if she wasn't invited to the ceremony itself, she would not be coming to my campus at all for the celebratory dinner part of the day. I spoke to trusted friends, my partner, and my therapist about how to handle the situation and was met with the same response -- this was narcissistic behavior and I should hold my boundaries. I ended up sending her a kind apology text for not inviting her and she ghosted me. Now I do not feel excited for my ceremony anymore because there is so much family tension involved. I don't know how to handle this situation and whether or not to attend my ceremony at all at this point. I know I'm in the right, but still feel so guilty and disconnected from my family.

Any advice or similar experiences?

My boyfriend and I are both 23 and moved to NYC this year together. We love it here, especially the cultural and artistic diversity and endless options for activities and restaurants. But, growing up in New England, we’ve both grown to hate the long snowy winters of the northeast and would absolutely love to live somewhere with sunshine year round, or at least with mild winters. We also want to experience living somewhere a little smaller, with a less overwhelming vibe than NYC. Ideally somewhere that’s a bit “chiller” and relaxing overall, but still with an exciting and vibrant arts and social scene.

What we’re looking for:
- warm-ish weather
- artsy vibe
- access to nature (mountains, beaches, forest)
- liberal / lgbt friendly
- affordable
- diversity is a plus
- ideally on the east coast

Some of our ideas so far:
- Asheville NC
- Portland ME
- St Pete FL
- Savannah GA
- Portland OR
- San Diego CA

Lmk your ideas of these places or any other cities you think would match what we’re looking for!!!