u/PlanktonMoist7141

I’m a female, I turned 20 a few days ago. To be honest, I feel a bit embarrassed admitting this, but I’m really interested in a guy and would like to talk to him, the thing is, I suspect he’s 17.

Less than a year ago, I broke up with my first boyfriend; he was a year and a half younger than me, and I used to feel awkward or embarrassed whenever people asked his age. For context, in my country, 17- or 18-year-olds are in their final year of high school, whereas I’m already in my second year of uni.

What do you all think about this age gap? Does it seem like a lot? I know maturity is a factor, but obviously, I’d need to get to know him first.

Soy mujer y hace unos días cumplí 20. La verdad me da un poco de vergüenza contarlo, pero me llama mucho la atención un chico, me gustaría hablar con él, pero el tema es que sospecho que tiene 17. Hace menos de un año también me separé de mi primer novio, que era menor que yo con una diferencia de un año y medio, y ya me daba cosa o vergüenza cuando le preguntaban su edad.

Pero que opinan ustedes de esta diferencia de edad? Les parece mucho? sé que la madurez es un tema, pero obvio habría que conocerlo primero

There’s a guy who caught my eye, I find him attractive, and we follow each other on Instagram. One day, I really liked a jacket he was wearing, so I replied to his story asking where he got it, and we kept talking after that. He always asks how I am and what I’m doing, he shows interest in the things I tell him, but he goes hours without replying every single day; sometimes he pops back in, answers, and then disappears again, it’s sooo boring!!

He likes my stories too, I know he thinks I’m cute, but it bothers me that he takes so long to reply and isn't very engaging in conversation. I’ve been working on my self-concept, so I get bored when someone acts like that, yet I’m still interested in him. I’d love to kindly tell him that if he doesn’t want to talk, he should just say so—so he stops wasting my time—but I won’t actually do it, haha.

Because he takes so long, I’ve actually delayed replying to him for a couple of days myself while focusing on my own things; I did reach out again, and he didn't seem mad that I’d taken a while—he just replied—but I don’t know what to do to get him to stop acting this way.

I got baptized in February, and at the time, there were only three of us investigators in the church; my only real friends back then were the sister missionaries because there are so few YSA members in my ward.

One Sunday, I met another investigator who was also a YSA, I found him pleasant. We chatted quite often; he got baptized a week after me, but then he started acting strangely. He flirted with me a lot, made jokes about being "jealous” when he saw me talking to other boys or when I took longer to reply, and even tried to seduce me using Bible verses (cringe, I know).

That’s when I put a stop to it and told him I didn't want him flirting with me and that I only wanted a friendship. I was already a bit put off by him since he’s about six years older than me, but he stopped flirting with me directly after that. However, friends told me he was always talking about me and commenting on "how beautiful" I am.

Later, we had a sort of FSY event for YSA members; the whole time, he was looking for girls to flirt with. He started dating a girl he’d met just two days prior, but they broke up, and within a week, he already had another girlfriend. He’s tried to hit on every single girl in our ward, even asking them out on one-on-one dates and doing other weird stuff like that.

But one of the things that bothered me most was that, since he’s a convert, he talks a lot to the sister missionaries and struck up a friendship with them. Yet, he’s incredibly delusional; he went around spreading rumors among a bunch of guys, proudly claiming that he and one of the sisters were flirting. That wasn't true, and he did it knowing it jeopardized the sister's missionary work—it caused a real mess. I also found out later that before he converted he used to sell drugs and faced allegations of sexual abuse from several girls. Our bishop is aware of all this.

I know it’s wrong to view people so negatively, but I feel guilty about the rejection I feel toward this person because I genuinely struggle to see him the way Jesus Christ would. I know he’s going through a hard time right now, yet I still find it difficult to feel true empathy for him. I know it’s wrong because I’m judging his past, and it makes me angry to think he only goes to church to cause trouble and hit on girls. That’s why I wanted to know if any of you have experienced something similar and how you handle negative feelings toward others.

I thought persistence meant having the certainty that you would achieve something even though reality hadn't yet shown it. But recently, I brought Neville's books to Gemini IA, and it told me I was doing it wrong because I was turning that persistence into a future peace, as if I were postponing my desire. So, how can I feel like I already have what I want? That leaves me very confused. I knew that maybe the 3D was settling, but my main assumption is still that everything is falling into place and my SP and I will definitely be together again, but apparently that was wrong.

I thought persistence meant having the certainty that you would achieve something even though reality hadn't yet shown it. But recently, I brought Neville's books to Gemini IA, and it told me I was doing it wrong because I was turning that persistence into a future peace, as if I were postponing my desire. So, how can I feel like I already have what I want? That leaves me very confused. I knew that maybe the 3D was settling, but my main assumption is still that everything is falling into place and my SP and I will definitely be together again, but apparently that was wrong.