u/Popculture-VIP

Hello lovely people - I'm so glad this community is here especially after the loss of my mom a couple hears ago. 47F and single. I have never been married just because I made a lot of bad choices in men and only really started to know what I want a couple years ago. Good timing right? In a world where so many people don't want to get married and so very many people our age don't even want to put the time into a relationship. While I could make another post about the lack of appealing, available men, lets just take as fact that there aren't many out there to choose from.

I have never thought I was a great prize for looks, but if I look back I can say that I wasn't bad to look at at all. And even 5-10 years ago my self confidence was pretty good in that area.

I broke up with my last boyfriend about a year ago - he wasn't giving me much for time and the time I got I had to really ask for. I took some time to get over it - it was only a 6 month relationship but I had had a lot of feelings. Then after the holidays I started dating apps again.

Long story short I dated one guy three times and I liked him a lot. We didn't have everything in common but I don't require that. Third date, after a very fun night at a comedy show and a couple drinks, I looked at him as if for a first kiss and he said ..." I have to be honest, I'm not really feeling..." And I said, thank you bye. I was not expecting this--this guy had reached for my hand several times for the first time that night...it was fun. A couple weeks later I met someone lovely with whom I had everything in common. He kissed me at the end of the date and it was pretty awkward. I didn't see it coming. I knew it would be better if we both slowed down a little but the next morning I got the no spark text. I am not resilient and so I gave up on the apps. Here's the thing: I have surely been dumped in the past but I always saw it coming. These times... I just plain didn't understand. My personality hasn't changed so I have to assume it's my looks.

At my gym, there is a nice man I really like (and I care not about the issues of dating someone at the gym) and he seems to like me. We usually talk for like 10 minutes unless we're on other sides of the gym or what not. But I can't bring myself to ask him out because I've dropped the most blatant of hints and he doesn't even seem to spark up about it so... I don't know and I RALLY can't take another rejection.

I do my best to look as good as I can - I have pretty good style and my hygiene is well attended to. Today I chatted with someone on Reddit in DMs he sent me a picture of himself and I sent him one of me. After I sent my pic he went quiet. I am here for advice but it's definitely not for suggestions to have better pictures I chose a pic that looks like me so if he isn't into it he isn't, but this man *I thought* was in my league just like the other two. This one today is what prompted this post, but this is a real issue for me and with work difficulties and perimenopause starting up the last thing I need is glaring self confidence issues. My heart hurts and I know that desperation isn't sexy nor is it a good reason to date, yet I'm in this cycle and it feels like everything is just getting harder and worse. Sorry this is so long - thank you for reading!

Last year I posted here after buying myself a PS5 for my birthday and being really disappointed that I found it so hard to play games. I felt useless and I was reminded of how I don't really feel like I can do anything, even something that so many others with autism love!

I like the concept of rpgs and I enjoyed the graphics of the Last of us game but I kept dying or getting stuck and lost. I got really frustrated and it was not fun. I tried an Adventure Time game and it was cool at first but then believe it or not even that one has fighting that I didn't really like. One of my biggest ASD symptoms is just not 'getting' how things are done. And I don't have any close friends who game that could teach me. I seem to be clumsy with the co trolled and I keep forgetting what to press for what.

Anyways, last time, some of you were asking me what kind of game I like and I didn't really know. But now I think I have an idea. It's a bit embarrassing because it doesn't make me feel very smart. But I want to do this to relax so it is what it is I guess. So do you have any suggestions? Remember: PS5 (so I guess PS3 and 4 work too)

- No fighting (I'm not sensitive to blood or gore or seeing violence at all, I just suck at fighting)

- the more role playing and choosing things the better.

- open to super cute things as well as dark, gothic horror

- big fan of vampires and dark aesthetics

-easy

-nsfw is totally fine but I also like puppies and rainbows

- back, like 20 years ago, I loved Age of Empires and Sim City.

Thank you!

If you have any questions I'll be back in a few hours. 🤗

Context preamble. I'm generally healthy--all bloodwork is up to date and thyroid, iron issues are minor and managed. Not looking so much for a solution unless you know how I can just make that darn thing start. Moreover I just want to better understand what's going on while I know that I can't predict where it's going.

Hi all. I'm 47 and I've had peri symptoms for at least two years. I decided I was in perimenopause when my first delayed period (by about 2 weeks) coincided with almost nightly night sweats. After that regular length period, the next one came on time (3 weeks later) but it lasted for like 2 weeks. After that I had some spotting and a short period and then we went back to normal monthly periods for over a year. I was even enjoying that I was able to really notice my follicular phase more than ever.

Fast forward to this time. I'm now late by 10 days and while I wait I feel like it's just peri-PMS all the time. I am SO tired and brain foggy. Sleep is messed up and, while my moods are okish, there are some swings and I notice that I generally feel more hopeless and negative. It seems like I'm stuck in the Luteal phase. Is that what happens? As I move forward and the time between them gets bigger what happens to the phases? Is there no follicular phase?

I have read the sub rules and #2 is not to be negative. I hope this doesn't break that but maybe someone can be positive in response?

Tldr: like really why do I keep trying and what's the point in trying?

I have done it all. I have done therapy (still do) and I have spent some time alone. Happily alone. I started dating again a couple months ago. I met someone I thought was great. I didn't get clingy at all but he was a bit love bomby. He was weird but my kind of weird. When we had sex, it was bad due to insufficient lube/lubricant. Whatever... A week later after being quiet for a bit due to a work project...he tells me there is no spark (yeah the sex wasn't great but other things seemed to be).

Next one had 4 kids and a busy job. Didn't have time to see me or text me even so I ended it. Next one, I tried getting back with my ex and we all know how that goes.

Then I met this delightful guy who seemed super interested on date one - asked to see me again and he made all kinds of plans. I proposed a brunch before then that went well with a nice long hug at the end. Then date three tonight. Dinner and a live show. I offered to pay for dinner because he bought tickets to the show. The show was fun. We had a great chat after at the reception. He seemed easy to talk to. Drove me home and hugged me good night. I thought a kiss would be good and he told me he had to be honest and he didn't feel a romantic connection. I... Feel like such a loser. Did I try to hard? Was I too nice?

Honestly here's the deal. I didn't see this coming. Like the previous one. And like a couple others a couple years ago when I was dating before. I am not a model. But I'm ok looking--let us say average for our age. We have seen others post something similar here before. Do I think I'm better than I am, no. But I swear that until my 40s I NEVER got dumped like this, so often and by people I thought were a good match. I've never been dumped and not seen it coming and I don't know how to deal with this.

I'm not here to ask what I'm doing wrong. I'm doing my best. I show up, I look my best, I'm engaging and I also don't try so hard that it's fake. I don't expect to be for everyone but I don't know how I got so tone deaf? I can't handle being dumped this much. I can't. I don't choose people "out of my league"

I don't understand it and it hurts so very much. And here I am, alone again, and I really thought this guy could be it. All the green flags but I guess I said or did something to turn him off. No idea what. So it seems I can attract 3 types of guys. Ones I'm not into, ones I'm into but they aren't into me, ones I'm into but they just want sex. I'm so tired. I keep trying but you guys...why? My heart can't take this any more.

ETA: yikes this got me several DM messages from probable bots or something. Last thing I need right now.

You may have seen my post yesterday - I disassembled my Ode2 yesterday to clean it, long story short it ended up needing calibrating and I have messed something up in the reassembly. I've started over and still no luck. I'm working on it, but life is busy and I am going to need to drink something before work this week. I don't have ground coffee. I don't really want to spend money on a quality roast and have them ruin it by grinding it right away. So...desperate times, I'm here asking you folks, who I assume have the same kind of discerning taste that I do, is there anything I can buy in the grocery store that is remotely palatable? I am not trying to be elitist, but I genuinely have found that I no longer like mass produced stuff at all. Sad times. Recommendations welcome. I'm in Canada. Safeway and Superstore/Loblaws are the stores I can access.