u/PopsicleIncorporated

Trying to make sense of some seriously mixed signals

Several weeks ago I matched with someone on Hinge. We had an encouraging conversation where it seemed we had a lot of common interests, so I asked her out for coffee. She said she was very busy with two jobs but would get back to me once she had an idea of what her schedule looked like. She never followed up on this; we continued messaging through the week but gradually it started to fizzle and eventually she did not reply.

About two weeks later, I sent her a message saying I was still interested and thought we had a lot in common, but if she wasn't, that was fine. Just wanted to throw it out there before I unmatched. Frankly I thought this was kind of a crapshoot and wouldn't hear back.

However, she replied quickly and said that she was definitely interested but assumed I wasn't because I hadn't asked for her number yet. (The reason I hadn't was because I know women sometimes hesitate to give out their personal contact info; if coffee went well I was going to ask for it afterwards). I tell her no worries, explain my reasoning, and then send my phone number to her and tell her she can text me there if she likes. Ten minutes later I get a text message from her where she apologizes for ghosting me.

She says something about how her next day with no work is Tuesday (eight days from that time). I ask if she wants to get coffee then. She says actually, she has Thursday evening off, or Friday or Saturday morning off as well if I'm game to meet before Tuesday. This sure seems like it's going MUCH better, so I say Thursday evening would be nice. She agrees. During this time she's quite enthusiastic, even saying she's really excited to meet me.

On Wednesday, she says she has to cancel on Thursday because she's helping a friend move. I say sure, that's fine, how about Friday morning then? She agrees to this. On Thursday she says her friend gave up a shift on Friday morning to spend time packing things up and will expect her to help her out. She is very apologetic and says she knows she's been hard to nail down. I say fine, how about Saturday?

Later on Thursday she says she doesn't think the weekend will work after all. I ask what about Tuesday, her off day like I originally pitched. She says "how about we just keep talking and then we can have a more spontaneous meeting?" I agree, we chat a bit more.

Then since Friday there's been radio silence. I've texted her a few times since then; nothing. Earlier I told her that I sometimes flagrantly violate double texting norms with my friends; she acknowledged this and indicated it wasn't a big deal, so I don't think that's my problem here.

I just don't understand what's happening here. She texted ME, not the other way around, when she didn't have to do that. She openly says she's excited to meet me. She offers to meet up BEFORE the date I propose. All good signs.

Then she cancels multiple times. She's super apologetic and acknowledges she's been difficult to nail down, which was reassuring. But after that, nothing.

I think we'd hit it off if we did meet up but my patience here is running kinda thin. I know she's busy with two jobs, but she spent most of last week replying pretty quickly and it's not like she's working every hour of every day. Any read on what's going on here? Right now I'm thinking if I don't hear from her by this weekend I send her one more text, but idk what could be happening otherwise.

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u/PopsicleIncorporated — 3 days ago

Any insight on some seriously mixed signals?

I matched with someone on Hinge. I gave her my number last Monday. She texted me soon after and said her next day off was next Tuesday (would be tomorrow). I asked if she'd like to get coffee on that Tuesday. She says she'd be willing to meet up before then and that she doesn't have work Thursday evening or Friday/Saturday morning. I say how about Thursday, she agrees, says she's excited to meet me. Everything seems good.

The day before, she apologizes and says she has to cancel because her friend is moving. I say fine, how about Friday? She agrees, but on Thursday apologizes and cancels again. She's extremely apologetic and says she knows she's been hard to nail down. I pitch Saturday, she says the weekend probably won't work after all. I say how about Tuesday, the day I initially pitched? She says "how about we just keep chatting and try and find a more spontaneous time?" I agree. Since Friday though I've just had radio silence.

I'm not sure what's going on. She gave ME her number. She didn't have to do that. She offered to meet up before Tuesday, says she's excited to meet but keeps canceling. Any idea on what's happening here? Her last message was still quite friendly.

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u/PopsicleIncorporated — 3 days ago
▲ 51 r/civ5

I get that some Civs are better wide or (more frequently) tall but there's others where you can go either way. Here's what I don't get about making this decision: by the time I've got my first policy, I've barely explored any of the map. I don't have a super great idea of where other Civs are relative to me, or how many ideal settle locations I have. But in the moment I've got to pick something anyway. Sometimes I pick Liberty and then I find out I'm too close to neighbors to really make use of it, sometimes I pick Tradition and have way more expansion space than I anticipated.

I'm sure there's something I'm missing, I just don't know what it is.

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u/PopsicleIncorporated — 23 days ago