The special interest pendent is necessary btw
I've boosted the number of showers I take to sometimes once a week to help too I don't think I need deodorant and I believe my greasy hair will add to my charm so don't talk about hygiene BC I'm doing it 🥱
'yay this looks so good' when I make it to then 1 month later I realise how shit it actually looks good god 🥲 ts is too hard ffs
Uj/ wanted to do a small test to see the difference in attention posts there receive depending on how sexual?/ Gooner coded they are conclusion form found in kitchen type of moment Outcome might also be BC 2nd girls face and hair are off ABIT too lol ik
I hate nearly all moids
Was too scared to got to a specific part of the gym BC there were too many gym bro moids there and it scared me But I need to train my back!!!! So I told myself not only should u cultivate and better Ur self physically I should do it mentally as well!!! Yes I'll try to get over my aversion to moids! (What I was thinking)
So I go there try to do a lateral pulldown for the first time in my life obviously am fucking up go to watch yt shorts videos on form embarrassed all whilst I'm trying to do this I hear the moid next to me on the other machine less than a metre away laughing??? (Had only one headphone in) Like 3x each time I tried it again I turn to look at him he's smiling I think he tried to cover it up? Or I'm a tweaker cuz he then turned it into a groan
Then I'm embarrassed af leave gym
path home I walk along the side of the gym building it has multiple windows and I hear tapping I don't look I walk faster
Reach another window look as I'm walking see him looking through it??????? At me
It's so fucking weird I feel like I'm tweaking and was seeing things or insecurities projected? Maybe I miss understood something and I'm just a tweaker but if that did happen tf 😭 maybe I misunderstood something!!!
If Ur conventionally attractive it's cute no matter what u do and seen as quirky if Ur ugly Ur just weird and WILL be made fun of
They wear makeup cute outfits and pose in specic ways to look most attractive I feel like they are aware of this
If u look cute any thing u do can be romanticised
God why couldn't I have been a Stacy FFS :_)
3rd time I've had to get a replacement
10 pounds for a plastic nib is crazy
Positives:
(Moid hypergamy is crazy BC she was talking ABT her aunt's bf who knocked her up and friends bfs tried to hit on her
Negatives:
I was hoping after I left after the last exam I wouldn't have to see any of these mfs again but I was wrong way to many of the ppl from my old set were in there 😭 tf
They are biologically female but I want them to look androgynous and present more in a masculine style and look a bit like males in xianxia and danmei novel covers do
They were holding hands too it's over for me
it's fiction (not real) this isn't real it isn't real not real irl life human connection isn't as nice
I'm too ugly to ever experience human warmth or connection or go outside
I feel so lonely
It's so miserable my ugly features could have been forgive able or even attractive if I was born a male I watch how my brother gets constent female attention and has immediately gotten a gf at the start or yr 7 whilst I have genuinely nothing I've only been ignored or mocked really he has a more openly selfish and unempathetic personality stinks yet still does well
standards for males are so much lower
I swear I could have been a perfect bf and had a cute gf by now and I wouldnt be constantly lonely
Plus the majority of women and women I think are pretty and desirable and like are all into moids and constantly trying to get with moids no matter how pathetic they are
Incels complain about getting rejected by women they confessed to yet if Ur a lezcel 90 percent of the time there is no point in confessing in the first place BC u know there is a 99 percent chance they are straight so are gonna get rejected plus treated as a social pariah in certain places for liking women plus the fact that I'm not conventionally attractive further Dec the percentage
Moids can be ugly and horrible people yet still have relationships with beautiful women
Most of the time to me these recommendations just seem like a way to ignore and pretend lookism does t exist to maintain a naive image of the world
I honestly believe more in body neutrality/ acceptance than positivity and all the 'your the most amazing beautiful talented importrnt person in the world repeat this to Ur self 100x a day no one is ugly be confident (now buy my shity lifestyle manifestation Instagram course)! 🥺😋' from a conventionally attractive rich woman like damn easy for u to say now watch a obese chopped woman say this and they will become a lolcow and be harrased
my face is just a face a collection of meat/ tissue it will eventually sag and then decay one day and that it doesn't meet subjective human standards
most of the time I'm indifferent to it BC I've accepted I don't look like and will never look like a model I accept my fate lord 🫡(except for random breakdowns woops)
' why don't you have a bf yet? Your brother managed to get a gf in his first few weeks of yr7 whilst u haven't the entire time U were in secondary school?' ' if any boy asks you to prom make sure you don't say no and don't pull faces' I've never had a conversation nor friendship with any moids my age and I can't make eye contact only attention I received was remarks said to insult me so that their friends would laugh for me not acting human enough whilst she was bullied BC the girls were jealous of her for being attractive. I won't go to leavers assembly nor prom why pay or be willing to go to stand alone in a corner for a 30 minute max before I leave I have no friends there I dislike both the moids and girls there
'soon your gonna get a bf and move out' ' that boy was definitely looking at you hehe someone likes U' ah yes the overweight chopped mf without prominent but or boobs and a poor waist to hip ratio, sure. Honestly I feel like she's being delusional to convince herself I'm not completely pathetic/ a loser and am normal so she deost feel like she failed in someway (does this for other things). This isn't even considering the fact that I find moids 90 percent repulsive and morally degenarate.
I just hate it so much I can't even speak and reply I'm unattractive it won't happen please stop because she starts shaming me ABT I'm so stupid so delusional oh who made u think that Your mentally ill!
Does she think I'm an idiot I see my own reflection I know how they avoid me or ignore me
And she keeps bring up my plentiful layered collection of sh scars on my arms and a aspect on my face and 'helpfully suggesting' that I should remove them. I've never mentioned caring nor being insecure about these things after her random suggestion she then interrupted a conversation I was having later abt getting money for passing exams and she immediately started talking ABT how u know abt our plan right I never agreed to her suggestion .
Plus she keeps being weird abt my sh scars ' don't u regret it now you learned your lesson now say u will never do it again BC I know how much you hurt your family'
And now is making subtle remarks abt me gaining weight eg today ' why can't u say no for once and go on a diet' in a light and playful voice BC she offered me a ice-cream and I accepted.
This is all whilst she sends me shitty Facebook videos abt how Ur mother is always there to speak to ♥️ no matter what 🥹🙏 amen
It's dumb to rant abt this online ik I'm just overwhelmed and pissed off and have no friends to share to at all most normies give insufferable advice.
Disclaimer: this just one side of my mother people all have flaws this behaviour I believe comes from me conflicting with her perception of herself as a good mother and having stupid expectations for me. And this obviously is just a reflection of the bad not the good (saying this so I'm not a completely terrible daughter and also since I'm only portraying one side). Sorry if this is dumb whoops
BC most of these dudes look disgusting and are disgusting word can not describe how putrid there character is having to spread open your legs for these ghouls take the risks of pregnancy and suffer for 9 months all whilst hes cheating on u humiliating u and probably treating u like a dog BC he knows that u probably won't leave all after you changed your entire character the way you dress speak act and what u like reducing yourself just to please him and raise his ego are u even a person anymore is it even Ur life at that point what's the point in living in such a subjugated manner just for him to potentially buy you a overpriced handbag pretty woman aren't rare he has other options whilst U depend on him and try to get his attention wasting money for other woman 'coaches' to tell u to make it self smaller
Plus this assumes that he's generous most of these rich dudes are gonna be shielding major wealth from u still like I doubt you'll end up with property in Ur name but you can have a overpriced hand bag and shoe collection for living as a dog
Honestly I get the argument to some extent of at least you get something out of it plus a moid is gonna cheat on u anyway but the difference is u have more power in a situation where Ur not dependent on a man/ constantly trying to attract one
Idk this rant personally comes from me being annoyed with Staceys or coaches for Staceys who act as if your an idiot if a womans main aim is not turning her self into a object for a rich man or act as if this is the only path
like I'm not saying no one should it's a lifestyle choice but I dislike how all these ppl ignore all the negatives and acting as if all the favours money and stuff a woman gets for being pretty are all 100 percent free and as if there aren't other expectations plus acting as if just BC Ur pretty Ur gonna escape misogyny men are still gonna see u as inferior and a way to to obtain social status by being with and being able to mistreat conventionally attractive women
(but that case in the photo is different and don't let the news title fool u the melting candle looking dude is a ghoul who doesn't deserve any sympathy he treated her horribly and thank god she left plus the power in that situation passport bro x woman from less financial well off country who wants better opportunities and depends on the man for her citizen ship money and probably has no support in the new country if he mistreats her is far worse than and I don't really blame her much tbh this is more talking ABT women from developed/ wealthier countriest)