u/Possible-Minimum7446

Salut, până recent n-am fost o persoană religioasă dar acum aș vrea să mă spovedesc. Nu știu dacă efectiv pot să mă duc la o biserică random și să întreb acolo. Dacă știți un preot bun în Cluj la care pot apela, let me know :)

Ever since starting uni, it seems like every task is a monumental burden. I've been told to "do small steps every day" but literally no one gives a shit about what's going on in your life, they demand the same effort from you as they do from a normal, balanced person. They just want to tear you apart, piece by piece. It's never enough. I'm never enough. I feel exhausted and discouraged that nobody acknowledges that I'm trying. I am humiliated because I feel the need to be praised all the time, like a dog. I feel like an ungrateful piece of shit. Life was better in high school, when I believed I was the best at what I did. Even though I wasn't the best, the fact that I got praised gave me the drive to do that thing every fucking day until I improved, while now I can't even do the most basic of tasks without feeling overwhelmed. I hate this world.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 5 months now. He’s honestly one of the most attentive, kind, and supportive people I’ve ever been with. This weekend, he invited me to spend time with his mom in the countryside, and everything was going really well,until Saturday night, when he shared something that’s been weighing on me.

Up until now, I knew very little about his past relationships. He had told me he’d been cheated on in his longest relationship and had a few others, but never went into much detail. That felt a bit odd to me at the time, since I’ve been very open about my own dating history, including things that hurt me or shaped me.

That night, he told me that he had actually cheated multiple times in past relationships, including in his longest one and that his ex still doesn’t know. He admitted that he used to even boast about it because it made him feel desired. According to him, he deeply regrets that version of himself now. He says he’s apologized to people he hurt and has tried to take accountability for his actions. He even went as far as confessing to a Catholic priest, despite not being religious.

When he told me all of this, I had this heavy, sinking feeling in my stomach. On one hand, I really value his honesty and the fact that he seems to recognize how wrong his past behavior was. On the other hand, I’m struggling to believe that someone can genuinely change so quickly, especially since this all happened fairly recently (he’s 24 now, and these things happened around age 23).

He hasn’t given me any reason to distrust him in our relationship so far. But I’m conflicted. I want to create a safe space where he can be honest with me about anything, even difficult thoughts, but I also don’t want to ignore my instincts or put myself in a position where I lose self-respect.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you navigate trust when your partner has a history like this? Is it realistic to believe someone can change this quickly, or am I overlooking something important?