u/PowerPuffEggplant

40 female. Ive been in cyber threat intelligence since 2019. I went into it because at the time it was the only remote area that was hiring and i was a care giver. Got stuck with it. Prior to that i was working in middle office for 5-6 yrs. I had been trying to return to middle office but without any luck all those years, so i embraced cyber.. Went and got crisc, comptia sec+, an msc. For the past year and a half ive been working for a very toxic company and bosses. I keep my head low and i just continue, but im trying to find a new role. I havent had an interview in over a year. Ive tweaked my cv, hired pros to rewrite it, tried using previous acquantances etc. Nothing works. I feel done, exhausted, humiliated, i dont know what to do. I bought my flat 2 yrs when things were great, now i got nothing aside and the way those rejections are coming i cant really think i will ever find another job, and if i get laid off..im cooked. I took a small loan to attend some exec programmes in big uni names. Nothing. Ive tried applying to many different roles.

Many cyber intel roles require sole british passport nowadays (was not the case prior to 2023 or so). I am alone. I have no parents or family, or anyone to help me in case anything goes terribly wrong. Where do i go from here? Will the market ever pick up? Am i just the unlucky one for now? Should i completely change careers? Country?

I am 40 female. I live in UK, i am from southern europe. I worked in middle office from 2012-2018. Ive been in threat intelligence since then. I am trying to get into straregic intel, but for the past two years ive been getting rejected because recruiters tell me they prefer ex mod, ex military, and native english speakers.

Ive tried tweaking my cv, hiring pros to rewrite it, make it more cyber risk, ops risk, fintech, grc, fraud, financial crime.etc. Nothing works. I do not enjoy the technical cyber parts, and i dont get them either. Im an econ grad. Ive tried everything. I feel this area is reserved for native speakers and for military background at the moment.

What can i do with this background? I dont speak any other language, so moving to a new country is tricky (my friends who live in other eu countries tell me the same..companies nowadays prefer local. its not how it used to be 15 yrs ago). Ive also gotten CRISC, but hasnt helped. Im now studying for ctia.. I really dont know which career could want or need or embrace my background? (im from a small place in my natjve country which is financially ruined, so there is ni chance i could land a job there)

Months of debilitating pain of lower back pain. Mri showed edema. Started not to able to sleep at night at all. 6 months of no answers. Everyone said its osteoarthritis cos im a 40yr old woman. Started having to wear crutches. Gained weight. Nearly lost my job. Soooo many meds, nothing worked. A week ago i decided myself, to go get a ct scan of my si joint, cos someone said they is a shadow there..'which is probably osteoarthritis cos of your age'. Radiologist said its an osteoarthritic cyst. Orthopedist said this is an osteoid osteoma inside the si join. Im stuck abroad, came to visit my mother, had to do the operation here. Unpaid leave.. Had my rfa ablation 3 days ago. Not gonna lie the pain after procedure is intense. But im so so so exhausted...The last thing i expected to be causing this pain was a random benign tumour that usually affects younger people. Procedure took 3 hours, i have it in usb..but i dont have the mental capacity to check it out...Hospital gave me opiods, which dont help bone pain..Now im home with ibuprofen and xanax. I still cant be hopeful,im exhausted by now.

I started having intense back back many months ago. Had a lumbar mri at first, nothing showed. I uploaded it to grok and it said something is in the sacral area. But doctors dismissed it as 'youre a 40year old female, so its probably osteoarthritis'. Kept aching. Had a hip mri. Radiologist said its arthritis cos of my age. Uploaded it to grok, it said i need an si joint scan cos something is there. Asked my orthopedist he said no way its that, youre too old for that. Had a ct. Again radiologist said its an age problem. Grok insisted its osteoid osteoma. Had a scintigraphy scan. Clear osteoid osteoma. Officially diagnosed.

Just thought id share.

Im exhausted. I dont know what to do. Im in my early 40s and i feel this is it for me. I had a nice life until i was 30. Then i lost my partner to cancer, the only partner i ever had. Then my dad fought cancer for 5 years and i was his care giver (i would do it again to my last breath if i could save him). The pandemic happened. Lost my dad and aunt the same week. Life as i knew ended. No more family gatherings, no more fun, no more singing, no more family holidays. Just an empty life. I had to leave and go abroad for work (i come from the balkans). I left my mother behind, who is blind and has dementia, and i have care givers for her..Ive been trying to find a job to go back, but in my home country you only find a job if you know people or..you know. Ive been begging my relatives and few friends to help me but..

I decided to try and do better, and create a stable life....I got a mortgage to buy the flat i had been living in for the past 6 yrs. The day i signed the mortgage, i got laid off without any warning. Took me 5 months for find a new job. All my savings went back to 0.

I despise my job, i live month by month due to the mortgage now. The prices since last year in my area have dropped 20%! First time ever in London. Since i bought the flat, the building got mice, my pipes have burst..

And it just got even better. I just came to visit my mother last month and i had insane pain in my back. Turns out i have a tumour. The only nsaid that works for the pain is aspirin. But i cant take it, cos i have a bleeding disorder! I cant get the surgery, because the hospital needs time to gather platelets for me. I am on unpaid leave (cos my uk company doesnt allow work from abroad). And i obviously cant have the surgery cos that would mean months of rehabilitation, and with 0 income the bank will get my flat and i wont be able to find a job again or even rent. I cant sell cos the valuation is 100k less than i bought it, and you also pay a fine if you sell it, which is a huge fine, and i cant afford it if it gets sold for 100k less. Ill even need to cover that... I cant rent it cos youll need 25% of its equity paid to change the mortgage(i ofcourse dont have that cash now). Ive been sending cvs like crazy, but the uk market is really really bad.

I am drowning. Yes im on antidepressants. I really do now know how to cope with all these. Ive seen therapists, psychiatrists.

ps my bank has given me 2 month mortgage holidays. but im also not getting paid from work at the same time, so its not like im saving any money to help me.

I came abroad to see family and was diagnosed with a tumour. Its benign, but the pain is insufferable and i cant walk. I also have a serious bleeding disorder, so i cant take aspirin or nsaids which help the pain.

Doctors want to remove it here, my company wont allow me to work from abroad, they put me on statutory sick leave. My bank has given me 2 months of mortgage holiday. They wont give more they said. I have none in uk to help me/care for me while im recovering from the surgery, so the option to come back immediately after the removal is not an option(doctors dont allow it either). The recovery, if all goes well, is about 4-6 weeks.

I am 40, i have none else to help with the mortgage payments, i have none to take a loan from.

The flat is currently undergoing major reconstruction cos while i was on holidays the communal pipes burst, and i cant rent it out.

Is it better to come over for 2-3 weeks work as normal as i possibly can, and hand my 3 month notice, asking for gardening leave? The market is bad, ive been trying to change jobs since october and its not happening.

Is it best to go ahead and do the surgery and continue to statutory sick leave? My savings arent much, cos it all went to buying the flat a year ago.

Any suggestions please?

ps. winning the euromillions has better chance than this

For context: 39 female. Have been bruising since i was a child. Random bruises out of nowhere. Sometimes i scratch myself and i get petechia. I also have 500k platelets since i was a kid (triple negative for ET). My sprains take months to heal.

I just got my platelet aggregatio results (i am in the balkans, we didnt have these tests easily available here).

I have low aggregation to adp, adrenaline and collagen.

38% to adp

20% to adrenaline

50% to collagen

Hematologist said this is severe and ill need to register with the hemophiliac center in case i need plts in the future.

clotting time normal

I had my nose septum fixed years ago but i had no bleed..I bleed significantly when teeth are taken out.

Hematologist also said there is no name for thia disorder. Is there?