u/Pretty_Count_4708

And I don’t mean a super hot brown girl being compared to a mid white girl.
I mean, if we take two women both almost equally attractive in terms of looks, won‘t the white girl still be approached more often and considered more conventionally attractive?

I feel like having lighter hair, eyes, features just comes with it’s own novelty factor. Recently, I was sitting in college with a friend. Now I know that she is drop dead gorgeous and I am not right now (overweight and all). After a while she was approached by a guy that had been looking in our direction for quite a bit. I have never once in my life been approached and even past romantic experiences were pretty shit.

Good for her but I wonder if it is even worth it to make the effort to glow up. Will I even ever be considered as attractive? I don’t have light eyes (i feel like lighter eyed south asians are their own group) Sure, my features are not bad (high cheekbones, narrow nose and so on). But even if I manage to look as good as her, won’t she still be considered more attractive simply by being white?

And I don’t mean a super hot brown girl being compared to a mid white girl.
I mean, if we take two women both almost equally attractive in terms of looks, won‘t the white girl still be approached more often and considered more conventionally attractive?

I feel like having lighter hair, eyes, features just comes with it’s own novelty factor. Recently, I was sitting in college with a friend. Now I know that she is drop dead gorgeous and I am not right now (overweight and all). After a while she was approached by a guy that had been looking in our direction for quite a bit. I have never once in my life been approached and even past romantic experiences were pretty shit.

Good for her but I wonder if it is even worth it to make the effort to glow up. Will I even ever be considered as attractive? I don’t have light eyes (i feel like lighter eyed south asians are their own group) Sure, my features are not bad (high cheekbones, narrow nose and so on). But even if I manage to look as good as her, won’t she still be considered more attractive simply by being white?

I am sure there are people that can feel comfortable in their own skin at a higher weight but I wonder if most of them have ever been truly fit and know the difference it makes.

Cause you just live life completely differently when you are healthy and athletic.

Clothes fit you better, you wake up with more energy, everyday life is just easier when you are not carrying around more than you need to, you look better and people automatically treat you better too.

And sure, you can always have body dysmorphia or insecurities but most people will have very few when they are healthy and fit.

Inwant to be with someone that is in my age range (23-35), kindhearted, intelligent, has similar values (wants to do good in the world), is ambitious and disciplined, goes to the gym, is more of a homebody than a party-animal but knows how to let loose too, wants to make good money (I‘m in medschool so I can obviously offer the same too), is nerdy and physically attractive (taller than me, muscular/sporty, good head of hair etc).

I‘ve actually never dated so I have no idea if these are unreachable standards but I am assuming not? What is your opinion?

I live and grew up in Europe and often had relatives make comparisons regarding the culture and completely demean white people while propping up Indian culture.
„We have sanskar“ „Our children respect their elders“ „Our women still know how to behave“. „White people are selfish and only care about themselves“.

I‘m sorry but what exactly has that culture provided you with? On average Central Europe beats India in almost every aspect. The countries are cleaner, safer and living here is far easier because everyone has at least a basic level of civic sense.

India is unsafe for anybody that is vulnerable. Whether that is someone who is disabled, a child, women or animals. All these categories get taken care of better in the largely atheist and „self-centered“ Europe than in India.

This respect for elders you talk about? Well in Europe it goes both ways, as it should be. Children here have a way better bond to their parents than the average Indian does. The children here actively get up to let someone elder take a seat. How often have you seen that in Indian metros? People don’t even hold the door open for the person after them in India.

Sanskar? What is the point of them if the average day to day life is simple exhausting because people have no sense and have to hustle to survive? Sanskar is not saving the polluted rivers, harmful air and destroyed lives.

The women here live 100x better lives. They can mostly go out at night without fear. They are free to wear what they want, dress how they want and live their lives according to their own beliefs. They can date who they like, which is the next topic.

The arranged marriages that get presented as a virtue and counterpoint to the „many divorces“ in the West. Just look around you and see how many marriages are actually happy. How many you yourself would like to have. Even here I would prefer to be marry someone and divorce them if it does not work out instead of being killed because my parents didn’t give this beggar more dowry.

I am eternally grateful to my parents for migrating and growing up, I still had pride when it comes to India. But seeing headline after headline of women being abused makes me reconsider and never associate with this country again.

Bin neulich mit ein paar Freunden durch die Stadt geschlendert und hatte wieder mal den Gedanken wie gut es uns doch geht.
Das Land, die Luft und das Wasser sind sauber, man ist sicher und kann sein Leben ehrlich genießen.
Abends mit paar Freunden in eine Bar oder Restaurant gehen, dort das Spiel schauen, dann durch die Stadt schlendern und sich zuletzt an die Donau setzten.

Ja es gibt hier wie in jedem Land Probleme und die will ich keineswegs klein reden aber als Großes und Ganzes ist Österreich wirklich ein Paradies und ich bin jedes Mal erneut dankbar, dass ich hier lebe.

In anderen Worten: wo sind die wenigsten Gruppen halbwüchsiger Jungs, welche sich nicht zu benehmen wissen und das ganze Badeerlebnis versauen?

Frage das vor allem als Frau.

Man liest nur frustrierte und hoch unzufriedene Kollegen, die lieber was anderes machen wollen.

Jetzt bin ich im 4. Studienjahr, zum Wechseln ist es zu spät, aber all diese Posts machen mir riesige Angst.

Ich seh dass sie immer noch offen ist aber ist das Wasser zu dieser Zeit nicht ultra heiß dort?

Growing up in a European country where the people are predominantly white can be challenging as a brown girl.
I have a light to medium caramel skintone and remember how cruel my classmates used to be about it. I still remember this one dude coming up to me to shake my hand and then wipe it on his pants just to make his friends laugh.

It got so bad at a point that they needed to bring in all our teachers to stand in front of the entire class and tell them to stop.

But now being in my late 20s I am realizing what a blessing my skintone is. I get mistaken for someone 10 years younger and am just generally aging a loooot better than every single one of those people. No wrinkles, tighter skin - just a flawless tone in general.
Not to mention that they tend to go lie in tanning beds or get self tans just to reach the skintone that I naturally have.

If there is any brown person here reading this and struggling in the same way I did, just wait until you get older. You will definitely be glad for your skincolor once you turn 30 (at the latest).

Every day feels pointless.

I grew up in the West and am eternally grateful that my parents decided to migrate.
As much as I would like to love India, I just can’t because the current state of the country is so shameful.

Seeing how the people lack basic civic sense, rapes are rampant against women and most people live in a dire state of poverty is just disheartening.

And even the more educated crowd is overweight, abusive to their children and patriarchal.
Yes, you can say that at the very least brown people are hardworking. I am not saying that there are no good qualities associated with being brown.

But if I compare it with the culture I grew up in I just have to admit that I would rather live here than in India. And would rather have the people with central european mentality around me than brown people. Especially as a woman it is sooo uncomfortable to have older brown people around.

The moment you dress less modestly, wear a bikini or what not you get stared at. Actually you even get stared at when you are just simply existing.

India has a lot of promise and potential but how am I supposed to like associating with it when so many negative (unfortunately often accurate) stereotypes exist against it and my life is clearly better here than it could’ve ever been in India? What has India given me?

There are a few rumors floating around in this sub and I am wondering if someone knows him personally or knows if they are true.