in my late teens in the uk. i live in a “diverse” area except it’s not really diverse with 2 ethnic groups dominating it. about 50% are white and the other 50% are mainly pakistani. then its minority black and east asian.

i feel like the reason ive always been single is because i’m egyptian so im too niche. i’m too niche for the white guys, too niche for the pakistani ones, and too niche for the black guys. i look too ambiguous, ive been mistaken for every other ethnicity at this point. i have very dark hair, dark eyes and am light skinned so its hard to miss me, i look different to most people.

i dont look like i belong to anyone. all the couples in my very large sixth form are ones where both people are of the same race. my black friends have black boyfriends, my white friends have white boyfriends, my pakistani friends have pakistani bfs and so on. i’m so tired of not feeling desired by anyone. im so tired of feeling too niche. i appreciate my egyptian culture but im also very british. i wish i didn’t feel like an “other”, different, i wish boys saw me and saw a familiar face, not an exotic girl.

i sometimes wish i fit in a box. i wish i knew what race i was. i wish i wasn’t so ethnically ambiguous. i wish that imaginary race was mainstream enough that i could see tiktok’s or reddit posts on “x y z girls” and share our experiences. or how others see us.

its not my fault that guys pick girls who they’re familiar with, who look like them. i wish it wasn’t that way. i don’t mind dating outside my ethnicity. in fact its probably what will happen since im such a minority. but i dont think non egyptian guys subconsciously choose egyptian girls. im trying my best to feel desirable but i cant.

i think im pretty and very few guys have briefly liked me and have been in online talking stages with me. but they never chose me. when they get bored they just go and date a girl that looks like them and shares their culture. i hate it... i wish i looked like i belonged to someone. i hate how the first question im asked by a guy is where im from because i dont fit in the above categories.

back in egypt, it’s so easy for guys to like me. bcs there im the baseline. im the blueprint. i feel so beautiful. i only have to doll myself up a bit and id get lots of attention and very nice treatment.

i’m not looking for attention but in the uk it’s not like that. when i doll myself up, it’s all crickets. im still invisible. guys don’t look in my direction. i wish non egyptians treated me the same. my white girl friends in particular can slap some mascara on and they’d be getting so much attention and a boyfriend just like that. they are probably the exception i can think of, they’re liked by all ethnicities.

idk what to do. im just so sick of feeling too niche to get a boyfriend. i promise im like every other girl. i just feel so horribly different and undesirable.

I’ll be 18 in a few months and honestly I can’t deal with having periods, for starters I got mine when I was 9 and from then till now my periods have never been on time and I’ve always missed a few months but whenever I do get my period it’s super painful and most importantly mentally I am drained and exhausted to the point where my mood swings like crazy…

I’m not sexually active but obviously that’s not just the only reason why one should be on birth control.

I wanna be on it because I can’t get my period, if there is a way to not go through it and block it I’ll take it.

Idk, my mindset is right or not and what are the consequences of birth control, please help me! 🙏🏽

guys, this is really my first time on this subreddit, but i really need help like as im writing this i’m crying about my weight and how i look

i don’t know what to do, genuinely i want to lose weight so bad but nothings working. i thought i was in a calorie deficit, but i guess not bc i don’t think ive lost any weight i think i actually gained weight.

i didn’t track my calories, i just don’t know how to because as u guys know desi food is SO hard to track. there’s so muchh calories in anything like oil etc. how do i individually track all of that bc my mom makes the food like she’s not measuring every tbsp of oil or spices that she puts. i could get a food scale but idek if that’s gonna work. i don’t know what to do seriously, im so accustomed to our like fatty oily food and i get so tired after school i just end up eating so much bc of how exhausted school makes me. seriously like that place fuels my depression so much and idk i think i end up eating so many calories in just one meal bc of how much my mom makes, its weird bc i rly dont even eat that many meals i eat 1x-2x a day.

i hate my body so much like it’s so embarrassing i don’t wanna look like this anymore. my weight is nerfing me so much and i feel my face would look so much better if i lost this weight. i just hate how i look i don’t wanna be perceived i feel like an alien. i just wanna feel pretty, i wanna feel like a beautiful girl. i feel so ashamed of myself. i want to glow up as well but idek where to fucking start like dude i need to lose weight i need to fix my eyebrows i need to learn how to do my makeup but idk how because i was never taught these things and i live in a really conservative religious household so these things r frowned upon. it just makes me so upset how much im held back by my parents and household

i’m like 5”1 and 150 something it’s so bad. i wanna get to 110 but i don’t know what to do like everytime i bring this up to my mom she keeps telling ne to stop focusing on this stuff and that it’s toxic “diet culture” and that im a kid who needs to eat like no bro i need to fucking lose this weight idk what to do bc my mom makes the food and she gets mad if i don’t finish it, i don’t even know how to track calories if i wanna stay ina. deficit, i dont have access to a gym near me bc i cant drive yet

It is so annoying to see girls from all over Asia titling their beauty routine or a product as "brown girl approved!!" because they approve of it personally on their own skin. brown girl already is an amorphous term that encompasses many different ethnic groups, skin undertones and overtones, hair types, etc. just very strange and feels somehow even othering to use that to discuss specific beauty care recommendations for a diverse population.

Is that even a sub for brown women?

I know another brown woman who got banned for the same reason and her comments deleted.

Is that sub actually being run by brown women, or by someone else?

semi-vent (long-ish) post, would love any advice that applies.

i’m tired of repeating the same talking points with my boyfriend over the same underlying issue. my newfound trust wounds make navigating all of this so hard.

i’ve found it best to be off social media for the most part, since that is where they’ve stemmed from. i don’t get to properly heal from this either as i somehow always end up finding something to trigger me. a like, a follow, a repost, et cetera. even after constant, clear, and healthy communication.

no amount of youtube videos, journaling or talking to him is helping now, although i have gotten less anxious which makes these hard feelings a bit easier to digest.

whenever i try to talk to him, it helps in the moment, but those feelings of betrayal / resentment keep popping up. i’m not normally an angry person. i wouldn’t call this holding a grudge even, because i’ve tried my best to forgive and try to move on—he just messes up often and i end up having to start from square one. it’s so disorienting.

i don’t feel like i know myself at all anymore—i’ve stopped being overly-giving, being emotionally available all the time, and just feel like i’m just performing feeling okay at this point.

i have also stopped caring too much about my hygiene, brushing my hair, or investing time into my hobbies / actual tasks with deadlines.

it has led me to compare myself to all the women i see online, especially ones i now categorize as “his type”. on our most recent date, i was in a rut the whole time but only got out of bed and showered because i was going to meet him. it felt like i was abandoning myself just to perform. during it, i was highly on edge. him taking his phone to the restroom made me catastrophize more.

i haven’t been this way, ever.

i’ve did my part extensively, addressed everything a billion times, and what i want. it has now been 3 months since something that changed the course of our relationship.

i will say, however, that where i went wrong was the constant mothering, not letting him feel and sit with the pain of the betrayal i was exposed to, because i do still love him and hope to fix things.

for context, space hasn’t ever helped us long-term since it doesn’t address the core hurt—it’s just become a way for me to either ignore my feelings, or sit with them completely alone. i give in to talking after a while because my body misunderstands missing him for me feeling okay to talk again.

i just want to come back to myself while still being with him. you could call me a martyr, or somebody who enjoys suffering, but i don’t wish to breakup right now. i’m just not ready for that yet, although i have considered it a bunch.

if it ever comes to that point, i want to do it on my own accord. not because i got influenced by some comments, even though i know you guys mean well. i love my sisters on here and wish to be better.

i had mentioned a breakup just last night but we both didn’t want that.

i just feel scared and hurt, all the time. i’m a naturally anxious person, so that doesn’t help either 😅

again, all of these feelings have been communicated to my bf a bunch of times. i’m just tired now, it seems pointless to talk to him about this.

tldr; boyfriend messed up on multiple occasions, dealing with the consequences of emotional betrayal and failure on his side to follow-through. how do i get myself out of a rut of resentment and anger?

Alot of these communities focus on skincare and lifestyle but I wanna know how to look good in desi clothes like kurtis, kameez, sarees in 12537°C weather. How to wear nice shoes on wonky streets. How not to have melting makeup in South Asian humidity.

I am 30, 5 feet, petitez and dark skinned. I used to look very youthful, often get mistaken for a uni student, but stress has made me look haggard and pinched. I usually wear dark clothes cause they are easier to coordinate.

Not sure if it helps but I did one of those feminine archetype quizzes and scored high for the Sage and the Mystic (funny because I teach in a uni)! I have noticed that prettier faculty get better reviews and are more popular. I know I will never be considered pretty because of my height and skin but I would like to look polished and untouchable.

HIIII, 18f, and I bought a bar of Kojie San soap(made in the Philippines) a month ago, and i went to see some relatives after one year, and everyone has been complimenting that I've gotten fairer and prettier! Basically, this soap has brightened my skin and is helping with my back acne and spots! Results within 3 weeks have been amazing; I just cannot wait to see what my skin will look like in one year. Furthermore, as a brown girl i struggled with dark under thighs, and it has reduced slightly after using the soap! IMO, this is the cheapest way to get clearer, smoother, and brighter skin. I encourage others to try it and see since I have had amazing positive results in a short time!

<3 <3 <3