u/ProfessionalCode5151

Given that we are fairly rare, do you ever meet other bigender people out in the wild? Is it only really likely in universities and big cities?

I'm 35, and accepted that I am trans about two months ago. Though in retrospect I've always had trans feelings, I always identified as cis and never had a queer friend. In recent year I ended up lurking at the edges of some online trans communities on twitter and tumblr, but never put myself out there. Since coming out to myself I've attended some trans meetups IRL. The people there are kind, but most of them are so much younger than me and yet have known each other for years. I'm not sociable at the best of times, and I'm so far behind, I fear I will never really belong. But I really need to. I need at least one close friend who comprehends what I'm going. Did any of you start completely outside the trans community, but still manage to find your people later in life?

My egg cracked a few weeks back. I realised I needed to transition to be more feminine. I thought I must be a trans woman, but I kept feeling vague distress at the idea of abandoning my male identity. I decided that it was just that I hadn't developed my female identity yet, or even some internalised misogyny. I often found it hard to relate to how trans woman talked about their former lives. I never felt oppressed by masculinity or feel much dysphoria. I was starting to fear I wasn't really trans.

Anyway, a few days ago I came across the concept of bigender. The idea that I could be fully male and fully female pretty much instantly relieved my distress and made me excited about transition again. So, I think bigender best describes how I feel, even though I don't know much about it.

I've ordered a flow neuroscience headset, because frankly I'm willing to try anything. I've heard a lot of marketing, but does anyone have actual experience of them being helpful?

I'm newly on HRT with an out of uk provider. I got the necessary blood tests done privately because I didn't want to wait a day longer than necessary. Should my gp be willing to provide the E/T level test in three months, or should I expect to pay for that as well?

Finally. Go estradiol go

A lot of people on here and elsewhere seem to have had fairly "fulfilling" lives, at least from the outside, before realizing they were trans, aside from the dysphoria. I really haven't. I've never had a girlfriend, there's no one I consider a close friend, I've been hiding at home most of my life. I really want to believe that transitioning will fix something fundamental in me and finally allow me to connect with others and stop me feeling like a failure and appreciate life, or at least put me in the space where I can help myself. Does anyone have any stories of transition completely turning their life around, or do I have to confront the fact that I have other issues?