u/Putrid_Problem_6696

I’ve been a SAHM full time for 2.5-3 years. We have an almost 7, 4, and 2 year old. I recently (9 weeks ago) had my second back surgery and have been feeling extremely overwhelmed/burnt out and thinking about sending my oldest and middle child to public school. This completely goes against everything my husband and I have ever said we would do. But in this state of life I’m in, I’d love a break. I homeschooled our oldest through kindergarten and it was rough just because of the younger two being so needy.

My husband has made the comment that maybe in a couple years we can pull them out and homeschool them again but he knows it would be better for me right now.

I’m so torn and looking for advice and maybe encouraging words.

I’ve been a SAHM full time for 2.5-3 years. We have an almost 7, 4, and 2 year old. I recently (9 weeks ago) had my second back surgery and have been feeling extremely overwhelmed and thinking about sending my oldest and middle child to public school. This completely goes against everything my husband and I have ever said we would do. But in this state of life I’m in, I’d love a break. I homeschooled our oldest through kindergarten and it was rough just because of the younger two being so needy.

My husband has made the comment that maybe in a couple years we can pull them out and homeschool them again but he knows it would be better for me right now.

I’m so torn and looking for advice and maybe encouraging words.

Hi! Has anyone went back to work as a nurse or nursing field profession after being fused from T2-pelvis? I was a CNA for 8 years prior to my last fusion (L4-pelvis) and I wanted to advance my career into LPN/RN but didn’t know if it was possible or even worth it. All I know is the healthcare field🫣

Hi! Has anyone went back to work as a nurse or nursing field profession after being fused from T2-pelvis? I was a CNA for 8 years prior to my last fusion (L4-pelvis) and I wanted to advance my career into LPN/RN but didn’t know if it was possible or even worth it. All I know is the healthcare field🫣

Hi! Has anyone went back to work as a nurse or nursing field profession after being fused from T2-pelvis? I was a CNA for 8 years prior to my last fusion (L4-pelvis) and I wanted to advance my career into LPN/RN but didn’t know if it was possible or even worth it. All I know is the healthcare field🫣

CONTEXT: we share a home with my parents. Helped build it and monetarily contribute monthly and with other things outside of the home. We can’t just inconspicuously file and then our car be gone the next day. We will have to answer to that. This is a whole other situation in itself.
We have no assets other than a 1999 Chevy c3500 truck that currently is not drivable and has 255k miles on it. We do live in North Carolina. I am unable to work and my husband’s gross income yearly is around $55k. We also have three young children. He wanted to know exact names of the lawyers I talked to, I guess because he doesn’t believe me. I’m 25 and my husband is 26.

My text to my dad:

Hi. So I don’t know why I feel like I have to explain mine and husband’s decisions to you when we are both adults but we are over trying to hide and beat around the bush. But yes we are getting rid of the black car. Yes, we know of the credit repercussions we will face. Yes, I have talked to a couple different lawyers about our options and our best one right now seems to file bankruptcy to get out of collections, credit debt, and to get out of the car loan. ( yes I have a public derogatory account that I didn’t realize until last week) Yes it will be on our credit for seven years but then we are done and have a clean slate. Credit repair starts happening immediately and we will qualify for a home loan within two years if it ever comes down to it.

No, we will not have to repay any debt. No, if yall ever do decide for us to inherit anything, we will not lose it. No, none of our 401ks, disability if I ever get it will be affected, or life insurance will be taken. No we will not have any collections, judgements, liens, etc.. This is pretty cut and dry in our situation.

We are going to be buying a car in cash pretty soon.

I don’t want to explain all of our reasonings but let’s face it, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to hold a good paying full time job due to my health. If god forbid something happens to husbands health we would be SOL.

You don’t have to agree with our choices but I’d hope you wouldn’t be a complete ass about it either.

All further questions can be taken up with husband. I don’t like being questioned or yelled at.

Dads Responses:

For what I’ve been told it’s up to a judge to approve bankruptcy. It’s not just something that has given.

Credit counseling must be completed 6 months before filing.
I pray I’m wrong, but it is not cut and dry, and you’re done. It just does not work that way.

I totally, 100 percent think you’re screwing up.
Filing bankruptcy initially is gonna cost you between 303 $340 just to file. You probably could take that same money and fix the car and have something decent to drive. After filing bankruptcy, you will have to tell them everything that you own and you will not be able to have a vehicle worth over $3500 and that’s probably what Jesse’s truck down there is worth. They will seize the property and sell it to pay the debt.

I’ve made post before explaining our living situation. We have helped my parents build a multi-generational home and we have the “basement” which is a fully finished and furnished 2000sqft house 3B/2br. We pay approximately $500-600 a month for living expenses. My parents have the same thing but upstairs and they pay about the same. We also split yearly property taxes.

It’s constantly a guilt trip about how much money they have spent building the house and how their savings is lowering. My husband did majority of the manual labor.

My dad always makes off the wall comments about how we aren’t doing enough or “not doing our fair share” and they feel like they are having to pay a lot more than us.

They have something to say about me homeschooling our kids, the way we raise them, how clean the house is, etc..

I am 4 weeks post op from my second major spinal fusion and one of the off handed comments my mom said was “well this is why your daddy told you to not have more kids than you can handle”.. who in the hell says that to someone while they are at the time 2.5 weeks post op. I can more than handle my children when I am healthy.

My dad is just what I’m coming to realize a narcissist and a douche bag.

I don’t know what to do. Part of me feels like we just need to move out but the other part is feeling guilty for leaving because this is all my kids know and all I really know myself. I know it would hurt my parents majorly but I feel like in order for us to be a family without conflict and constant judgment, it would be best.

My husband and I are struggling. We bought a car a year ago and it’s been nothing but problems since we got it along with having a high interest rate. Recently found out after having it in the shop that we have a voided warranty due to undisclosed aftermarket products that were put on the car before we bought it and have to now pay out of pocket for repairs. We have absolutely no means or way to trade out of it, sell it and pay negative equity, or get a personal loan for the negative. 

This is extremely embarrassing for me to tell someone but on top of all of this, I found that I have around $7k sitting in collections right now, $9k in credit/loan debt, and a $26k car loan. 

My husband is working as much as he can while also taking care of me and the kids but we are still only averaging $3200 a month. After everything is said and done we have about $1200 left for gas, groceries, medical, and other necessities. 

We have no assets besides a 27 year old truck. We share a generational home with my parents that one day at their demise we will inherit. We can’t keep living paycheck to paycheck but I completely understand this is our fault. 

Also good to note that I’m physically unable to work.

Has anyone regretted it? My family tells us we are being stupid and ruining our lives.

Hi all! I’m a stay at home mama to three littles ages 6.5, 4, and 22 months. We homeschooled our daughter for kindergarten this year. I’m gonna be honest, it was a freaking struggle. Between my 22 month and 4 year old, there is constant interruptions and noise.

Selfishly, I know that if I send my oldest and my middle to school this coming school year, I’ll have a lot more time for myself and for other mom tasks. Right now I feel spread thin and I hold so many positions (mama, teacher, house cleaner, etc..).

In my heart, I know that I want to protect my kids from this cruel world we live in. I can’t shelter them for forever but I can maintain their innocence for as long as possible. I’m scared for anything bad to happen to them. (Can you tell I have anxiety?) I feel like I just need to suck it the heck up and continue on with homeschooling but part of me longs for a much needed break.

I’m not a fun mom. I try my best to be but I’m so overwhelmed at the end of the day and I literally shut down. Between cleaning, cooking, teaching, taking care of the kids, I don’t have time nor the desire to do fun activities. I’m in constant state of arguing with my kids to clean up after themselves and I’m so dang tired of it.

I need to vent and I need advice.

Please send help🙃