u/Puzzled_Island_1160

Anyone else have this?
I keep dreaming of my deceased patient. Nothing overly graphic. Single image of them dressed in there clothes that was picked out for them to wear. I suddenly wake up, if I fall asleep. I’ll wake up again with the same image. It’s been every night since it happened. I am struggling to comprehend one aspect of this death but I don’t feel it’s okay to disclose for privacy reasons.

I saw my therapist yesterday. Pin pointed; my inner critic of over thinking what more I could have done in my overall situation to support everyone else involved. Could be a reason why ? I feel like normally I can find a reason but this time I can’t seem to figure out why I’m not able to let go. Iv genuinely felt so sad. Iv not experienced this before and have been exposed to death numerous times. Sounds so silly to go on about. I’m overly passionate about EOL care and have wanted to leave the profession. Then I experience this and I have purpose to stay and excel in my career. It’s a mind fuck!

How to I move on from this. How do I explain this to colleagues for support ? What’s your thoughts ?

Anyone else vomiting and have nausea after a barium swallow ?
I called the clinic and they had no information for me but to see my GP. They said it can’t be a reaction.

I had the test at 10am and suddenly by 12:30 I was so sick. I had been driving and had to stop in the middle of the road, and I’m just projectile out of my car. The clinic said my test was “normal”. My issue is this after sensation normal.

I can’t get into my GP but I’m not febrile or having any sharp pains. I’m also coeliac so not sure maybe my gut just hated this.

I’m reading conflicting information I’d love some insight from people in my position.

Context I am in Australia.
Curious what others have done in this situation.
As some may be aware ADHD meds in Australia contain gluten.

I’m newly diagnosed coeliac disease October 2025
ADHD in February 2026

My Gastroenterologist said it’s not safe for me to have medication that contains gluten as there isn’t enough evidence to support its safety.

My psychiatrist has consultant a colleague for advise. This person stated some people still take the medication or it is possible to get a compounded formula.

Advised by my psychiatrist to talk to my pharmacy they are unable to help or compound the medication - DEXAMFETAMINE, short acting Ritalin.

At the moment I’m not on medication due to a sleep study.
I have tried dexamphetamine for 6 weeks
Then was changed to 20mg vyvance for two weeks
30mg vyvnace for two weeks with Dex top up. Tried 5mg and 10mg
Downside - underlying depression is worse and I have thoughts of not wanting to wake up.

I was told I have to try short acting Ritalin before long acting and the short acting contains gluten.

The coeliac website is unclear. It states TGA must declare if gluten is present when 20ppm. But then I’ll find a random paragraph that adhd meds are fine to take. All the pharmaceutical companies don’t disclose the ppm.

I’m new to coeliac disease anyways and probably had exposure either from being out or just learning and failing at home. My body feels broken so I don’t know what’s being caused by medication or just me.

Context I am in Australia.
Curious what others have done in this situation.
As some may be aware ADHD meds in Australia contain gluten.

I’m newly diagnosed coeliac disease October 2025
ADHD in February 2026

My Gastroenterologist said it’s not safe for me to have medication that contains gluten as there isn’t enough evidence to support its safety.

My psychiatrist has consultant a colleague for advise. This person stated some people still take the medication or it is possible to get a compounded formula.

Advised by my psychiatrist to talk to my pharmacy they are unable to help or compound the medication - DEXAMFETAMINE, short acting Ritalin.

At the moment I’m not on medication due to a sleep study.
I have tried dexamphetamine for 6 weeks
Then was changed to 20mg vyvance for two weeks
30mg vyvnace for two weeks with Dex top up. Tried 5mg and 10mg
Downside - underlying depression is worse and I have thoughts of not wanting to wake up.

I was told I have to try short acting Ritalin before long acting and the short acting contains gluten.

The coeliac website is unclear. It states TGA must declare if gluten is present when 20ppm. But then I’ll find a random paragraph that adhd meds are fine to take. All the pharmaceutical companies don’t disclose the ppm.

I’m new to coeliac disease anyways and probably had exposure either from being out or just learning and failing at home. My body feels broken so I don’t know what’s being caused by medication or just me.

I’m struggling with grief. I genuinely have these crashout moments I just feel like it’s easier if I just wasn’t here. I won’t act but I just feel so lonely and broken of a human. I’m 35 and single female.

I work as a nurse in a children’s hospital, I’m surrounded by people who need me all the time. Death and pure heartbreak is everywhere. I’m so exhausted after work I can’t keep up with life.

In 2025 my health deteriorated. Diagnosed with Celiac disease, syncopes, dysautonomia and rare migraine. Multiple hospital admissions today I don’t have answers what happened.

I don’t have a relationship with my parents. My mum was abusive and I cut contact. So my dad cut me off. He almost died 3 times last year. I flew up to see him and he looked me in the eye and wanted me to leave. My dad won’t face the truth of what my mother did to me. I question myself every day. They are old, don’t have much time left.

My uncle become sick in ICU. I had to take him off life support and sat with him for two hours while he took his last breath. I did this with two patients at before and after his death. I then became the family member being taken into a room. I am so traumatised from the experience. When I’m at work, watching the family scream and cry. I cried too. They had no idea I just experienced the same pain.

My friend passed away from bowel cancer. I hadn’t got to spend as much time as I should have before he died. I spent the last days of his life at the hospital with his wife my close friend. He died, I danced with his two baby girls they were too little to understand what happened. Doing my best to support them all. There are days I have no one to grieve too. Because they need me.

My best friend had a baby, he is so beautiful. She lives over an hour away and has been caught up in motherhood.

Over NYE had falling out with girls. I wasn’t invited. I expressed my hurt over this. Because my year has been so depressing. Now I just feel like a burden to everyone.

I have since been diagnosed with adhd. Maybe the meds wearing off I’m having a crash out they call it.
I had an abnormal MRI few months ago and they are looking into MS.

I can’t save because I’m trying to fix my health.
I’m either in pain, depressed, tired, scared to eat out, sleeping. My body hates me. I have no energy to date. I genuinely feel like the most broken human.
I have no no one to get a hug from.
Hold me and tell me it’s shit but I’m here for you.