u/Quiet-Chapter6467

I (36F) have been married to my husband (39M) for 16 years. We married very young and have struggled throughout our relationship. He used to have a wandering eye and expressed little interest in me, but I stayed because our religion prohibited divorce.

We’ve since left the religion, and he’s changed a lot, but there’s still a major disconnect. After years of feeling unwanted, my self confidence took a hit, and I don’t think I can regain a deep love for him. We have a 6yo, and he’s a great father. We’re trying marriage counselling, but I feel emotionally numb to his efforts.

I don’t know how much of this is people pleasing or religious conditioning keeping me stuck. I don’t want to blow up my son’s life, but I also wish my husband could see that we aren’t good together. I’ve had this conversation with him many times, but he says he’s happy, and that seems to be all that matters to him.

I have gotten really into weight training and fitness the past 8 months. I'm finally at the point where I see visible results and muscle growth. One thing that has not changed much is my DR. I have a 4cm gap that was caused by a major midline surgery to correct a kidney issue. I have tried every physiotherapy and exercise under the sun with no luck on ever closing it. I have definitely strengthened my TV muscles but because it was surgically induced, the doctors don't think it'll close. I'm on the waitlist to see if medical will cover the repair, and while I'm very excited at the thought of it being fixed, I'm sad to have to lose all my weight training progress. Those of you who have had DR surgically repaired, how long did you wait till you went back to weight lifting? Were you scared to do it again? Is there any strange tugging or pulling sensations after?

I have longstanding hydronephrosis in my left kidney due to an undetected stricture in my left ureter for years. The ureter was reimplanted but unfortunately my kidney has already been damaged beyond repair. The NM scan was done yesterday to see what percentage of function it has left. My right side has always been healthy. But I drank more water than I needed to before the scan, and once they gave me lasix I felt like I was bursting. I lasted just over 5 minutes and quickly ran to the bathroom. At that point when I urinated, I got shooting spasm like pains in my GOOD side. I am so terrified that all the backed up urine has now damaged the working side, as today (day after scan) my right side feels irritated and crampy. Anyone have similar experiences? I'm panicking.

Recently started watching Pluribus. Without any spoilers, the human race becomes unified with one mind and are constantly happy and joyful. They are cleaning up dead bodies from DDay with a smile on their face and skip in their step, and anything negative is instantly deflected to something positive. It is unnerving and creepy. I never actually visualized how the paradise would be with everyone having one mind, but this does a pretty good job of depicting it. There can't be any room for individuality under this new rule, as individuality causes dissent.

I think what Christians pathologize as being "imperfect" is actually just us being human. Being a human is messy and beautiful. It never was perfect, and never will be.

I know this is something I will continue to have to work through with a therapist, but I'm wondering if anyone else has been in my situation... I am leaving a 16 year marriage to someone who was disappointed with my body, particularly my small chest (AA cup). He always lusted after women with more of a chest, I actually have no idea why he ever pretended to be attracted to me while we were dating. I'm absolutely terrified of entering the dating world. How do I shake my core belief that my body will disappoint anyone I'm intimate with?

My husband and I hard faded about 6 months ago. We are fully convinced we cannot raise our young son in the Borg, and are very resolved in this.

The part that is so incredibly hard is the constant barrage of texts from old friends and acquaintances. I'm actually shocked to the core the audacity people have, and the things they are willing to say now that we have faded. And because of the nature of mind control and fear mongering that witnesses hear constantly, I can't even be remotely honest about the reasons we left. It's interesting to me that the texts always start out loving with lots of emojis and concern 🥹 but when you reply saying that you're doing well and nothing is wrong, they switch to anger and confrontation.

How have you all gone about dealing with this? I've been a HARD CORE people pleaser all my life (the JW special) and dealing with people who were once close friends really tears me up.

I have always been flat chested. I am an active person and recently have gotten into taking better care of my body with consistent weight training. Unfortunately, having a more toned body has resulted in what little breast volume I had completely disappearing. Implants are not an option as I already have an autoimmune disorder. I have thought of doing a fat transfer, but I really would like to just be happy with my body as it is. Honestly I'd rather use the 20k to do more schooling and improve my mind. Have any of you read any books that helped you love yourself and overcome insecurities? I always feel like I have less to offer than other women who have been genetically blessed in the breast department.