u/Realistic_Cabinet_42

This might sound shallow, but I’m genuinely curious if any other Christian women who waited until marriage have struggled with this.

I’m getting married, and lately I’ve been thinking about how when I was younger and much skinnier, I felt like my body was at its physical peak. I had the tiny waist/body that I personally loved, but I was a virgin and committed to waiting, so no man ever got to see or experience my body intimately during that time.

Now that I’m actually going to have a husband and finally experience that kind of intimacy, I’m heavier and don’t feel like I have the same “hot” body I had back then. It almost makes me frustrated thinking, Why did I have that body when nobody could see it, and now that my husband finally can, I don’t look like that anymore?

To be clear, I’m not saying I regret waiting until marriage or wish I had slept with people back then. It’s more like I’m mourning that version of my body and wishing my future husband could have experienced me when I felt the most physically attractive.

Has anyone else who waited experienced this feeling before marriage? Did your perspective change once you actually got married and became intimate with your spouse?

Edited for clarity

I just got engaged to my boyfriend last weekend and wanted some advice.
Our current plan is to sign a lease on a 2-bedroom apartment in September and also elope around that time. For example, we may move in around September 18–20, then get married the following weekend (around our anniversary, September 25–28). We’d celebrate with our families and then spend the weekend at a hotel, as I’d rather not consummate the marriage in our new apartment.

We’re also semi-long distance (about 3 hours apart), so I don’t really want to move and elope during the same weekend. That feels like a lot of major life changes all at once, and I’d rather space everything out.

As for intimacy, we’re both virgins and have talked about what sex might look like for us. I’ve never been on birth control, and while I’m looking into my options, the pill makes me a little nervous because of the potential side effects. We’d most likely use condoms regardless.
Our larger wedding is tentatively planned for May 2027 so we can save money and celebrate with our close family and friends.

My question is: Would it be strange if we waited until then for penetrative sex, but were intimate in other ways after we’re legally married?
My fiancé has told me he’s completely okay with waiting and would never pressure me. In a way, he’s leaving the decision up to me, which I really appreciate. Part of me wonders if I might feel differently in the moment, but right now I think I’d rather wait.

Originally, I always imagined having sex for the first time on our wedding night or honeymoon after our full wedding celebration. Because our legal marriage may happen months earlier for practical reasons, does this seem out of order? Given our circumstances, it feels like the best approach for us, but I’d love to hear others’ thoughts—especially if anyone has been in a similar situation.

Hey everyone! Don’t wanna jump ahead or anything like that but I finally got contacted by an agency for a 15 minute phone screening! This is the farthest I’ve gotten and prior to this I did a background check. Any tips for this? I’ve interviewed and done tons of phone screenings prior but never for the federal government. What does the process/timeline look like after this?

It’s for the Mark Center in Alexandria VA. I received the notice of referral on 6/15 and got contacted on 6/18.

My boyfriend is also a government worker but in a different agency. I’m still continuing to apply elsewhere but just excited at potential and even if this does not work out it’ll be a nice experience either way. Will keep everyone posted as well!

I’ve been dating my boyfriend going on 2 years in September and he’s a virgin as well. I’ll be turning 27 in August and him 30 also in August. We’ve been discussing marriage and even went ring shopping recently so I’m super excited about the future!

I will say though, I have been struggling with desire and masturbation/porn alot on my own. When I was younger, thought by this age I’d be married by now and I feel a sense of frustration and anxiety about how my first time will go and most importantly when it will happen. I’m slightly approaching the I’m tired of waiting mark but of course I don’t want to ruin my relationship with lust and my boyfriend is very respectful and keeps this boundary strong as well.

If anyone has dealt with this personally how did you handle this? I feel like alot of these thoughts are internal and knowing myself I won’t actually act on this and have sex but it’s just frustration and anxiety I’m dealing with regarding still being a virgin at this age and how I want my first time to do/when it will happen.

For those who are married is it worth the wait and did everything work out okay? Do you regret waiting? How did you deal with nerves/anxiety?

I also have one final question not sure how taboo it is or not. Does size matter? I haven’t seen my boyfriends obviously so I guess that is a surprise but I wonder about that too. He’s the first virgin I’ve dated long term and the other men of my past were non virgins. It’s a breath of fresh air but of course in my head I always had the fantasy of the man leading that interaction I guess. We’ve had some conversations about sex but nothing too deep. I do want to have more talks without coming across as too sexual or weird if that makes sense.

I’ve been dating my boyfriend going on 2 years in September and he’s a virgin as well. I’ll be turning 27 in August and him 30 also in August. We’ve been discussing marriage and even went ring shopping recently so I’m super excited about the future!

I will say though, I have been struggling with desire and masturbation/porn alot on my own. When I was younger, thought by this age I’d be married by now and I feel a sense of frustration and anxiety about how my first time will go and most importantly when it will happen. I’m slightly approaching the I’m tired of waiting mark but of course I don’t want to ruin my relationship with lust and my boyfriend is very respectful and keeps this boundary strong as well.

If anyone has dealt with this personally how did you handle this? I feel like alot of these thoughts are internal and knowing myself I won’t actually act on this and have sex but it’s just frustration and anxiety I’m dealing with regarding still being a virgin at this age and how I want my first time to do/when it will happen.

For those who are married is it worth the wait and did everything work out okay? Do you regret waiting? How did you deal with nerves/anxiety?

I also have one final question not sure how taboo it is or not. Does size matter? I haven’t seen my boyfriends obviously so I guess that is a surprise but I wonder about that too. He’s the first virgin I’ve dated long term and the other men of my past were non virgins. It’s a breath of fresh air but of course in my head I always had the fantasy of the man leading that interaction I guess. We’ve had some conversations about sex but nothing too deep. I do want to have more talks without coming across as too sexual or weird if that makes sense.

No shade but ever since he left OBX what has he done exactly? Yes I’m aware he’s booking roles but compared to Drew at least he’s only booking smaller projects and not really the main character…. I saw reminders of him and he was NOT the lead and was in the movie for maybe 5-10 minutes lol. Most recently I saw a trailer he was supposedly in I believe it’s something for Hulu and he was barely shown in it and don’t even have speaking lines! I wonder if he regrets leaving the series and ofc the fallout that followed..thoughts?

For background I have an MBA in HR management and leadership/ and around 3-4 years experience in my field. Also currently enrolled in a DEI certificate.

The furthest I got in the process was for the MDC detention center in NYC where I had to fill out a background check and many forms. I faxed them over, just to hear nothing but crickets back in November and the posting now says Hiring complete.

I am primarily looking for a role on the east coast with a starting salary of 70k plus and maybe potential telework of available but not required.

Ideally I would hope to be in the 80-100k range. My bf is a budget analyst and makes around 105k and he just has a Bachelors but has been in the federal government for over 4 years now.

In my current job I only make $29 an hour and have been there for 2 years now. Any advice would be helpful, I’ve done literally 100s of applications and I have alerts for the HR job series and I apply to roles multiple times a week and have done all the assessments required as well. It’s mentally exhausting and I feel like giving up. Not to mention some of those roles got cancelled too. Why can’t USA jobs have an easy apply option when 90 percent of the questions are the same??

Just my two cents on the situation. And my resume is able to view for the supervisors/recruiters as well.

For reference I’m a 26F and I work full time and have an mba. I make around $29hr and work 35 hours a week. My job has a pension but like I barely take anything home. My biweekly checks are around 1410 biweekly. My rent is around 1412 and I have around $900 in other expenses (have a $623 storage bill that I desperately need to get rid off.)

Roughly I have $400-500 to spare each month. Any ideas on how to make extra money? I’ve applied for countless new full time and part time jobs and get rejected left and right. I literally have a separate customer service resume and have over 6 years of customer service experience despite working in the corporate world now. I feel quite marble in my situation and want extra money asap. I thought my mba would have opened doors for me but I’m starting to regret it now and maybe even considering switching careers.

I’ve sold random items on Mercari and have made money here and there, thought about creating a lip gloss company, I’m interesting in the vending business but I don’t have a car to transport goods..::not really sure what else is out there and yeah like I said I’ve been applying for retail eve fast food constantly to make extra money. Ideally I want to be hopefully making between 80-100k within the next two years or so.