u/Reasonable-Cherry180

I’m going to be as factual as I can in all of this and leave all feelings out.

I matched with a guy on Hinge about two months and we had been seeing each other multiple times a week. I am going to add these descriptions because I think based on other posts they may be relevant to your views. He is 32, male, blue collar worker, about 5’5 and probably a 5/10 on the looks scale. I am 27, female, work in finance, about 5’3, 120lbs, big boobs and a 6.5/10 on the looks scale. We both wanted the exact same thing. Serious relationship, marriage, kids.

Another thing I want to add is that I would try to pay for meals and he would refuse even though he would say he was broke and I live comfortably. He knew I did not care about money and was not using him for anything.

About two days ago I brought up the topic of defining the relationship as I am not one to waste time if it’s not going anywhere. He said he couldn’t see us having a long term relationship because I have the same name as his niece… I literally couldn’t believe it as I thought we were headed in the right direction then got met with a shitty ass excuse.

Anyway, today I see he commented on an Instagram Reel “hoflation” on a video of a girl talking about cooking for her situationship.

I went down a rabbit hole of what that means and it has brought me here. I could sense some incel traits in him but I think he kept them pretty guarded.

He has absolutely nothing going for him yet he (from what I have seen I would say I am a “high value woman”) didn’t want a relationship. I am thinking men lack the exact same self awareness that incels are claiming women have.

UPDATE: He just texted me asking if we could still be friends. Wtf?!?!

I was seeing this guy for about two months (3-4 times a week) and things moved pretty fast. It got to the point where I knew I needed to either become exclusive or break it off so I sent him a text asking where he stood.

His response was that he has been thinking about this and he loves spending time with me but he does not see a long term relationship working because I have the same name as his niece... He says that when we’re in bed and wants to say my name it throws him off and he can’t finish (he has finished, but whatever ignoring that part).

Literally the absolute last fucking thing I expected to be told. This is as wild as I think it is, right?!?!

I started seeing this guy a little over a month ago and things have been going amazingly. We live very close to each other so we’ve seen each other quite a bit and things have progressed somewhat quickly.

He has been very clear about wanting something serious and I am on the same page. He initiates almost every date, text, instagram conversation and responds in .5 seconds.

We did not kiss until about 10 dates in and physical progress was slow but after dating for a month and spending all Saturday together we had sex. He then came to my house on Sunday and we spent all day together (no sex). I thought things were great.

He texted good morning on monday but then didn’t really want to carry a conversation. Since we spent the full weekend together I didn’t think much of it. Today he has not initiated a single conversation or seems to want to continue any that I start. This feels like a 180 shift from his behavior for the past month and a half. I’m so sad because I truly like him and thought we could build something.

Did he get what he wanted and lost interest?

He waited so long just for a kiss, has talked about only doing serious relationships, etc. I am so confused. I am pretty inexperienced in dating as I have only had one previous relationship so this has truly devastated me and I don’t know if it’s common or how to avoid it in the future.

I have been seeing this boy for about a month now. We have seen each other 12 out of the last 14 days so things have been escalating.

This morning he texted good morning, a video of him at work, leaving work and everything was normal. He is the type of guy that has a guy for everything so I texted him if he had a rec for an oil change. He says no, I make a joke about the one time that I actually need a rec he doesn’t have one and he responds with two links and a ✌🏻. It was def weird so I say that he can relax and it was just a joke. He responded “that’s gonna be hard. I’m pissed today”. I said sorry and that I would let him rest.

That was over 6 hours ago… he is constantly texting and sending reels and I haven’t heard anything from him. Do I reach out to ask if he’s okay? Do I wait for him to reach out? I don’t know what’s too much for someone I’ve been seeing for a couple of weeks but I also don’t want him to think I don’t care.

Been talking to this boy for about 3 months now. Not gonna lie that it’s been on and off because we are two hours away from each other, and me self sabotaging to avoid going through a breakup again.

Anyway, things have been good but I started to notice a change in his communication earlier this week. Less texts, leaving me on read, less flirty, etc. Planning the next time we would see each other felt like I was forcing him to see me.

Earlier today, after being left on ready again (this was unthinkable prior to this week), I texted him something along the lines of “hey, would love to have a check in about us. I want to know where your head is at”. I also said that it didn’t have to be in that moment but when he had a second.

He read it immediately and didn’t respond. That was 3 hours ago (keep in mind that I can see he has been on his phone all thjs time because he has his last seen on Whattsapp on). I double texted and said “Damn, I think being left on read for two hours confirmed my doubts”.

I know it’s unhinged to double text like that but I have nothing to lose. Is it crazy to expect a “definetly. will call you later” or a simple response to a text like that?

Hola! Vivo en Guaynabo y tengo una amiga que viene a visitar por 5 dias en un par de semanas. Estará aquí de jueves a martes y me he dado cuenta que soy muy mala tour guide. Quiere dias de aventura pero también dias relax.

Demen ideas de a donde llevarla y restaurantes que les gusten. Gracias!!

For context, I got dumped in October of last year and was given no explanation. There were no signs and I was SO in love. I went no contact immediately. Those first three months were truly the hardest days of my life.

In March of this year, on my birthday, he texted me. AFTER SIX MONTHS OF NC he texts me “Happy Birthday”. That text opened the door for me to ask him if he could explain what had happened. It led to a two hour phone call where he told me he felt like “there was something missing” and he couldn’t explain what it was. This was 15 minutes of the conversation and the rest of the time we were talking shit just like we used to do.

During the last month of our relationship I could feel he was falling into a deep depression so I asked him if he thought the depression had contributed to this. He admitted to me that he was in therapy and that he had talked to his therapist about this.

At the end of the conversation he asks me to text him if I ever wanted to talk. I told him no as I know I can’t be just friends with him. He understood but sounded sad and I could tell he was reminiscing. I said goodbye and he said “you aren’t even going to text me on my birthday?” To which I responded “we’ll see”.

His birthday was today. I texted him. His response? “Thanks!”

I know it’s my fault for hoping something would come out of this but I really thought something would.

The encouraging part is that I feel like I want to cry, yet I can’t. I am definitely sad that I know know this is the end but knowing how distraught I was a couple of months ago, I am holding on very well.

Anyway, no, I will not be responding to his “Thanks!” it couldn’t be clearer that I need to somehow move on from this man, I just don’t know how. No one will ever compare to him.

Hello! To make this story short, I thought I was dating the love of my life last year. One day out of the blue he dumped me and gave no explanation. I loved that man and to say it destroyed me is an understatement.

The breakup happened in October 2025 and I went straight to no contact. My birthday comes around (April 2026) and I get a text. I did not expect I would spend my birthday crying but here we were. I respond to the text and after a bit of back and forth we schedule a call for the weekend as I told him that even though he didn’t owe me anything I felt like I needed to know what happened in order to move on. Before the call I told him I could not have a friendship with him and he understood.

Call comes around and it is 2 hours long (felt like 15 minutes). He tells me he feels like there was something missing yet couldn’t explain what it was. He suffers from depression and only got help 2 months after our breakup (I personally think the “lack of spark” he described was a lack of willingness to live while he got his depression under control). I told him that and he said that he had talked to his therapist about that being a possibility but I didn’t pry.

While awkward at the beginning as I had many hard questions it felt like nothing had changed. Our chemistry was still there. He had stories he had been waiting to share from the 6 months where we didn’t speak. I also kept saying I wasn’t looking for reconciliation (which was a lie I was telling myself).

At the end of the call he says how great of a conversation that was and that I should text him if I ever want to talk again. I repeat that I cannot be just his friend. He gets quiet. He says he is scared to text me first and I say “so am I so I don’t think we’ll speak again”. He responds “not even on my birthday?”. As in, he wants me to text him on his birthday.

The end of the conversation left me in shock because (and I know I’m over analyzing here but how could I not…) I could tell he started to reminisce which I was not expecting.

Anyway, his birthday is in two weeks and I obviously want to text him but I am not sure if I should. All I want is for us to try again now that he finally found help for his mental health issues. Would texting him for his birthday signal I am looking for a friendship? If there was any chance he was doubting the breakup, would he had already reached out (convo happened about about 5 weeks ago)? What would you do if you were hoping for reconciliation?