u/Revolutionary_Cow256

I moved house when I was pregnant and put up a new, big arched mirror in my bedroom. Never thought anything of it when I was pregnant as my body looked completely different for an obvious reason, so just chalked it down to that.. but at 8 weeks PP now and with a lot of my weight gone, I still notice that every single time I look at myself I feel so stumpy and like my arms, legs and torso all look shorter than they did before.

I thought the mirror was just making me look a little odd so I bought a new, more expensive one but it’s just the same. Also tried out a few family and friends mirrors which have confirmed that it is in fact my body genuinely appearing to look stumpier. I’m curious to know anybody else found this?

Every time I google this, it always says that fluid retention usually goes away by 7 days PP. I know much of my weight is ‘fat’ but my arms, face and calves all feel puffier still at 7 weeks post partum. Is there any chance this is still fluid retention or is that very unlikely by now?

I’m 3.5 weeks post partum following an emergency c-section with my 9lb 2oz baby boy, my first. Prior to pregnancy, I was a U.K. size 4-6 (XS) and had a naturally very thin build. I never weighed myself and could always eat what I wanted and not work out so I have no idea how much I gained, but my whole body looks entirely different now that I’ve had a baby and as self-obsessed as it sounds.. I’m really struggling mentally every time I get changed or look at myself in the mirror. I cry to myself that I hate myself every single day and genuinely feel a sense of hatred and disgust that I cannot shake off.

My stomach has mostly flattened, but my once very tiny, cinched waist is now much wider and I appear to be a rectangular shape all the way down like my torso is just a square. My arms used to be slender and toned and now they’re much bigger and have no definition. My thighs are much bigger too and I have weight still on my face. None of my rings or bracelets fit either. I feel like I used to have poise and now I just look slouched and heavy.

Although I can’t exercise, I’ve been going for a couple of walks every few days and doing daily trips around the supermarket just to stay moving. I’m exclusively breastfeeding but don’t have the appetite to be eating that much.

I just feel in a pretty dark place mentally with my body image, as somebody who has always struggled with the way I look. No matter how much my partner and mum tell me I’m beautiful and look so well etc, I cannot believe it. My brain tells me that this is my body now; permanently altered in exactly this way. I don’t know what I’m asking for here.. advice, opinions or experiences I suppose.

Asking for both opinions and in need of a rant as I feel so deflated right now.

I’m 39w + 4 days with my first baby. I had my first sweep on Tuesday done by a fantastic, experienced midwife who has been practicing over 40 years and delivers the 6 week antenatal programme that our hospital offers. Her confidence, knowledge and professionalism feels second to non and when she gave me my sweep, she did it very promptly and told me straight away that I was 2cm dilated already with very soft cervix and that this was a really positive sweep. So much so that she was surprised to see we’d made it to our final class last night and suggested I call up and book a second sweep this morning. So that’s what I did..

Very early on in our pregnancy, one of the midwives I saw seemed very unorganised and was just a little odd. It later transpired that she’d booked in all of my future appointments at the wrong date, which has led to complications plotting my babies percentiles throughout all of my appointments (that other midwives have apologised for on her behalf).

Today, I was admittedly a little disheartened to see it was this midwife who would be doing my sweep even though she told me she was in her 50s and has been doing these sweeps a long time. The appointment was booked for 12pm but I was left waiting until 12:45, to which she said she was doing another sweep but that “the baby didn’t want to co-operate” which I found odd. Again, she seemed flustered and unorganised and when she finally does my sweep, she’s digging in deep and for much longer than the first midwife did. She then pulls a face and says that my baby is still “really, really posterior” so she’s not getting a good result. I ask her whether I’m still 2cm dilated and she tells me “I’m a little meaner.. I’d say you’re only just 1cm”. Finally, she says “it’s not all doom and gloom - at least you have another sweep booked for in 7 days time which you’ll probably need” which was just the cherry on top to burst any bit of hope I had that my baby would be here shortly. So basically she told me without such words that not only has this second sweep failed, but that the information (and hope) I was given during my first sweep was incorrect.

I’ve come away crying and feeling incredibly frustrated which I know probably sounds a little bratty, especially considering I still have 3 more days until my due date even. It’s just that I’m in total agony with my body now and the first day of this hot weather is already making things even more difficult, so I’m dreading this whole super hot bank holiday and was just really looking forward to the idea of having my baby here and enough of the “any updates” texts and calls that bombard me daily.

I don’t really know what I’m asking, but I suppose it would be useful to know if anybody else has had a similar experience where two midwives have given you polar opposite opinions and left you feeling crappy.

My partner and I are expecting our first baby very soon and have been clear with family and friends from the start of pregnancy that we won’t be sharing our son’s name until he’s born. Despite this, my partners older sister (28F) has persistently asked us to tell her what we’re calling him - much to my annoyance. She’s been pretty immature our whole pregnancy despite being a couple years older than us, as she’s very much still deep into her carefree social circle and doesn’t always understand what is ‘acceptable’ to say or do in terms of overstepping (e.g., tutted and said “no don’t do that” when we told her that we wanted to find out his gender by ourselves as an intimate moment before telling family the next day).

About 2 weeks ago, we attended a family BBQ and everyone else was drinking and lively. At the night, she cornered me and said “you don’t have to but please tell me the name, or just a hint”. Against my instinct, I caved and told her the name me and my partner had chosen. Straight away, she pulled a disappointed face and proceeded to tell me that SHE had ‘always’ said she wanted to call her future son a similar name because of its family significance. She tried to guilt trip me and made me feel extremely guilty and uncomfortable (I’m not that close with her as she’s lived overseas for most of our relationship).

Basically (without giving the surname away), my partner and his sister have a distinctive foreign surname. Within that surname, is a name. Let’s say that their surname is “Leonard” and you have both the names “Leo” and “Leon” within that name. I effectively told my SIL that we will be calling our baby Leo, and she has said that she has “always” said she wants to call her future child Leon. Her disappointment is that our chosen baby name for the son we have in a matter of weeks is too similar to the name she wants to call her hypothetical child in the future.

My partner has just told me that his sister has since gone to him behind my back and asked if we are “certain” we want to call our son this name, and further expressed her upset about its similarity to the name she wants to call the child she A) isn’t sure she even wants (has said many times, including at my baby shower, that she “couldn’t think of anything worse” than having a baby when asked by her auntie in front of everybody) and B) isn’t ever guaranteed to have. It’s also a DIFFERENT name anyway?! Like Eva and Ava or Shay and Ray …

I feel completely disrespected and just generally annoyed that she’s once again been so immature and will no doubt express her upset once again when we do in fact call our son this name once he arrives. I also know for a fact that she has spoilt the surprise for my partners parents and told them the name of their first grandchild whilst complaining to them about it.

It has cast doubt in my partners mind over calling our son this name, despite it being chosen for months as one that we both love, which has caused a huge fight between us. I feel really angry that she’s done this and get the feeling that if she ever does decide to have a baby one day that she may understand just how ridiculous she’s being here. Are my feelings valid here or am I overreacting?

The last 9 months have been incredibly expensive as first time parents with buying everything we needed for the baby (due in 3 weeks) and moving into a new place that needed furnishing. I’ve found myself much deeper into my credit cards and having pretty much no money half way through the month, which has led to an ongoing cycle. I’m hoping that once the baby is here and now that everything we need as of yet is bought, that things will ease up. However I of course am worrying about being on such reduced pay. Just curious as to whether other new parents found they spent less once their baby was here, or whether it just continues as the baby grows.