u/RexConen

Sorry for the long title, I tried to make it short but it became confusing

I recently ventured into certain subs and situation, I believe I am happy being alone but I am also happy being with my family or being with someone special

And whenever I mentioned something like this people said I am not truly happy being alone or I should learn from them or things like that as no person who is truly happy alone will ever like to be with someone or living with someone etc.

EDIT: there seem to be a minor confusion, people I am talking about are the ones who are also alone, but are criticizing me because I said I enjoy more with family and etc. saying they are some how superior in happiness by being 'genuinely' alone

Just seen lot of people not being accectionate with each other, not even sharing the same bedrooms, etc.

Again I know they won't just start making out infront of me but it sometimes feel like these people don't kiss or even hug🫂

EDIT: seprate bedrooms is something I gave as an example, I was not asking regarding seprate bedrooms, it is different question

Like old people also don't start new relationships expept some people

My bio father left me when I was 1 year old, my step father occasionally harrassed, verbally, mentally and physically abused me and still( currently) my mother expects me to forgive him as he provided us with resources

My mother sacrificed a lot for me, but I cannot share anything to her as it would later be used against me in arguments

I used to be be very good in studies but it all went extremely down hill after lockdown and now I will be going in tier 3 collage which was all my fault

I also found out I will never go pro in my favourite sport as I started late

I wanted to have grow up have a family but I am such a looser that I don't deserve to have a wife, kids, mother or close friends

I realised I cannot go pro, without destroying my life atleast

Why is there a 75 characters specification

Edit: Just asking, can you still be a good high level advance player if you start at 19

I am not at 0,

But should I understand mechanics of it( like entire kinetic chain) and when to contract core and whatever

Or

Just by observation

Just asking, typing this because there need to be 75 characters for whatever reason

I know answers will vary from person to person, but on all the grand schemes of life, do all 3 of these things hold up as valuable

Things like dead bedrooms are issues in some marriages but then some people also open their relationships saying "it just sex"

Sorry for the long title

So I watched a 'philosophy' related podcast of 50 mins between 2 people who were discussing about this topic

They said:-

1. Marriage or relationship or children only binde you, so smart people choose freedom( calling everyone in marriage or relationship or with children dumb), for example they don't need to consider other people before taking a decision

2. When you marry you increase responsibilities which wastes your time, which could be used in actually living life( like travelling, sports, etc.), for example when you are single you don't need to care about another person but now you do

3. Having children further complicates the situation and increase the responsibility

4. men only see looks and women only see money before marriage, and everything else which they say they look is a lie

5. They said every men who says he wants a family life is coping because he already have a family or have not experienced the kind of life they are living ( travelling, camping, etc. whenever you want whithout any responsibility)

6. They said having a family restricts a persons their world view, life and personal growth as now they don't have time for themselves

7. all love is just harmones which goes away after sometime and person begins to suffer

8. less responsibility = more freedom

They also added every men who has a family is not actually happy with it and is just societally conditioned to belive that family gives happiness

They said there way of life is superior and will give you real happiness

Atlast, holy hell. I have faced an abusive stepfather, borderline failing in exams, not wiping my ass because water ran out, etc. nothings has caused me more anxiety, stress, overthinking and doubt more than this podcast

;

I came across this comment on youtube,

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"I have always found that the construct of man women relationship is wrong in the world. The very format is terribly flawed. To have a companion you need not to marry. To have sex you need not to marry or be in a relationship. Sex and companionship are not the same thing. If you can see yourself and others as human, irrespective of gender you will understand what I am trying to say. To be romantic you need not to be in a relationship. You can be a romantic person still you may not follow the existing rules of society about relationships. First thing one should have is, freedom not relationship, but the concept of marriage and relationship is against freedom of the individual. Being able to make a career or go to places is not the only freedom, yes it's type of freedom. We need bath soap, same way maybe one can need relationship but bath soap is not all you will need. You will need yourself."

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It felt a little weird, I get that some people don't like being in a relationship but does that mean "construct of man women relationship is wrong"?

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As you age do you really begin to see love as waste of time or as wasted time, do you find relationships to be flawed and going against your freedom as an individual?