u/Rich-Huckleberry4863

Hi everyone, I’m hoping to get some advice because I’m genuinely worried about someone close to me.

He is a German citizen, fluent in German, and has experience in e-commerce, but he has been unemployed for almost 2 years now. During this time, he completed around 6 months of training through the Jobcenter.

I’ve been reading through this subreddit and noticed that a lot of the discussions seem to involve foreigners and questions about German language requirements such as C1/C2. Maybe I’m mistaken, so please correct me if I am.

I’m wondering if there are also German citizens here who have struggled to find work, particularly after a longer period of unemployment.

I’m especially worried because he has been out of work for quite a while now. I know the longer the gap, the harder it can sometimes be to get back into the job market, and I’m not sure how employers in Germany generally view a 2-year gap.

If anyone here has been in a similar situation and eventually managed to get out of it and find a job, I’d really love to hear your experience. What helped you? How long did it take? Did you have to change industries or accept a lower position to get back in?

I’m honestly worried and would really appreciate hearing from German citizens or anyone else who has experienced long-term unemployment in Germany.

Thank u very much for reading.

I’m 31F and he’s 30M. We met online in January 2026 and started getting close pretty quickly. We finally met in person in June 2026 and spent about three weeks together.

The connection in person was very real. We had strong physical attraction, got along well, and I felt very emotionally connected to him. He also introduced me to his mother and very close friends, which made the relationship feel much more serious to me. It wasn’t just an online relationship anymore.

The problem is that his life is currently very unstable.
He has been struggling financially and mentally. He is unemployed and dealing with depression/mental health issues, and I know he is going through a very difficult period in his life. He is trying to get himself back on his feet, but there doesn’t seem to be a clear timeline for when his situation will improve.

We’re also long-distance, and right now we don’t have a specific date for when we’ll see each other again. There is still obvious attraction between us, and I care about him a lot. But the uncertainty is starting to make me question whether I’m investing in something that may not be able to progress anytime soon.

The difficult part is that he is actually a good partner to me despite everything he is going through. He gives me emotional support, makes me feel loved, and I still find him very attractive. My concern isn’t that he treats me badly. It’s more that his own life is currently at rock bottom, and I don’t know how long he will be there.

I’m also 31, and I’m conscious that I don’t want to spend years waiting for someone to become ready for a life together.

So I’m struggling with where the line is.

For those who have been in relationships with a depressed partner, especially relationships that started while one person was at a very low point, did it eventually work out?

I’m particularly interested in stories where:
- One person was depressed or mentally struggling at the beginning
- They could also financially unstable or unemployed
- There was (at least initially) no clear timeline for when they would see each other again
- ultimately the depressed partner eventually became more stable
-and the relationship became a healthy, successful long-term relationship

I would especially love to hear from people who stayed together successfully.

What did the next 1-3 years look like? Did their mental health and circumstances eventually improve?

For those whose relationships didn’t work out, I’d also really appreciate hearing what happened. What warning signs did you miss? At what point did you realize that loving someone wasn’t enough to make the relationship sustainable?

If you were in my position, would you continue the relationship?

Thank u very much for reading.

I’m 31F and he’s 30M. We met online in January 2026 and started getting close pretty quickly. We finally met in person in June 2026 and spent about three weeks together.

The connection in person was real. We had strong physical attraction, got along well, and I felt very emotionally connected to him. He also introduced me to his mother and very close friends, which made the relationship feel more serious to me. It wasn’t just an online relationship anymore.

The problem is that his life is currently very unstable.
He has been struggling financially and mentally. He has been unemployed and dealing with his own mental health issues, and I know he is going through a difficult period in his life. He is trying to get himself back on his feet, but there doesn’t seem to be a clear timeline for when his situation will improve.

We’re long-distance, and right now we don’t have a specific date for when we’ll see each other again. There is still obvious attraction between us, but the uncertainty is starting to make me question whether I’m investing in something that may not be able to progress anytime soon.

I care about him a lot. At the same time, I’m 31.
I don’t want to fall into the role of just being his emotional support system while his life is falling apart.
At the same time, I don’t want to abandon someone I genuinely care about.

He is at rock bottom financially and mentally but is still a good partner to me overall (e.g. he also provides me emotional support). I still find him very attractive despite his current struggles.

So I’m struggling with where the line is.
For those who have been in relationships that started similarly, did it work out?

Especially interested in stories where:
- One person was financially or mentally unstable at the beginning
- There was no clear timeline for when you’d see each other again (at least, at first)
- But the relationship eventually became stable and successful

I would especially love to hear from people who were in a similar position to us and stayed together successfully.

What did the next 1–3 years look like?
What changed, and what made you realize the relationship was actually going somewhere?

And for those whose relationships didn’t work out, what were the warning signs you wish you’d recognized earlier?

If you are in my position, would you continue this relationship?

Thank u very much for reading.

I’m from Asia and my boyfriend is from Europe. We’re in a long-distance relationship. We met online early this year, and things became serious quite quickly.

I knew from the beginning that he had been unemployed and was struggling emotionally. He was looking for work and getting professional help. I knew things weren’t perfect, but I didn’t know how serious his financial situation was.

We eventually became serious enough that I traveled to Europe to see him. I spent around €2.5k on the trip: approximately €1,300 for flights, €260 for my visa and travel insurance, and around €940 on hotels, food, transportation, and other expenses. Much of it went on my credit card, and I’m still paying it off.

I stayed in his apartment. He introduced me to his mother and his friends, and he also introduced me to his dad, although I didn’t actually meet him. We traveled together and talked about our future and seeing each other again.

From my side, my mom already knows about him, which is a big deal because I have never introduced any guy to my family before. My friends and workmates have also seen photos of us from our travels, so they know we’re officially together.
After the trip, he told me more about his financial situation. He has significant debt and had apparently mishandled his money and some financial obligations. I became very emotional when he told me the full extent of it because I felt completely blindsided.

While we were talking about everything, I asked him how much he had spent on the car rentals during our trip and considered to reimburse him. He told me it was €570.

What really got to me was that he already knew I was also in debt and still paying off the trip I took to see him, yet he didn’t even consider saying something like, “You don’t have to cover all of it, maybe you can help with a portion.”

I know he can’t read my mind. But I couldn’t help thinking: “Did you actually hear what I just told you?”

I’m heartbroken. Before finding all this out, I could imagine a future with him. Now I feel like I’m suddenly in this little nightmare after finding out how badly he has managed his money and how much financial instability there actually is.

And I’m embarrassed.

My family knows about him. My friends know about him. My coworkers have seen our photos. I was so confident about this relationship that I let the important people in my life know about it.

So I have two questions:

1. Should I break up with my boyfriend?
2. If yes, how do I deal with the embarrassment of having told my family and friends about him if we do brea

k up?

Edit for context: I can afford the trip. I put the expenses on my credit card for convenience, but I actually paid the entire balance off as soon as I received my statement.

I intentionally didn’t tell him that I had already paid it off because I wanted to see how he would react, given that he knew I was supposedly still carrying the debt.

And yeah, his reaction was honestly disappointing.

Hi everyone,

I’m not sure if I picked the right flair, but this is a personal question.

I’m not from Germany, but my boyfriend is German. I’m trying to understand whether what he told me is normal under the German health insurance system.

He said he was hospitalized, his insurance reimbursed him, but he used the reimbursement for something else and now still owes the hospital. He also told me he pays through PayPal.

Is that a plausible situation? I’m just wondering if this is something that genuinely happens in Germany.

I’d appreciate both explanations of how the system works and any perspective on the situation.

Thanks!

I just got back home after spending a few weeks with my long-distance partner, and I’m really struggling. I miss him so much, and it’s harder than I expected.

If anyone has been through this and wouldn’t mind talking, please feel free to message me. I could really use some support from people who understand.

I’m (30F) planning a trip to the US and I’ve been looking forward to it for months. A big reason for the trip is that I’m finally planning to meet someone (29M) I’ve been talking to long-distance for quite a while. We’re not officially together yet, but the plan is definitely to spend time together and see where things go. It’s basically our first real date, just on a much bigger scale.

When I told my mom about the trip, she immediately wanted to come with me. The moment she said that, my stomach dropped. I know she meant well and probably just wanted to travel with me, but I felt disappointed because it would’ve completely changed the purpose of the trip.

I ended up telling her I’d be meeting up with college friends instead. I didn’t tell her about the guy because I wasn’t ready for all the questions, concerns, and possible judgment. Now I feel stuck because she eventually said she won’t come, but I have this lingering feeling that she’s hurt.

Part of me feels bad because I had to lie. Another part of me feels frustrated because I’m an adult and I don’t think it’s wrong to want some independence or to meet someone I care about without my mom tagging along.

Should I tell my mom before the trip that one of the main reasons I’m going is to meet someone I’ve been talking to long-distance, or is it reasonable to wait until after we’ve met in person and I know whether the relationship is real?

I’m (30F) planning a trip to the US and I’ve been looking forward to it for months. A big reason for the trip is that I’m finally planning to meet someone (29M) I’ve been talking to long-distance for quite a while. We’re not officially together yet, but the plan is definitely to spend time together and see where things go. It’s basically our first real date, just on a much bigger scale.

When I told my mom about the trip, she immediately wanted to come with me. The moment she said that, my stomach dropped. I know she meant well and probably just wanted to travel with me, but I felt disappointed because it would’ve completely changed the purpose of the trip.

I ended up telling her I’d be meeting up with college friends instead. I didn’t tell her about the guy because I wasn’t ready for all the questions, concerns, and possible judgment. Now I feel stuck because she eventually said she won’t come, but I have this lingering feeling that she’s hurt.

Part of me feels bad because I had to lie. Another part of me feels frustrated because I’m an adult and I don’t think it’s wrong to want some independence or to meet someone I care about without my mom tagging along.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Did you tell your parents you were meeting your LDR partner, or did you keep it private? How did you handle the guilt and the fear of disappointing them?